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Saw A Woman Cold Approach A Guy Today

catsmeow

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That's from Narcissism, which is a mask people hide behind to cover up their insecurity. I know this because this is the problem I have.



Actually it's the opposite, narcissists use this tactic to lure people in. It's called Love Bombing and it's how they get someone hooked. I know this works since this is exactly what I used to do early on without even realising it. It's like a drug I got the girls addicted to my constant attention and when i took it away it made them desperate for more.
I believe you and I KNOW certain women respond to it. Perhaps even most. But I never did. Without even knowing what it was, it seemed so contrived and phony to me. In fact, I got up and excused myself from dinner with a man (first date) because of how he was attempting to love bomb me.

In the beginning stages, all that attention turns me off. I find it needy if not disingenuous. The guy doesn't even know me for goodness sakes, and he's coming on like that? No thank you, not for me. It's phony. I prefer REAL.

I also prefer a certain amount of space in my dating experiences (and relationships), distance. I sort of like wondering about a man and missing him.

I am a bit of an anomaly though, not typical of most women so I get it.
 

metalwater

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I feel like women have some sort of ESP, they somehow know a guy is dating someone and they want them specifically.
agree, but it only seems to activate at very close range. from a distance no.
 

lost_blackbird

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I am a bit of an anomaly though, not typical of most women so I get it.
You're not like all the other girls? Never heard that one before.... :rolleyes:
 

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metalwater

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As to the balanced approach? Yes. This is an acceptable hybrid that still allows the man to pursue or show interest. In fact my BF and I met this way. I had noticed him by himself at the end of the bar in a packed venue one Saturday night. I needed to get a glass of wine & magically the only spot to get a place along the bar to order a drink was next to him. As I was ordering I turned to him, smiled, and said “How’s your night going?” From there he picked up the conversation, asked for my number, texted & asked me out the next morning…and led from there. We’ve been dating since. He’s not one to stride across a venue to introduce himself. But it’s cute to hear him tell the story about how we met. He saw me trying to figure out where to go to get a drink & he cleared the spot for me. He had seen me when I walked in and assumed I was married to one of the guys in my entourage.
I would consider this an approach. Had you only sat in that location and nothing said from you, it is still an approach. It's not balanced, you moved in, and initiated, good job.

You continue to describe him as "cute". cute and admiration are not close together. I would expect a male player to describe the latest plate as cute.
 

Grounded eagle

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There was a really interesting experience today, Saw a woman who looked a lot like Lisa Ann but way less Busty cold approach a tall black guy. She said "hi you look interesting" and they had a brief chat near the traffic light. It sounded like she was leading the conversation and she then said "would you like to go and have lunch" to which he replied with "sorry I'm not interested'. It seemed like a polite rejection but she clearly took it the wrong way and her body language became more hostile. She answered with a loud "WHY?". They argued a bit until she called him "Gay" and angrly stormed off.

The whole thing was really interesting to witness, It was the first time I saw a woman cold approach a guy. Has anyone else seen this or had a woman cold approach you?
Oh yeah,I’ve been approached quite a bit.Everything from 4s to 8s.The ones on the lower end were a lot more direct,the means of approach got a lot more covert the higher up the scale they went.Save for one 8,who was a vamp,the more attractive ones dropped IOIs or used their friends.A lot of these were in my blue pilled days though,so I fumbled the ball quite often lol.
 

SargeMaximus

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This post, along with your insistence on paying for dates and that a man who doesnt "isnt a real man" or whatever, has to be some of the worst "advice" ive seen recently in this forum.
Agreed. A guy who needs to prove he’s a man isn’t one.

Women can approach me all day long I love it when they do
 

catsmeow

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You're not like all the other girls? Never heard that one before.... :rolleyes:
Lol, well tbh I never considered myself to be all that different; I am only repeating what the men I've dated and been involved with have told me.

100% truth. Dating back since high school!

But fair enough you guys don't know me, you only have my posts to go from which much of the time are taken with a grain of salt.

Which is fine, I'm not offended.

However, as attested to here, most women fall for love bombing. Most women crave attention. They practically live for it and when taken away, things can get pretty ugly. I've seen it with my friends.

I enjoy attention too but I don't crave it. I also enjoy distance as again I like wondering about and missing him. It's a balance of both that keeps me hooked.

So I'm different that regard.

If you read my posts, you will see I own my shyt, good or bad. Positive, negative.

I post based on my own experiences and have no reason to lie. I have nothing to prove here or anywhere.
 
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PRW63

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What if the woman seen the guy and approached before he seen her?
There is a difference between her walking up and introducing herself and letting him know she exists...--vs-- asking the guy out and "being the man" in the situation. I always tell woman to put themselves in the orbit of the men they are interested in,...then it is up to the guy to respond from that point. There is the feminine role, and the masculine role. Tell the kids to "color within the lines".
 

PRW63

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I agree, great insight.

Bolded - this is what I do, A LOT. I won't walk up to him necessarily but I will take advantage of an opportunity (like at an event or group setting) and begin chatting, and then wait for him to initiate exchanging phone numbers and/or asking me out.

It actually comes very naturally to me, when the situation is right.

It happened to me last week in fact, within one hour. Two different men. Just a natural and organic conversation that led to the exchange of numbers and a date being made with one. The other man I wasn't that interested in so took a pass.
Yes. Exactly. You are covering the feminine role, following feminine nature,...then allowing him to follow his nature and handle the masculine role.
 

