I believe that out of everyone I'm the total exception to the rule, in that I am deserving of nothing. I feel this way yet I continue to have wants and needs and this is very conflicting. I get times in which a woman would give me signals and I would take notice of it but would never take the initiative to find out if it was genuine. I would always rationalize it as her "being friendly" regardless of what I want. I realize this pattern and all the many opportunities I had, but sill I continue to convince myself that no kind of woman would ever want anything to do with me. I just see myself as a big nobody. I can't even remember how long I've been feeling this way for.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Self rejection (another whiny post).
- Thread starter C-quenced
- Start date
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
LittleBigOne
Don Juan
Stop thinking too much. And keep the focus on yourself! Who cares what woman think. You never know what a woman thinks, you can't read them. Don't look for signs either, too complicated.
What you should do is work on the right mindset. What do YOU like in woman, and what kind of woman do YOU like?
To give you an actual example: today i asked a girl out. I think she is nice but she was never giving me a sign of interest, looked even more into my friend. And surprising she said yes so we visit a concert this weekend. I did not expect that she would say yes but even if sje rejected, wtf, would she put a gun against my head? She must be glad that I asked her.
That's a better way of thinking. Read the dj bible on mindsets and anti dump.
What you should do is work on the right mindset. What do YOU like in woman, and what kind of woman do YOU like?
To give you an actual example: today i asked a girl out. I think she is nice but she was never giving me a sign of interest, looked even more into my friend. And surprising she said yes so we visit a concert this weekend. I did not expect that she would say yes but even if sje rejected, wtf, would she put a gun against my head? She must be glad that I asked her.
That's a better way of thinking. Read the dj bible on mindsets and anti dump.
^^^^^^^^
I already know what I want/like but as I've mentioned before... as much as I may want something I never feel as if I'm deserving of anything. Could be conditioning from a miserable childhood and teen years which I hated even more. I have 0 control over my thoughts.
I already know what I want/like but as I've mentioned before... as much as I may want something I never feel as if I'm deserving of anything. Could be conditioning from a miserable childhood and teen years which I hated even more. I have 0 control over my thoughts.
LittleBigOne
Don Juan
It is not about what you deserve. It is about what you want and how to reach that. It sucks when people have a bad childhood but it is not an excuse about the way you are thinking on this subject.
I think you are afraid of rejection, which is normal. But deal with it and calculate in it that there will be rejections. It's part of it. So read anti dump and if it's really getiing out of hand get professional help.
I think you are afraid of rejection, which is normal. But deal with it and calculate in it that there will be rejections. It's part of it. So read anti dump and if it's really getiing out of hand get professional help.
"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
TheWayOfAllFlesh
Senior Don Juan
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this guy is right. youre simply afraid of rejection. i am too. I use to think i was unworthy but then i changed my appearance into something that was worthy and now im working on my rjectino by appraoching people once i overcome my AALittleBigOne said:It is not about what you deserve. It is about what you want and how to reach that. It sucks when people have a bad childhood but it is not an excuse about the way you are thinking on this subject.
I think you are afraid of rejection, which is normal. But deal with it and calculate in it that there will be rejections. It's part of it. So read anti dump and if it's really getiing out of hand get professional help.
LittleBigOne
Don Juan
Are you sure you have been rejected so much? You said you never really showed geniun interest to a woman. So basicly you rejected YOURSELF.C-quenced said:I've been through enough rejection to not really care so much about it.
Have the guts to act!
Majestick
Don Juan
^^ Life is all about taking control. Being the master of your environment. Things won't happen if you don't make them happen. Hand outs, relying on other people (including the people who will attempt to help you in this post) will only get you so far.
At some point, you must realize that with every day that passes, your inevitable death is on its way. Now, that's not a sad thought. It's a happy one in the fact that it means you should appreciate every day, make the most of it. Take control.
At some point, you must realize that with every day that passes, your inevitable death is on its way. Now, that's not a sad thought. It's a happy one in the fact that it means you should appreciate every day, make the most of it. Take control.
I agree with where your coming from C-quenced. Ive had similar thoughts in my life.
The thing is, we all think that we, personally, are the exception to the rule in one way or another...because we are ourselves...and we as ourselves view the world from first person. The thing is, some people use this mentality in a positive sense, thinking they are above everyone and everything else and go on to accomplish great things, or at least have the beleif to keep trying.
Other people however (yourself included) view this exception to the rule mentality in the negative sense. They feel they dont fit in, they feel they are unique in a bad way, and feel they should be socially outcasted from the 'common stock'.
At the end of the day we are all different, some people think more than others, some people do more than others.
GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD MAN!!! and start experiencing. And try not to over-analyze every tiny incrimental detail of your day. For the most part no-one is heavily critiquing you and judging you...try to relax more, and you will find people will respond to the relaxed vibes you give off subconsciously.
The thing is, we all think that we, personally, are the exception to the rule in one way or another...because we are ourselves...and we as ourselves view the world from first person. The thing is, some people use this mentality in a positive sense, thinking they are above everyone and everything else and go on to accomplish great things, or at least have the beleif to keep trying.
Other people however (yourself included) view this exception to the rule mentality in the negative sense. They feel they dont fit in, they feel they are unique in a bad way, and feel they should be socially outcasted from the 'common stock'.
At the end of the day we are all different, some people think more than others, some people do more than others.
GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD MAN!!! and start experiencing. And try not to over-analyze every tiny incrimental detail of your day. For the most part no-one is heavily critiquing you and judging you...try to relax more, and you will find people will respond to the relaxed vibes you give off subconsciously.
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.