Hello Friend,

If this is your first visit to SoSuave, I would advise you to START HERE.

It will be the most efficient use of your time.

And you will learn everything you need to know to become a huge success with women.

Thank you for visiting and have a great day!

Saw A Woman Cold Approach A Guy Today

Bokanovsky

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 7, 2012
Messages
4,635
Reaction score
4,193
Jesus. Does that actually happen? That would shatter my entire sense of reality. I’ve literally never been approached and I look decent. What a world. Most men never get action, ever. Thankfully there’s cold approach and verbal game
Being cold approached on the street by a woman is extremely unlikely in North America, even if you are a very good looking guy. That’s why the dude probably thought that he was being set up to get robbed or scammed. And he was probably right.
 

DonJuanjr

Master Don Juan
Joined
Apr 6, 2021
Messages
3,439
Reaction score
2,395
Age
36
Insecure women are also (typically) more seeking of a man’s guidance & acceptance which causes a man to feel needed, a primal need that men have. So insecurity actually can have an element of attractiveness where men are concerned.
I agree that insecurity can be attractive. Though due to correlating it with innocence, not due to feeling needed. Innocence can be an aphrodisiac. That's one reason why I think men like virgins. One is less likely to be cuckholded, and have one's genes wiped from existence while having the greatest chance at pair bonding.
 
Last edited:

Bokanovsky

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 7, 2012
Messages
4,635
Reaction score
4,193
Bolded - that's a very broad generalization and may be your experience but not necessarily true for all women in all cases.

Again, only speaking for myself, I am always at least a little bit insecure when in the presence of a high value man I am VERY attracted to. A little bit "trembly" and nervous. I suppose I AM wanting his approval at least on some level, I want him to like me!
Being nervous around someone you find attractive is normal and something that most men and women experience on some level. Some hide it better than others but those who don’t feel it at all are likely psychopaths. This has nothing to do with being insecure though.
 

Zimbabwe

Banned
Joined
Aug 29, 2021
Messages
2,411
Reaction score
3,136
Age
27
shallowness, need for validation and a sense of entitlement.
That's from Narcissism, which is a mask people hide behind to cover up their insecurity. I know this because this is the problem I have.

I think extreme insecurity (need for constant reassurance, need for more time spent together, need for more contact in between dates) can be toxic to any dating experience or relationship. Emotionally draining and has the potential of turning anyone off.
Actually it's the opposite, narcissists use this tactic to lure people in. It's called Love Bombing and it's how they get someone hooked. I know this works since this is exactly what I used to do early on without even realising it. It's like a drug I got the girls addicted to my constant attention and when i took it away it made them desperate for more.
 

Francis

Don Juan
Joined
Sep 29, 2021
Messages
71
Reaction score
68
Age
45
Being cold approached on the street by a woman is extremely unlikely in North America, even if you are a very good looking guy. That’s why the dude probably thought that he was being set up to get robbed or scammed. And he was probably right.
That's a good point. Another thing is that because it is pretty rare, the guy will probably think she is easy and does it to everyone and has STIs.

And we're talking a straight cold approach with sexual / romantic interest by the woman on the street, with someone she doesn't know. This isn't the same as the girl showing some interest from a distance (usually by staring), and the guy approaches her, then her showing interest signals as they communicate and so on. Because that is very common and how almost every interaction goes when there's mutual interest. There's a lot of back and forth. And in most cases the guy and girl already know each other to some degree, so it's not a big deal if the girl goes up to him and starts flirting or whatever.
 

metalwater

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 23, 2019
Messages
1,648
Reaction score
1,351
Location
random
I feel like women have some sort of ESP, they somehow know a guy is dating someone and they want them specifically.
agree, but it only seems to activate at very close range. from a distance no.
 

