Reviving a flagging relationship

[mrgoodstuff]

Yep, GlassJoe is correct. If a woman wants to be with you, she will make it clear. If she keeps on dodging you or making up excuses, NC the bytch. You are wasting your time.



That's now illegal in many states w/o a court order

As long as you don't reveal the Intel you should be safe.

 

[R.U.G.]

As long as you don't reveal the Intel you should be safe.

She scans her phone or brings it to AT&T. Verizon, T-Mobile and finds that installed on her phone, that is an illegal wire tap and invasion of privacy and/or a civil rights violation. Just check the news. A VAR is one thing, tapping or tracking a phone, completely different.

 

[Billtx49]

As long as you don't reveal the Intel you should be safe.

Until she finds the spy app you surreptitiously installed on her phone…
On that day your world can turn to crap depending on her mood.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

She scans her phone or brings it to AT&T. Verizon, T-Mobile and finds that installed on her phone, that is an illegal wire tap and invasion of privacy and/or a civil rights violation. Just check the news. A VAR is one thing, tapping or tracking a phone, completely different.

Install and remove it as soon as you need. A VAR will give you a bunch of Intel in a week. You'll hear what you need. Cheaters start up those convos as soon as they drive off.

 

[Billtx49]

Install and remove it as soon as you need. A VAR will give you a bunch of Intel in a week. You'll hear what you need. Cheaters start up those convos as soon as they drive off.

If a man is that certain that his girl might be cheating then it’s time to dump her vs. illegal activity.
Cheating is sneaky, phone tapping is sneaky. If you get to that point, you are now down to her level.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

If a man is that certain that his girl might be cheating then it’s time to dump her vs. illegal activity.
Cheating is sneaky, phone tapping is sneaky. If you get to that point, you are now down at her level.

Just verifying. You do it once and sleep well. If she's two faced you can still plate her and deal with a long handle spoon.

 

[upcoming_DJ]

Thanks everyone for some more insight and great advice!!

@BeExcellent , thanks as well for your explanation - I've read about this, and understand that the "honeymoon" period ends and we begin to truly see someone for who they are.

To your questions;
1. She is not exactly Latina - she is Belizean (we are from the Caribbean) - and as I've said before, this young lady was brought up by a single mother from the age of 7 without strong boundaries (she's been upfront about that).
2. Yes, I grew up in the machismo latin culture where my dad was the ruler of the house but he was somewhat fair with my mom. I took a lot of his traits (being an alpha-provider) sticking to his purpose and generally getting what he wants (including women).

as I've said before - my frame (at least) what I believe it to be has been solid, non-needy and more alpha than beta. Once in a while, I would let her taste some beta, as being too alpha too much of the time will also drive her away being a cold prick. She has done around 90% of the pursuing since we started dating (most of the communication we have has been started by her) apart from that, I am on my purpose, have a social life, and very well known in my country for what I do in my industry. In my country I also have very strong preselection but again that's because I'm on my purpose and I live a rewarding lifestyle. Cannot be my physique. I am 6'2 and a very handsome man (as told my most women) but I am over weight and I've been cognizant of this fact. Never the less, I do feel desired and she (or any of my other exes and plates) has not withheld sex from me unless I fell in the trap of neediness and control (I use to do it a lot before).

in terms of SMV - she is an attractive girl! tall (5'10), narrow hips, nice butt, face a 7, body 8. However, my personality and charisma shines through whenever she's with me, and she always gets hit with preselection from other women. Also, many times she's with me, my phone rings and some beautiful women appear on my phone and she sometimes sees them (I never answer).

I have communicated to this girl directly and indirectly that I am ready and happy to walk away without looking back.

Something that jumped at me was when we were in Mexico and I got pissed about her walking leaving me, I brought it up to her and told her that her attitude is telling and that I am not happy with it, but I am also fine and that the door is there. She said to me "well babe, do what you feel in your heart and is best for you" - as in indirectly telling me, well break up with me if you want! (women talk for, get this over with and take the pressure off of me?) or is that me over analyzing?

in terms of investment - I don't have a lot invested emotionally as I've kept myself guarded. I do have money invested of course (however not gifts or material things) but mostly on trips and vacations and nights out, dinners, etc. al

She recently introduced me to her mom, very unexpectedly one night I picked her up at her home. She asked me to come inside her home (which I've never done before) and her mom was there - without preparation either. Her mom told me it's the first time her daughter brought someone to her house to introduce.

