Seeking advice on pre-date text exchange

[The Duke]

I always see it like this... It's my treat, I am asking her if she is interested in accepting. It's a test for compliance, submissiveness , femininity, and interest level. I don't care to compromise, negotiate, or debate a woman. I do that all day long with men in my business.

If she can't play along, she isn't the girl for me. No big deal.

 

[All_Kindz_Of_Gainz]

I can see how I am pedestalising her with this thread. I.e. If I DGAF then the thread wouldn't exist.

My rationale for the thread is to hone game and interrogate an interesting tenet of game: frame; and her pushing for dinner on the first date. I also enjoy these discussions. I usually find them constructive.

However, to say that nothing will happen (i.e. the probability of us every smashing being zero) is manifestly bizarre and sloppy.

Nah that's BS excuses, I was you, been there. You're asking to say the "perfect" line so it doesn't come out as needy/controlling/creep, by the mere thinking like that, you already lost. Like I said, live and learn.

 

[Rainrain]

Say “scratch. I know a karaoke place that I enjoy. Let’s go there”

you don’t have to be funny all the time. Also, al these sexual innuendo advice for texts you are getting here is bad advice IMO especially if you haven’t kissed her. Be assertive and have a little bit of social intelligence.

Anyways, outcome independence. Don’t be scared of losing her. If you are you lost the battle before it even started.

 

[SmoothSmooth]

Good post but you need to be very careful about the part in red this isn't a behaviour or demeanour that can be easily faked and its VERY easy to tell when someone is trying to act " too cool for school "

I have a mate who uses this strategy relentlessly , just sitting in background not approaching anyone and barely uttering a word to anyone

He thinks its bulletproof but the amount of times I have been with girls and one of them has gone " what's wrong with your friend can he talk "

It almost always shatters his frame and he's left a jabbering mess having to qualify himself or risk being ignorant

it will occasionally work but very very rarely

I tend to side with a push / pull technique ....give her a bit then take it away act interested then disinterested

This is like catnip for women

You can’t fake it but I’m also from the school of thought that you can’t fake anything, when it comes to hot girls (8/10s and above), they will only go for a guy of equal or higher social value and there is NO way of faking it. Im in a venue with a relaxed, low energy vibe because I already have 5 other girls on my WhatsApp/DM’s that im entertaining, there is nothing the club can offer me that I don’t already have. Im also in shape and good looking, so I know that I stand out and that if a girl sees me and is interested, she will give me a sign

 

[FinallyAlpha]

Stick to your guns.

Live and learn.

Correct and correct, in fairness to you both.

Dinner was more-or-less sh1t. It was inexpensive.

She had just come from the gym and was sad about missing her 100kg squat PR. She was complain-y. She works in a gym, so has to be there before 6am to open it every day.

I fell into her trap, basically. A young, 'attractive' woman looking for some chump to buy her dinner. Then she sits there talking about how she has to be up early for work in the morning, negating any escalation.

At one point she even mentioned that she would consider taking testosterone to compete in a body building contest.

She was boring and hyper masculine.

 

[FinallyAlpha]

Single parent household. Would never let a man lead her. Gross.

No more first date dinners. It's a form of slow torture, unless you randomly get lucky and hit it off with the girl.

 

[The Duke]

Single parent household. Would never let a man lead her. Gross.

No more first date dinners. It's a form of slow torture, unless you randomly get lucky and hit it off with the girl.

It's all a learning experience. You always win if you learn something. Thats what gets you to the next level. Keep tweaking your game. Keep grinding.

 

[Pierce Manhammer]

And you miss 100% of the shots you do not take. Good job.

 

[RickPound]

Correct and correct, in fairness to you both.

Dinner was more-or-less sh1t. It was inexpensive.

She had just come from the gym and was sad about missing her 100kg squat PR. She was complain-y. She works in a gym, so has to be there before 6am to open it every day.

I fell into her trap, basically. A young, 'attractive' woman looking for some chump to buy her dinner. Then she sits there talking about how she has to be up early for work in the morning, negating any escalation.

At one point she even mentioned that she would consider taking testosterone to compete in a body building contest.

She was boring and hyper masculine.

She failed then, not you. She’s gonna have to step it up if she wants any of your time again. Your mindset should be that you’re screening her and you’re more than happy as a man to give women a chance on a first date, but if they don’t make it fun for you, they’re not getting a second one.

 

[Dr.Suave]

Hell, most of my first dates were dinner dates (but I actually enjoy going out to dinner). Imho, the problem was not so much dinner as a first date as it was lack of a better frame and lack of better vetting/screening.

No worries @FinallyAlpha . We all been there. We live and we learn.

 

[Akiles]

I’m a bit late to respond but, you’re definitely over analyzing this. You didn’t meet her off tinder you met her at a gym in person. Not only that but you specified at night (when most people eat dinner) so in a sense you kinda screwed yourself there lol. Just start hanging out more, lift together, and talk. It should all come naturally.