Seeking Advice After a Night Out Mixed Signals and Missed Opportunities

Tyler2024

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Hey everyone,

I had an interesting experience at a bar night and would love to get your thoughts and advice. Here’s what happened:

1. Initial Interaction: A girl complimented my shoes as she passed by with her two friends (another girl and a guy). We made eye contact, and she approached me smiling and started a conversation, asking about my shoes, tattoos, and name. However, I didn’t engage much with her directly and instead spoke briefly with her male friend.

2. Playful Banter: Later, I engaged in some playful teasing (negging) with her about her hair and why she blinked a lot. She responded playfully, mentioning my glasses. We laughed, but her friend pulled her away shortly after.

3. Brief Interactions: Throughout the evening, there were brief interactions. She sought my attention a few times, and we had short exchanges. At one point, she came back to ask if I was Christian and about my church, but her friend, saying she was drunk, interrupted us.

4. Missed Connection: Despite these interactions and her showing interest, I didn’t get her contact information. Later, as I was leaving a different bar, she spotted me from a restaurant and called out my name, waving goodbye.

I feel like there were many indications of interest from her, but I couldn’t capitalize on them. I ended up not isolating her for a more in-depth conversation or showing enough interest. Looking back, I feel like I might have missed a potential connection.

What do you guys think? Could I have approached this differently? Any advice or similar experiences would be greatly appreciated.
 

sosuave213

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"Hey X, I'm heading over to do Y, but you seem pretty cool to talk to. We should keep in touch, what's your phone number?" In step 1.

As the time progressed however in steps 2-3 you're a new guy stealing time from her friends who then got jealous.
 

SW15

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No excuse as to why I didn’t close I feel like I failed myself
You failed. Now, you have to consider why you failed.

It's rare to get approached by women. You also had multiple chances to close and you didn't. Most of the time, you won't get multiple chances.

You should have engaged her more in the initial interaction. Despite this, you did get playful banter later in the bar.

How's your aggressiveness overall with women? If you lack aggressiveness in general, that's often a sign of consuming too much pornography and masturbating too much. No porn and no masturbation is the best lifestyle practice for your overall aggressiveness and ability to close in mating interaction.
 

Manure Spherian

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BackInTheGame78

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All you needed to do was say something like

"Hey, I've gotta get running but I'd love to continue this some other time. What's the best way we can do that?"

Most likely she will offer you her number, or another way to contact you.

Alternatively you could replace that question with "What's your number?"

Always remember rejection is better than regret. Seize opportunities when they present themselves to you even if you aren't expecting them.

She did most of the work for you. At some point she was probably wondering "what the hell do I have to do to make it more obvious to this guy I am interested?"
 

Mertz09

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Tyler2024, I am twice your age but understand why you did (or did not do) what you did. I have had similar experiences in the past with women and wished I had been "ready" for the interaction. Not just in a club but it can happen almost anywhere. i.e. Grocery store, Bank, baseball game etc. Afterward I recognized a missed opportunity and kicked myself in the arse.
"Seize opportunities when they present themselves to you even if you aren't expecting them." this is so true. I recently have gotten "back in the Game" after a lengthy layoff. I have several plates spinning and am open to more. And now I plan to " Seize opportunities when they present themselves to you even if you aren't expecting them."
 

Mertz09

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Tyler. What kind of shoes were you wearing? I may have to get some. LOL
 

SW15

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Tyler2024, I am twice your age but understand why you did (or did not do) what you did. I have had similar experiences in the past with women and wished I had been "ready" for the interaction. Not just in a club but it can happen almost anywhere. i.e. Grocery store, Bank, baseball game etc. Afterward I recognized a missed opportunity and kicked myself in the arse.
"Seize opportunities when they present themselves to you even if you aren't expecting them." this is so true. I recently have gotten "back in the Game" after a lengthy layoff. I have several plates spinning and am open to more. And now I plan to " Seize opportunities when they present themselves to you even if you aren't expecting them."
Every guy has at least one missed opportunity lifetime. The best thing to do is to learn from them and to not miss opportunities in the future.

Tyler. What kind of shoes were you wearing? I may have to get some. LOL
Yes, good point. Perhaps those shoes hold more sway than a Rolex.

 
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