Self-improvement "for yourself"

[Zimbabwe]

Self improvement as in anything you do that is intended to improve yourself and your life in any way, be it physical (exercise, improving appearance), mental (studying, work, education discispline), etc.

How much of that self improvement is done solely for the long-term goal of obtaining female attention? And how much of it is done for reasons unrelated to dating/sex?

If the people who claim that one should self-improve "for themselves and no one else" woke up tomorrow and found that every other person on earth had disappeared, do you think they would continue to "self-improve"? I don't believe they would. We're social creatures and I think the number of people who actually would continue to hit the gym and learn new languages and things like that in a world without any hope of being seen by others is miniscule.

 

[metalwater]

Self improvement as in anything you do that is intended to improve yourself and your life in any way, be it physical (exercise, improving appearance), mental (studying, work, education discispline), etc.

How much of that self improvement is done solely for the long-term goal of obtaining female attention? And how much of it is done for reasons unrelated to dating/sex?

If the people who claim that one should self-improve "for themselves and no one else" woke up tomorrow and found that every other person on earth had disappeared, do you think they would continue to "self-improve"? I don't believe they would. We're social creatures and I think the number of people who actually would continue to hit the gym and learn new languages and things like that in a world without any hope of being seen by others is miniscule.

of course; now that you know that how does it help you?

it's also masculine to admit this. feminine would rationalize it into being some higher purpose. men will simply understand it and then get it done.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Self improvement as in anything you do that is intended to improve yourself and your life in any way, be it physical (exercise, improving appearance), mental (studying, work, education discispline), etc.

How much of that self improvement is done solely for the long-term goal of obtaining female attention? And how much of it is done for reasons unrelated to dating/sex?

If the people who claim that one should self-improve "for themselves and no one else" woke up tomorrow and found that every other person on earth had disappeared, do you think they would continue to "self-improve"? I don't believe they would. We're social creatures and I think the number of people who actually would continue to hit the gym and learn new languages and things like that in a world without any hope of being seen by others is miniscule.

Some of those self improvements let you "feel" better, and give you better outcomes out of life. So it's a good idea to be a man and be responsible for it. "Feeling" better is important even if no one is around to see it, because you really would rather feel "****ty"?

 

[Plinco]

Self improvement as in anything you do that is intended to improve yourself and your life in any way, be it physical (exercise, improving appearance), mental (studying, work, education discispline), etc.

How much of that self improvement is done solely for the long-term goal of obtaining female attention? And how much of it is done for reasons unrelated to dating/sex?

If the people who claim that one should self-improve "for themselves and no one else" woke up tomorrow and found that every other person on earth had disappeared, do you think they would continue to "self-improve"? I don't believe they would. We're social creatures and I think the number of people who actually would continue to hit the gym and learn new languages and things like that in a world without any hope of being seen by others is miniscule.

Context is everything here. You're implying that one would self-improve for the sake of gaining respect from other people. If you were stranded on a deserted island, improving your ability to survive is in a sense self-improvement. Improving my business organization and money collection is what I consider self-improvement because it improves my situation; I'm doing this to make my life easier. If people respect me more for it, then great.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Context is everything here. You're implying that one would self-improve for the sake of gaining respect from other people. If you were stranded on a deserted island, improving your ability to survive is in a sense self-improvement. Improving my business organization and money collection is what I consider self-improvement because it improves my situation; I'm doing this to make my life easier. If people respect me more for it, then great.

Exactly, the key is that YOU respect you more for doing it.

 

[Kotaix]

Self improvement as in anything you do that is intended to improve yourself and your life in any way, be it physical (exercise, improving appearance), mental (studying, work, education discispline), etc.

How much of that self improvement is done solely for the long-term goal of obtaining female attention? And how much of it is done for reasons unrelated to dating/sex?

If the people who claim that one should self-improve "for themselves and no one else" woke up tomorrow and found that every other person on earth had disappeared, do you think they would continue to "self-improve"? I don't believe they would. We're social creatures and I think the number of people who actually would continue to hit the gym and learn new languages and things like that in a world without any hope of being seen by others is miniscule.

If you woke up tomorrow and found everyone else had vanished, you'd have to do some hardcore self-improvement if you wanted to stay alive longer than a year. You'd have to learn how to grow food and accomplish everything else that you take for granted that other people do for you.

But I do believe that a lot of self-improvement is done for the sake of attracting women.

 

[Modern Man Advice]

Self improvement as in anything you do that is intended to improve yourself and your life in any way, be it physical (exercise, improving appearance), mental (studying, work, education discispline), etc.

How much of that self improvement is done solely for the long-term goal of obtaining female attention? And how much of it is done for reasons unrelated to dating/sex?

If the people who claim that one should self-improve "for themselves and no one else" woke up tomorrow and found that every other person on earth had disappeared, do you think they would continue to "self-improve"? I don't believe they would. We're social creatures and I think the number of people who actually would continue to hit the gym and learn new languages and things like that in a world without any hope of being seen by others is miniscule.

I strongly believe it should come from a place of self-love as dorky as it sounds. It should be for you and you alone. It is YOUR life.

I also strongly believe that if that is the case, people that will complement your life will be cross paths with you and genuinely be there for you. So I see it as a consequence of self-improvement, not the end goal.

If you do it with getting laid and being "accepted" or "appreciated", I just don't think it's a genuine connection/intention anyway. Meaning, it is not sustainable in the long-run.

My two cents.


Modern Man Advice

 

[Epicenter]

I strongly believe it should come from a place of self-love as dorky as it sounds. It should be for you and you alone. It is YOUR life.

