B
Bud_Fox
Guest
Which works better when living with a spouse?
"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"
When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.
Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.
Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.
The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Nutz
Master Don Juan
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ALWAYS have separate accounts. And a prenup so you keep your stuff in case of divorce--which can serve as a nice block to her walking away. IF you don't protect yourself the state will reward her for divorcing you, which is a huge incentive. By protecting you assets you deny her this incentive and it gives her one more reason to try and work things out if you're having problems (which you will).
SecondHalf
Master Don Juan
Use both.
A common account is convenient for running the home and paying for day to day joint life. The bulk of your money (or the remainder) should go into your personal account.
Just do a budget together, agree on deposit amounts and both do it.
Easiest way that I've found.
A common account is convenient for running the home and paying for day to day joint life. The bulk of your money (or the remainder) should go into your personal account.
Just do a budget together, agree on deposit amounts and both do it.
Easiest way that I've found.
sodbuster
Master Don Juan
Yours,mine and ours. One for joint expenses, that way, you both have your own and a bit of mad money neither spouse can complain about.
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Mike32ct
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 22, 2007
- Messages
- 8,408
- Reaction score
- 5,172
^This.sodbuster said:
I'm not married, but my father always recommends this setup.
My parents have been married for 43 years and this is what they have done. They say it causes less problems that way. As long as the bills are paid and the savings are in the bank, do what you like with what you earned.SecondHalf said:
Dust 2 Dust
Master Don Juan
I'll never share a bank account with a woman. Most women I know are spend thrifts who can't save a dime. Several of my female coworkers are chronically broke despite having good paying jobs.
speed dawg
Master Don Juan
We have a joint account and a savings account. I control all the finances. Every purchase runs through me. I do not have any problems except for the typical BS because I'm tight. I set a budget and we meet it every month.
I know many couples where the wife runs the finances. I'm a big believer in playing to people's strengths and all, but very few women I know should be trusted with that. It's almost like the husband admitting their own dumbassedness. I only know ONE couple where the wife is much more tight than the husband, but even they are in a tremendous amount of debt.
There again, if there are real troubles with finances, it's typically a symptom of other marital problems, not the source of it.
Personally, I could not imagine a marriage where I could not trust my wife with such things. If I ever got to that point, I think I would be contemplating why I married that person in the first place and form an exit strategy. Many of you miss that important point.
I know many couples where the wife runs the finances. I'm a big believer in playing to people's strengths and all, but very few women I know should be trusted with that. It's almost like the husband admitting their own dumbassedness. I only know ONE couple where the wife is much more tight than the husband, but even they are in a tremendous amount of debt.
There again, if there are real troubles with finances, it's typically a symptom of other marital problems, not the source of it.
Personally, I could not imagine a marriage where I could not trust my wife with such things. If I ever got to that point, I think I would be contemplating why I married that person in the first place and form an exit strategy. Many of you miss that important point.
Lets say you do share an account with your girl. All is cool until she falls behind on a loan, stops paying her credit card or something that sends the credit collectors after her.
The first thing the bill collectors will look for is an account with her name on it (Banks share this information with all legitimate credit agencies.) They don't care if someone else shares the account, if there is money in it, out it comes.
It all boils down to how much you trust your girl fiscally.
The first thing the bill collectors will look for is an account with her name on it (Banks share this information with all legitimate credit agencies.) They don't care if someone else shares the account, if there is money in it, out it comes.
It all boils down to how much you trust your girl fiscally.
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Kailex
Master Don Juan
It's old, but has some good insight.
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=176381
And, I'll add a bit more of insight after a year+.
The only "joint" account that should be opened is an account that is a 50/50 account for paying bills. That's it.
Any other money should be kept seperate.
Direct deposit makes the joint account easy to build up. Ideally, it's an account that'll have a balance close to 0 after all the bills for the month have been paid. I've actually advised couples to open an account with just 10 bucks (5 from each)... calculate their monthly expenses, divide that by 2 and then have their direct deposits set up by the amount that was divided by 2.
So far, haven't had a problem with those customers.
Good luck.
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=176381
And, I'll add a bit more of insight after a year+.
The only "joint" account that should be opened is an account that is a 50/50 account for paying bills. That's it.
Any other money should be kept seperate.
Direct deposit makes the joint account easy to build up. Ideally, it's an account that'll have a balance close to 0 after all the bills for the month have been paid. I've actually advised couples to open an account with just 10 bucks (5 from each)... calculate their monthly expenses, divide that by 2 and then have their direct deposits set up by the amount that was divided by 2.
So far, haven't had a problem with those customers.
Good luck.