Hey everyone, male (22) 6'3, recently dropped 138lbs in 9 months. Been going to a club I use to frequent but stopped attending as the women there just weren't attracted (can't blame 'em). Went back in this Friday with a buddy of mine, same environment, same routine women. But it was different, I literally walked in and got chat up within my first 5 steps inside. I was getting ogled, and "eye-****ed". I guess I enjoyed being spotlight, but I keep getting this gut-wrenching feeling of resentment towards the women and especially of my self. Telling myself (from my preconditioned "fat" phase) "I don't deserve this, "why won't they look at other men", "stop staring at me". Can anyone articulate how they were able to transition from being Idk fat or unattractive, to moderatley better and how to better handle the 'NEW found attention'?
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Same Club, Different weight.
- Thread starter boggob15
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Serenity
Moderator
You sure it's that and not a hidden resentment over the implication of this is that all they cared about was your look and nothing else, as that's the only difference?
I never really struggled with physical attractiveness, other than bad hair and clothes style so I couldn't tell you. I guess you just have to stop questioning it, stop resisting it and just roll with it. Don't try figuring out why and just enjoy that this works, you probably won't reach any helpful conclusions anyways.