PRW63

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This post, along with your insistence on paying for dates and that a man who doesnt "isnt a real man" or whatever, has to be some of the worst "advice" ive seen recently in this forum.
Dude, you don't get it because of the culture you live in,...sorry,...but Sweden leads the world on having the intersexual dynamics between men and women totally screwed up. In Sweden the women ARE the men,...and the men ARE the women. Totally feminist dominated and "woke".
 

Bokanovsky

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Some of you guys seem to be really insecure about the whole "being a man" thing. If an attractive woman asks you out, why would you possibly be displeased? It's not like she's asking you to bend over while she's adjusting her strap-on. Do you think that hollywood celebs, professional athletes and other "high value" men get weirded out when attractive women throw themselves at them? I rather doubt it.
 

BeExcellent

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I would consider this an approach. Had you only sat in that location and nothing said from you, it is still an approach. It's not balanced, you moved in, and initiated, good job.

You continue to describe him as "cute". cute and admiration are not close together. I would expect a male player to describe the latest plate as cute.
He is cute. He is sexy. He is hot. He is handsome AF. He is slightly sly, very silly and he’s sweet. All the above. But I know him now.

When I first saw him I thought “He’s cute” but I didn’t think much else about it. But I needed a refill on my drink and the spot next to him was (purposely by his account) clear of people, so that was the logical place to get a drink order to the bartender. I asked him how his night was going more out of my normal social modus operandi and when he engaged the conversation I realized he liked me.

I was there with a group of friends including someone else I had been seeing recently but who was completely sideways that night (behavior I was already weary of dealing with)…and that dude was on such thin ice that I had told him earlier the same evening I wasn’t going to deal with it anymore…so of course he doubled down…and went to go flirt outrageously with other women. I thought “Cool. I’ll chat with this guy. He’s interesting…”
 

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2Rocky

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He is cute. He is sexy. He is hot. He is handsome AF. He is slightly sly, very silly and he’s sweet. All the above. But I know him now.

When I first saw him I thought “He’s cute” but I didn’t think much else about it. But I needed a refill on my drink and the spot next to him was (purposely by his account) clear of people, so that was the logical place to get a drink order to the bartender. I asked him how his night was going more out of my normal social modus operandi and when he engaged the conversation I realized he liked me.

I was there with a group of friends including someone else I had been seeing recently but who was completely sideways that night (behavior I was already weary of dealing with)…and that dude was on such thin ice that I had told him earlier the same evening I wasn’t going to deal with it anymore…so of course he doubled down…and went to go flirt outrageously with other women. I thought “Cool. I’ll chat with this guy. He’s interesting…”
As a guy, I like to be opened by women indirectly. Mainly because I get turned on by confident women. The whole meek, coy, shy girl act frustrates me to no end. In feeling that way I have to demonstrate that I am a sociable person by initiating conversations with other people, in order to give the approachable vibe, and stimulate the competitive spirit in those women to act on their attraction.

So many of these guys are tilting at windmills when it comes to their poor luck with women.
 

joesknows

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Being cold approached on the street by a woman is extremely unlikely in North America, even if you are a very good looking guy. That’s why the dude probably thought that he was being set up to get robbed or scammed. And he was probably right.
Especially in the way described in the scenario. Even if he wasn't being setup, it was a high enough of a probability for him to decline immediately.

Women approaching men isn't a rare scenario, but the vast majority of these approaches IME take place on weekends, particularly evenings, in closed party venues, where music and alcohol are flowing.

Even so, most men are rarely if ever approached.
 
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PRW63

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I was there with a group of friends including someone else I had been seeing recently but who was completely sideways that night (behavior I was already weary of dealing with)…and that dude was on such thin ice that I had told him earlier the same evening I wasn’t going to deal with it anymore…so of course he doubled down…and went to go flirt outrageously with other women. I thought “Cool. I’ll chat with this guy. He’s interesting…”
That is why I always tell guys to never ask if she has a BF. It is weak, timid. You never know if the so-called BF has one foot out the door already and you just might the excuse she is looking for. But if you ask,...she has to say, "Yea, he's right over there",.....awkward,.... and you are now out of the game. What happens between her and a guy she was seeing five minutes ago is between them,...none of your business. Your job is to give her an opportunity and up to her to decide if she wants to take it.
 
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BeExcellent

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That is why I always tell guys to never ask if she has a BF. It is weak, timid. You never know if the so-called BF has one foot out the door already and you just might the excuse she is looking for. But if you ask,...she has to say, "Yea, he's right over there",.....awkward,.... and you are now out of the game. What happens between her and a guy she was seeing five minutes ago is between them,...none of your business. You job is to give her an opportunity and up to her to decide if she wants to take it.
He did tell me he thought I must be married. He was delighted to discover I was not. :)
 

DonJuanjr

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There is a difference between her walking up and introducing herself and letting him know she exists...--vs-- asking the guy out and "being the man" in the situation.
What you originally wrote a retort to, was zimbabwe asking about if a female approached. So that's why I posed the question. Now you're talking about if a female does the asking out. Personally, I wouldn't mind if a female does either. If she tries to take on a masculine role throughout our interaction, I'll just kick her to the curb.
 
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