lost_blackbird

Master Don Juan
Joined
Sep 27, 2020
Messages
892
Reaction score
824
Location
South West UK
I am a bit of an anomaly though, not typical of most women so I get it.
You're not like all the other girls? Never heard that one before.... :rolleyes:
 

metalwater

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 23, 2019
Messages
1,648
Reaction score
1,351
Location
random
As to the balanced approach? Yes. This is an acceptable hybrid that still allows the man to pursue or show interest. In fact my BF and I met this way. I had noticed him by himself at the end of the bar in a packed venue one Saturday night. I needed to get a glass of wine & magically the only spot to get a place along the bar to order a drink was next to him. As I was ordering I turned to him, smiled, and said “How’s your night going?” From there he picked up the conversation, asked for my number, texted & asked me out the next morning…and led from there. We’ve been dating since. He’s not one to stride across a venue to introduce himself. But it’s cute to hear him tell the story about how we met. He saw me trying to figure out where to go to get a drink & he cleared the spot for me. He had seen me when I walked in and assumed I was married to one of the guys in my entourage.
I would consider this an approach. Had you only sat in that location and nothing said from you, it is still an approach. It's not balanced, you moved in, and initiated, good job.

You continue to describe him as "cute". cute and admiration are not close together. I would expect a male player to describe the latest plate as cute.
 

Grounded eagle

Master Don Juan
Joined
Nov 10, 2020
Messages
564
Reaction score
639
Age
25
There was a really interesting experience today, Saw a woman who looked a lot like Lisa Ann but way less Busty cold approach a tall black guy. She said "hi you look interesting" and they had a brief chat near the traffic light. It sounded like she was leading the conversation and she then said "would you like to go and have lunch" to which he replied with "sorry I'm not interested'. It seemed like a polite rejection but she clearly took it the wrong way and her body language became more hostile. She answered with a loud "WHY?". They argued a bit until she called him "Gay" and angrly stormed off.

The whole thing was really interesting to witness, It was the first time I saw a woman cold approach a guy. Has anyone else seen this or had a woman cold approach you?
Oh yeah,I’ve been approached quite a bit.Everything from 4s to 8s.The ones on the lower end were a lot more direct,the means of approach got a lot more covert the higher up the scale they went.Save for one 8,who was a vamp,the more attractive ones dropped IOIs or used their friends.A lot of these were in my blue pilled days though,so I fumbled the ball quite often lol.
 

SargeMaximus

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 14, 2020
Messages
3,956
Reaction score
2,009
Age
36
This post, along with your insistence on paying for dates and that a man who doesnt "isnt a real man" or whatever, has to be some of the worst "advice" ive seen recently in this forum.
Agreed. A guy who needs to prove he’s a man isn’t one.

Women can approach me all day long I love it when they do
 

PRW63

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 5, 2020
Messages
639
Reaction score
523
Age
61
Location
Illinois within driving distance of St Louis, Mo
What if the woman seen the guy and approached before he seen her?
There is a difference between her walking up and introducing herself and letting him know she exists...--vs-- asking the guy out and "being the man" in the situation. I always tell woman to put themselves in the orbit of the men they are interested in,...then it is up to the guy to respond from that point. There is the feminine role, and the masculine role. Tell the kids to "color within the lines".
 

PRW63

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 5, 2020
Messages
639
Reaction score
523
Age
61
Location
Illinois within driving distance of St Louis, Mo
I agree, great insight.

Bolded - this is what I do, A LOT. I won't walk up to him necessarily but I will take advantage of an opportunity (like at an event or group setting) and begin chatting, and then wait for him to initiate exchanging phone numbers and/or asking me out.

It actually comes very naturally to me, when the situation is right.

It happened to me last week in fact, within one hour. Two different men. Just a natural and organic conversation that led to the exchange of numbers and a date being made with one. The other man I wasn't that interested in so took a pass.
Yes. Exactly. You are covering the feminine role, following feminine nature,...then allowing him to follow his nature and handle the masculine role.
 

