"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Road trip with 7 girls, and how not to mess it up
- Thread starter phoenixriver
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
You don't blame her, but I do. Exams are starting next week? so she can stay over an extra hour and screw around, no? Unless she's the valedictorian at MIT, her finals are not a 24-hour concern a week beforehand.phoenixriver said:
Scrumtulescence
Master Don Juan
This is the kind of forum jargon that sounds good and all, but is absolutely useless.Charm said:
MacAvoy
Banned
phoenixriver said:
Translation: I am an AFC and will begin to rationalize the reasons why I am going to fail ahead of time so that I won't be disappointed when I do fail.
You need to change your mindset my friend. You need to take charge of your life. You control your destiny. Don't accept less than what you want. You've done it in the rest of your life, do it in your social life. You are talented and smart, you've gotten into law school which is no small feat.
Set your standards for the rest of your life at the same bar. Don't set yourself up for failure because right now that is what your doing with this mindset.
phoenixriver
Don Juan
- Joined
- Dec 3, 2006
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This is the OP posting again. Road trip is just a few days away and this is the progress report.
On Friday, my exams were over. On Saturday, met up with my girl and did two non-seduction-related things in downtown. Afterwards, back to my place where I made her a ceviche lunch and we curled on my sofa watching a Johnny Depp romantic comedy featuring mentally ill people. She loved it - and thus she's my kinda girl! :yes:
Got kisses in, and moved my hands downward, no resistance at all. Asked her nonchalantly about her evening plans; found she wanted salsa dancing. I said she was welcome to stay the night afterwards and she smiled and said "I was hoping you'd say that!"
Salsa came and went in a largely incoherent blur. Back at my place, I put on some Dead Can Dance music and she came to bed. She was the first totally shaven woman I'd ever been with, and I have to admit - it does make quite a difference for palatability. She loved the taste too when I came back up to kiss her.
In the morning she woke me up by going down on me (also the first time that a girl had ever taken that sort of initiative for me) and we knocked a few more slats out of my bed together. On the way downstairs for breakfast my landlord passed me on the stairs and gave me a look of grudging approval, although he did make a smart-ass remark about earplugs.
She invited me to her place for Xmas eve midnight dinner, where her family and friends were meeting up. This made me feel a little leery. After a while I called her up and took her up on it. I'm glad I did - they had a good gathering of her family and just random friends from elsewhere. She introduced me as her "salsa partner" and I think her parents were fine with that. (Her father's a former pilot and commander from another nation's air force - got to engage him in drunken talk about fighter jets, and quote idioms from French and German too.)
At one point in the evening when nobody was looking she slipped her hand under the table. Perhaps wisely, it didn't go further than that.
We're meeting up again the day before the road trip for salsa, and she's probably going to stay overnight just for the logistics (we leave at about 6 a.m. for a 20 hour drive...). I don't think there's going to be any doubts about what the sleeping arrangements will be for her and me. I've contacted a couple of male friends in the destination city, and they're very happy to accompany us and take up the slack on the other girls. (Although two single guys may have their hands full with five single girls...)
So all in all, I think things worked themselves out all right. Obviously I'm not a DJ like other posters here, but I'm definitely with this girl now and we dig each other. Her family's cool and low-maintenance.
And in addition to everything else, we do make for a sleek couple on the salsa floor.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
MacAvoy
Banned
Have a blast on the trip and great idea about getting the guys ready. They'll appreciate it and so will the girls.