B
Bud_Fox
Guest
Which works better when living with a spouse?
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
Nutz
Master Don Juan
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ALWAYS have separate accounts. And a prenup so you keep your stuff in case of divorce--which can serve as a nice block to her walking away. IF you don't protect yourself the state will reward her for divorcing you, which is a huge incentive. By protecting you assets you deny her this incentive and it gives her one more reason to try and work things out if you're having problems (which you will).
SecondHalf
Master Don Juan
Use both.
A common account is convenient for running the home and paying for day to day joint life. The bulk of your money (or the remainder) should go into your personal account.
Just do a budget together, agree on deposit amounts and both do it.
Easiest way that I've found.
A common account is convenient for running the home and paying for day to day joint life. The bulk of your money (or the remainder) should go into your personal account.
Just do a budget together, agree on deposit amounts and both do it.
Easiest way that I've found.
sodbuster
Master Don Juan
Yours,mine and ours. One for joint expenses, that way, you both have your own and a bit of mad money neither spouse can complain about.
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Mike32ct
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 22, 2007
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- 8,408
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^This.sodbuster said:
I'm not married, but my father always recommends this setup.
My parents have been married for 43 years and this is what they have done. They say it causes less problems that way. As long as the bills are paid and the savings are in the bank, do what you like with what you earned.SecondHalf said:
Dust 2 Dust
Master Don Juan
I'll never share a bank account with a woman. Most women I know are spend thrifts who can't save a dime. Several of my female coworkers are chronically broke despite having good paying jobs.
speed dawg
Master Don Juan
We have a joint account and a savings account. I control all the finances. Every purchase runs through me. I do not have any problems except for the typical BS because I'm tight. I set a budget and we meet it every month.
I know many couples where the wife runs the finances. I'm a big believer in playing to people's strengths and all, but very few women I know should be trusted with that. It's almost like the husband admitting their own dumbassedness. I only know ONE couple where the wife is much more tight than the husband, but even they are in a tremendous amount of debt.
There again, if there are real troubles with finances, it's typically a symptom of other marital problems, not the source of it.
Personally, I could not imagine a marriage where I could not trust my wife with such things. If I ever got to that point, I think I would be contemplating why I married that person in the first place and form an exit strategy. Many of you miss that important point.
I know many couples where the wife runs the finances. I'm a big believer in playing to people's strengths and all, but very few women I know should be trusted with that. It's almost like the husband admitting their own dumbassedness. I only know ONE couple where the wife is much more tight than the husband, but even they are in a tremendous amount of debt.
There again, if there are real troubles with finances, it's typically a symptom of other marital problems, not the source of it.
Personally, I could not imagine a marriage where I could not trust my wife with such things. If I ever got to that point, I think I would be contemplating why I married that person in the first place and form an exit strategy. Many of you miss that important point.
Lets say you do share an account with your girl. All is cool until she falls behind on a loan, stops paying her credit card or something that sends the credit collectors after her.
The first thing the bill collectors will look for is an account with her name on it (Banks share this information with all legitimate credit agencies.) They don't care if someone else shares the account, if there is money in it, out it comes.
It all boils down to how much you trust your girl fiscally.
The first thing the bill collectors will look for is an account with her name on it (Banks share this information with all legitimate credit agencies.) They don't care if someone else shares the account, if there is money in it, out it comes.
It all boils down to how much you trust your girl fiscally.
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Kailex
Master Don Juan
It's old, but has some good insight.
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=176381
And, I'll add a bit more of insight after a year+.
The only "joint" account that should be opened is an account that is a 50/50 account for paying bills. That's it.
Any other money should be kept seperate.
Direct deposit makes the joint account easy to build up. Ideally, it's an account that'll have a balance close to 0 after all the bills for the month have been paid. I've actually advised couples to open an account with just 10 bucks (5 from each)... calculate their monthly expenses, divide that by 2 and then have their direct deposits set up by the amount that was divided by 2.
So far, haven't had a problem with those customers.
Good luck.
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=176381
And, I'll add a bit more of insight after a year+.
The only "joint" account that should be opened is an account that is a 50/50 account for paying bills. That's it.
Any other money should be kept seperate.
Direct deposit makes the joint account easy to build up. Ideally, it's an account that'll have a balance close to 0 after all the bills for the month have been paid. I've actually advised couples to open an account with just 10 bucks (5 from each)... calculate their monthly expenses, divide that by 2 and then have their direct deposits set up by the amount that was divided by 2.
So far, haven't had a problem with those customers.
Good luck.