Hey everyone, male (22) 6'3, recently dropped 138lbs in 9 months. Been going to a club I use to frequent but stopped attending as the women there just weren't attracted (can't blame 'em). Went back in this Friday with a buddy of mine, same environment, same routine women. But it was different, I literally walked in and got chat up within my first 5 steps inside. I was getting ogled, and "eye-****ed". I guess I enjoyed being spotlight, but I keep getting this gut-wrenching feeling of resentment towards the women and especially of my self. Telling myself (from my preconditioned "fat" phase) "I don't deserve this, "why won't they look at other men", "stop staring at me". Can anyone articulate how they were able to transition from being Idk fat or unattractive, to moderatley better and how to better handle the 'NEW found attention'?
"The Kiss of Death Mistake"
You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Same Club, Different weight.
- Thread starter boggob15
- Start date
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Serenity
Moderator
You sure it's that and not a hidden resentment over the implication of this is that all they cared about was your look and nothing else, as that's the only difference?
I never really struggled with physical attractiveness, other than bad hair and clothes style so I couldn't tell you. I guess you just have to stop questioning it, stop resisting it and just roll with it. Don't try figuring out why and just enjoy that this works, you probably won't reach any helpful conclusions anyways.