B
Bud_Fox
Guest
Which works better when living with a spouse?
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Nutz
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jul 22, 2008
- Messages
- 1,583
- Reaction score
- 72
ALWAYS have separate accounts. And a prenup so you keep your stuff in case of divorce--which can serve as a nice block to her walking away. IF you don't protect yourself the state will reward her for divorcing you, which is a huge incentive. By protecting you assets you deny her this incentive and it gives her one more reason to try and work things out if you're having problems (which you will).
SecondHalf
Master Don Juan
Use both.
A common account is convenient for running the home and paying for day to day joint life. The bulk of your money (or the remainder) should go into your personal account.
Just do a budget together, agree on deposit amounts and both do it.
Easiest way that I've found.
A common account is convenient for running the home and paying for day to day joint life. The bulk of your money (or the remainder) should go into your personal account.
Just do a budget together, agree on deposit amounts and both do it.
Easiest way that I've found.
sodbuster
Master Don Juan
Yours,mine and ours. One for joint expenses, that way, you both have your own and a bit of mad money neither spouse can complain about.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Mike32ct
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 22, 2007
- Messages
- 8,408
- Reaction score
- 5,172
^This.sodbuster said:
I'm not married, but my father always recommends this setup.
My parents have been married for 43 years and this is what they have done. They say it causes less problems that way. As long as the bills are paid and the savings are in the bank, do what you like with what you earned.SecondHalf said:
Dust 2 Dust
Master Don Juan
I'll never share a bank account with a woman. Most women I know are spend thrifts who can't save a dime. Several of my female coworkers are chronically broke despite having good paying jobs.
speed dawg
Master Don Juan
We have a joint account and a savings account. I control all the finances. Every purchase runs through me. I do not have any problems except for the typical BS because I'm tight. I set a budget and we meet it every month.
I know many couples where the wife runs the finances. I'm a big believer in playing to people's strengths and all, but very few women I know should be trusted with that. It's almost like the husband admitting their own dumbassedness. I only know ONE couple where the wife is much more tight than the husband, but even they are in a tremendous amount of debt.
There again, if there are real troubles with finances, it's typically a symptom of other marital problems, not the source of it.
Personally, I could not imagine a marriage where I could not trust my wife with such things. If I ever got to that point, I think I would be contemplating why I married that person in the first place and form an exit strategy. Many of you miss that important point.
I know many couples where the wife runs the finances. I'm a big believer in playing to people's strengths and all, but very few women I know should be trusted with that. It's almost like the husband admitting their own dumbassedness. I only know ONE couple where the wife is much more tight than the husband, but even they are in a tremendous amount of debt.
There again, if there are real troubles with finances, it's typically a symptom of other marital problems, not the source of it.
Personally, I could not imagine a marriage where I could not trust my wife with such things. If I ever got to that point, I think I would be contemplating why I married that person in the first place and form an exit strategy. Many of you miss that important point.
Lets say you do share an account with your girl. All is cool until she falls behind on a loan, stops paying her credit card or something that sends the credit collectors after her.
The first thing the bill collectors will look for is an account with her name on it (Banks share this information with all legitimate credit agencies.) They don't care if someone else shares the account, if there is money in it, out it comes.
It all boils down to how much you trust your girl fiscally.
The first thing the bill collectors will look for is an account with her name on it (Banks share this information with all legitimate credit agencies.) They don't care if someone else shares the account, if there is money in it, out it comes.
It all boils down to how much you trust your girl fiscally.
“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
Kailex
Master Don Juan
It's old, but has some good insight.
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=176381
And, I'll add a bit more of insight after a year+.
The only "joint" account that should be opened is an account that is a 50/50 account for paying bills. That's it.
Any other money should be kept seperate.
Direct deposit makes the joint account easy to build up. Ideally, it's an account that'll have a balance close to 0 after all the bills for the month have been paid. I've actually advised couples to open an account with just 10 bucks (5 from each)... calculate their monthly expenses, divide that by 2 and then have their direct deposits set up by the amount that was divided by 2.
So far, haven't had a problem with those customers.
Good luck.
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=176381
And, I'll add a bit more of insight after a year+.
The only "joint" account that should be opened is an account that is a 50/50 account for paying bills. That's it.
Any other money should be kept seperate.
Direct deposit makes the joint account easy to build up. Ideally, it's an account that'll have a balance close to 0 after all the bills for the month have been paid. I've actually advised couples to open an account with just 10 bucks (5 from each)... calculate their monthly expenses, divide that by 2 and then have their direct deposits set up by the amount that was divided by 2.
So far, haven't had a problem with those customers.
Good luck.