You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.
I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.
Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules. Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.
You don't blame her, but I do. Exams are starting next week? so she can stay over an extra hour and screw around, no? Unless she's the valedictorian at MIT, her finals are not a 24-hour concern a week beforehand.phoenixriver said:J has already gotten back in touch with me, saying this Saturday won't be anything more than just salsa and dinner. We both have Finals exams starting next week, so I don't blame her.
This is the kind of forum jargon that sounds good and all, but is absolutely useless.Charm said:What do you mean "if it doesnt work out well?". Being a DJ is about making your own destiny. Get that thru your head. Your fantasy becomes reality when you let the two collide.
phoenixriver said:For the time being, I'm going to continue with the road trip plan, because that's a little too far developed to break off. (And frankly it sounds like it'll be good fun, girls or no girls - I mean come on - six days in Orlando in the midwinter? Can't miss!)
J has already gotten back in touch with me, saying this Saturday won't be anything more than just salsa and dinner. We both have Finals exams starting next week, so I don't blame her.
I think I may have a different time frame from the rest of you guys. I'm a first year law school student, and if you know anything about law school, first year's generally the worst time possible to even think about a new relationship. I wouldn't even normally consider it, except this lady was dropped in my lap by friends. If it doesn't work out with her, well - too bad, but I was prepared to go the whole first year without any girl anyway.
Anyhow, exams are looming and so I won't take up more of your time. Thanks for the input - you've all been great!
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.