PRW63

Master Don Juan
Joined
Feb 5, 2020
Messages
639
Reaction score
523
Age
61
Location
Illinois within driving distance of St Louis, Mo
This post, along with your insistence on paying for dates and that a man who doesnt "isnt a real man" or whatever, has to be some of the worst "advice" ive seen recently in this forum.
Dude, you don't get it because of the culture you live in,...sorry,...but Sweden leads the world on having the intersexual dynamics between men and women totally screwed up. In Sweden the women ARE the men,...and the men ARE the women. Totally feminist dominated and "woke".
 

Bokanovsky

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 7, 2012
Messages
4,635
Reaction score
4,193
Some of you guys seem to be really insecure about the whole "being a man" thing. If an attractive woman asks you out, why would you possibly be displeased? It's not like she's asking you to bend over while she's adjusting her strap-on. Do you think that hollywood celebs, professional athletes and other "high value" men get weirded out when attractive women throw themselves at them? I rather doubt it.
 

BeExcellent

Master Don Juan
Joined
Dec 16, 2015
Messages
4,614
Reaction score
6,452
Age
55
I would consider this an approach. Had you only sat in that location and nothing said from you, it is still an approach. It's not balanced, you moved in, and initiated, good job.

You continue to describe him as "cute". cute and admiration are not close together. I would expect a male player to describe the latest plate as cute.
He is cute. He is sexy. He is hot. He is handsome AF. He is slightly sly, very silly and he’s sweet. All the above. But I know him now.

When I first saw him I thought “He’s cute” but I didn’t think much else about it. But I needed a refill on my drink and the spot next to him was (purposely by his account) clear of people, so that was the logical place to get a drink order to the bartender. I asked him how his night was going more out of my normal social modus operandi and when he engaged the conversation I realized he liked me.

I was there with a group of friends including someone else I had been seeing recently but who was completely sideways that night (behavior I was already weary of dealing with)…and that dude was on such thin ice that I had told him earlier the same evening I wasn’t going to deal with it anymore…so of course he doubled down…and went to go flirt outrageously with other women. I thought “Cool. I’ll chat with this guy. He’s interesting…”
 

2Rocky

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 13, 2016
Messages
2,540
Reaction score
2,835
Age
49
He is cute. He is sexy. He is hot. He is handsome AF. He is slightly sly, very silly and he’s sweet. All the above. But I know him now.

When I first saw him I thought “He’s cute” but I didn’t think much else about it. But I needed a refill on my drink and the spot next to him was (purposely by his account) clear of people, so that was the logical place to get a drink order to the bartender. I asked him how his night was going more out of my normal social modus operandi and when he engaged the conversation I realized he liked me.

I was there with a group of friends including someone else I had been seeing recently but who was completely sideways that night (behavior I was already weary of dealing with)…and that dude was on such thin ice that I had told him earlier the same evening I wasn’t going to deal with it anymore…so of course he doubled down…and went to go flirt outrageously with other women. I thought “Cool. I’ll chat with this guy. He’s interesting…”
As a guy, I like to be opened by women indirectly. Mainly because I get turned on by confident women. The whole meek, coy, shy girl act frustrates me to no end. In feeling that way I have to demonstrate that I am a sociable person by initiating conversations with other people, in order to give the approachable vibe, and stimulate the competitive spirit in those women to act on their attraction.

So many of these guys are tilting at windmills when it comes to their poor luck with women.
 

joesknows

Banned
Joined
Oct 13, 2021
Messages
63
Reaction score
52
Being cold approached on the street by a woman is extremely unlikely in North America, even if you are a very good looking guy. That’s why the dude probably thought that he was being set up to get robbed or scammed. And he was probably right.
Especially in the way described in the scenario. Even if he wasn't being setup, it was a high enough of a probability for him to decline immediately.

Women approaching men isn't a rare scenario, but the vast majority of these approaches IME take place on weekends, particularly evenings, in closed party venues, where music and alcohol are flowing.

Even so, most men are rarely if ever approached.
 
Last edited:
Top