She also just got back from a trip to Miami with her sister and her husband/family and brought me back some goodies.

it confuses me that she would also spend all this money to go on this trip with me, knowing we would spend more time together, and not knowing how it will go. If she had no interest or was thinking about splitting up, wouldn't she just end things or decide to cancel the trip for herself without warning?

another thing I find interesting is that she leaves her phone openly around, however has a passcode on it and has NOTIFICATIONS TURNED OFF. So even if I hear a message comes in, I cannot see who it is. On the other hand, I have off message previews but you can see who messaged me. This is one of the reasons I feel that she may be hiding something.

she is also a heavy user of snapchat. I remember having snapchat and that was when I was into the whole nude game. That's what women use snapchat for - am I not correct?

 

[greatsnake]

Move on and start spinning plates. You will have a different perspective once you get different puzsy.

 

[marmel75]

You don't run around after them. You glance once to rest your worries and don't look again. So many folks are two face.

I never worry about it, her actions will almost always tell me what I need to know.

 

[RangerMIke]

Great thread with lots of good advice nothing to add except in the beginning it's mostly hormones and physical attraction, as you date one or the other discovers that that want something else the other can't provide. I had a date with a woman last night that came of a long relationship with a dude (6 years) and it was only after they lived together for the last year did she figure out he wasn't meeting her needs. Not sure if her needs changed (which I suspect is likely... she's about to turn 30 which is a significant event for chicks) realizing this guy was not going to be good LTR material... and it ended.... by her of course, which is how things usually go.

Familiarity breeds contempt, and the more you get to know someone, the more the little things they do you don't like becomes not so little anymore. I have to admit that this happens to me frequently, it's not that people change that much... it's that you notice the things you don't like more. I think that is one of the reasons why I move so quickly away from women, because I realize this about myself and force myself to rationally evaluate anything I don't like early on, even though in the early stages of dating the little things don't bother you, I realize that down the road these little minnows will turn into whales in a few months.

For example: I have friend that was telling me a could of weeks ago his chick wasn't texting him as much as she used to and it was bothering him. So I had him take out his phone and look at her texts to him over the last 3 months. As far back as he could go, she was texting him on average once a day... and it had ALWAYS been about once a day.... He never liked liked that, but he was only NOTICING this when things got settled.

I'm not saying ignore red flags and I'm not suggesting the the OP's chick hasn't changed behavior, but it's advice to anyone that is trying to make an LTR work to really evaluate what is happening and make sure it's not just your relationship moving out of the initial hormonal stage.

 

[upcoming_DJ]

hey guys!

so - I've been monitoring WhatsApp a little closer.

it's scarily accurate the times when he's active and she's active. I've realized some patterns:

• when he's active a lot - he's active a lot
• when he's inactive a lot, she is inactive a lot
• when he's not online until late hours, she's not on until late hours
• when he's online until late hours, she's online until late hours
• they are both online at the same time, and get off at the same time

I've been monitoring this for almost 2.5 weeks.

if this isn't accurate, along with what my gut is telling me, I don't know what is.

I am now certain they are talking. Are they ****ing? I don't know.

I got advice on here to cheat. But at this stage wouldn't walking away be better?

she's been trying to send me some "sweet" memes over the last 2 days. Lastnight she sent a meme that said something along the lines "sometimes you just need that one person to hold you when you have a heavy heart" . I left her on read. this morning she sends "I guess not". I now feel like she uses this kinda stuff to manipulate me. I know she is a manipulator because in our conversations, she always boasts about how she manipulates her sisters into getting what she wants. that's when I knew she's not someone I can openly trust.

I also feel like just sending something like "continue doing what you're doing, and talking to who you're talking to {name}." and go radio silent.

she will lose the money she has invested in her visa and plane ticket for the trip we had pending to Argentina in September.

is this too much of a passive aggressive method? or should I just go NC?

 

[Billtx49]

I also feel like just sending something like "continue doing what you're doing, and talking to who you're talking to {name}." and go radio silent.

or should I just go NC?

Option one only confirms to her that you’ve been creeping on her… no benefit to you.

Option two answer is Yes, which comes with the benefit of finding a better woman once you stop thinking about this one…