I also strongly believe that if that is the case, people that will complement your life will be cross paths with you and genuinely be there for you. So I see it as a consequence of self-improvement, not the end goal.

If you do it with getting laid and being "accepted" or "appreciated", I just don't think it's a genuine connection/intention anyway. Meaning, it is not sustainable in the long-run.

My two cents.


Modern Man Advice

Less dorky would be to go for pain reduction. That is enough reason already.

 

[IKO69]

Yeah getting women was an initial motivator. I moved past that though - it's not really all that uncommon. I like to keep in shape and learn new things as a way to honestly challenge myself. I keep logs of my progress for this reason.

 

[Zimbabwe]

I strongly believe it should come from a place of self-love as dorky as it sounds. It should be for you and you alone. It is YOUR life.

I also strongly believe that if that is the case, people that will complement your life will be cross paths with you and genuinely be there for you. So I see it as a consequence of self-improvement, not the end goal.

If you do it with getting laid and being "accepted" or "appreciated", I just don't think it's a genuine connection/intention anyway. Meaning, it is not sustainable in the long-run.

My two cents.


Modern Man Advice

I've personally always had the philosophy that if you want something, you need to go out and get it. Society doesn't really reward passive men, the majority of guys just live their life and they never cross paths with their soulmate.

 

[Lippy]

I've personally always had the philosophy that if you want something, you need to go out and get it. Society doesn't really reward passive men, the majority of guys just live their life and they never cross paths with their soulmate.

I also noticed that it somehow also depends on nationality. Some men just don't understand that they could achieve much more that they have, when others eager to get more and it's in their genetics. But it's only my observation.

 

[Mike32ct]

I've personally always had the philosophy that if you want something, you need to go out and get it. Society doesn't really reward passive men, the majority of guys just live their life and they never cross paths with their soulmate.

Agreed.

These guys were misled by people higher up in the SMV food chain who say “It will happen when you least expect it. My wife/gf came after me out of the blue.”

They never got the “Your mileage may vary” disclaimer. Or it didn’t occur to them why the other guy barely had to try to get women.

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

There is no such thing as doing one thing "for themselves". Guys who claim to do self-help "for themselves" are the exact same as women who insist on going to the gym in full makeup, $120 leggings, and a crop top.

Self-help is a bull**** enterprise.

 

[Epicenter]

There is no such thing as doing one thing "for themselves". Guys who claim to do self-help "for themselves" are the exact same as women who insist on going to the gym in full makeup, $120 leggings, and a crop top.

Self-help is a bull**** enterprise.

When you eat something you do it for others?

 

[Zimbabwe]

There is no such thing as doing one thing "for themselves". Guys who claim to do self-help "for themselves" are the exact same as women who insist on going to the gym in full makeup, $120 leggings, and a crop top.

Self-help is a bull**** enterprise.

I feel like for some reason society demonises Men who pursue women and relationships like it's something unnatural. For the vast majority of guys, they will never run into their soulmate by chance especially if they don't have a social circle that gives them access to women.

Agreed.

These guys were misled by people higher up in the SMV food chain who say “It will happen when you least expect it. My wife/gf came after me out of the blue.”

They never got the “Your mileage may vary” disclaimer. Or it didn’t occur to them why the other guy barely had to try to get women.

That advice only works for women, since guys would be the ones to approach them. It's like religious people telling me to "just pray for it".

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

I feel like for some reason society demonises Men who pursue women and relationships like it's something unnatural. For the vast majority of guys, they will never run into their soulmate by chance especially if they don't have a social circle that gives them access to women.

Women will only "come to you" in this context if you are already decent looking, socially savvy, charismatic, and are generally experienced/confident around women.

When you eat something you do it for others?

Dieting/food choices? Yes. Eating, in general, is obviously not self-development.

Most people who diet and exercise do it to seek the approval of others. Very few people do it because it for exclusively internal reasons (ie they enjoy it / they like feeling healthy).

Most of the things people do day to day would immediately cease if they were the last person on Earth, but that's normal. We are highly social creatures, so naturally everything we do is ultimately for others approval.

Self help is just action faking, same ballpark as virtue signalling - it's pretending you have your **** together in the hopes people will like you.

 

[Epicenter]

Women will only "come to you" in this context if you are already decent looking, socially savvy, charismatic, and are generally experienced/confident around women.






Dieting/food choices? Yes. Eating, in general, is obviously not self-development.

Most people who diet and exercise do it to seek the approval of others. Very few people do it because it for exclusively internal reasons (ie they enjoy it / they like feeling healthy).

Most of the things people do day to day would immediately cease if they were the last person on Earth, but that's normal. We are highly social creatures, so naturally everything we do is ultimately for others approval.

Self help is just action faking, same ballpark as virtue signalling - it's pretending you have your **** together in the hopes people will like you.

What about people use other people to reduce their pain and raise their pleasure. Same as people use tools to reduce their pain and raise their pleasure.

 

[eli77]

if i had to give advice to a younger me it would be surround yourself with good people .Seems to be lost on most young people today.

 

[Ricky]

if i had to give advice to a younger me it would be surround yourself with good people .Seems to be lost on most young people today.

This is good advice. I am about as loyal of a friend as one can be. I have this habit of not giving up on people. There are some people i should have given up on long ago. I try not to let them drag me down but its tough. It's always better to spend time with winners if you have that option.

 

[eli77]

This is good advice. I am about as loyal of a friend as one can be. I have this habit of not giving up on people. There are some people i should have given up on long ago. I try not to let them drag me down but its tough. It's always better to spend time with winners if you have that option.

Hey ricky dm me ive started a whatsapp group for guys like us who can bring something to the table