"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Sad News About Our Friend @SW15

Sega Genesis

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I am still trying to process this but
sadly @SW15 passed away on October 26th. :(

He had a seizure while swimming. He was a great contributer here and is missed.

Hearts and prayers to his family and loved ones.

As the message advising this news stated:

"You just never know. Tomorrow is never guaranteed. Go out and live life."

RIP
 
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"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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pipeman84

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How do you know this?
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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Sega Genesis

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Where was SW 15 from and how old was he?
I want to say Phoenix? But not 100% sure. Early 40s.

I've been re-reading some of his posts. For some reason, they seem to have more value now that he's gone.

We had some really nice exchanges, the Christie Brinkley and Billy Joel threads and some others.

This is just the saddest news, still processing it. He was way too young...
 
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Isildur1

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I want to say Phoenix? But not 100% sure. Early 40s.

I've been re-reading some of his posts. For some reason, they seem to have more value now that he's gone.

We had some really nice exchanges, the Christie Brinkley and Billy Joel threads and some others.

This is just the saddest news, still processing it. He was way too young...
damn rest in peace

he was friendly kind and caring judging by his posts on here
 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Ricky

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Damn sorry to hear life is precious
Still struggling with the loss of one of my mentors earlier this week
 

Travel memoir21

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holy crap…rest in peace bro…the good ones die way too soon. I had a lot friendly banters with that dude over the years, I hope he’s in a better place now, he seemed like a good dude, smart and meant well out here. I think the moderators should put up one of his memorable posts in The DJ Bible or in the archives or something.
 

oOh Nasty

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Never spoke to him directly, but we definitely have given reactions to eachothers' posts during the years.

Rest in Peace, brother.
 

nicksaiz65

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holy crap…rest in peace bro…the good ones die way too soon. I had a lot friendly banters with that dude over the years, I hope he’s in a better place now, he seemed like a good dude, smart and meant well out here. I think the moderators should put up one of his memorable posts in The DJ Bible or in the archives or something.
That’s a great idea. We chatted back & forth for years. Always a joy to talk to & I enjoyed his perspectives on things.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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characternote

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Damn. That hit's hard. We were DMing each other on what seems to be his last day on here ;(
Smart dude. One of the few remaining posters who posts I was interested in reading, He always added meat to the bone in regards to his opinions and as @LTG71 says, there tended to be some depth to his posts that often added a perspective or explanation that i'd not considered.
RIP
 

Sega Genesis

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We were DMing each other on what seems to be his last day on here ;(
I misspoke in my OP. The message was sent on October 26th but apparently he died a month prior, not too long after his last post here.

>>I wanted to let you know in case someone asked, but SW15 died about a month ago. He was doing his regular mile swim and had a seizure. They found him in the pool at his apartment complex.<<

I cannot get this image of him in the pool out of my head!

It's hard. I had just lost another friend suddenly not too long ago after he developed a minor infection in his foot that became septic and killed him.

Makes you realize just how precious life is... and how short! For some shorter than others. Places a new perspective on things.

I also wonder if the seizure was caused by a precondition that might have been caught through a blood test or scan. This recently happened to me and I'm dealing with it. Not a seizure but another health issue and I'm gonna be ok because it was caught early.

I know in the US our healthcare system s*cks but please please get checked annually if.possible.

I hate to sound morbid but it might save your life!
 

characternote

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I also wonder if the seizure was caused by a precondition
there was a thread some time back from memory where people were wishing him well after some health issues. Possibly related?

Yeah, it's always very sobering when someone dies, especially when quite young. Even if you don't 'know' them. A while back, some random Z list celeb here in the UK died (young, good looking guy from reality TV) and his death randomly inspired me to go travelling around Europe for a bit. I pretty much read the story, thought about it for a few mins, and then started looking for hostels! Not sure why his death as opposed to someone elses made me suddenly book it, but I sometimes think about it. Sometimes, certain conditions just seem to be in place to 'snap us into reality' and make us think of our own mortality
 

Sega Genesis

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there was a thread some time back from memory where people were wishing him well after some health issues. Possibly related?
Now that you mention it, I recall that thread too.

I'm glad I created this thread so we can talk about it among those who knew him. It does help.
 
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"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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