Revenge reporting

[viking22]

This seems to be an ever increasing hazard on dating apps. And it seems to be one strike and you are out if you read the guidelines of these apps any behaviour that makes a woman uncomfortable regardless of intent can be used as justification for a ban and of course there is no accountability because they refuse to give details of accusations to protect the privacy/safety of the user who made the report and for these businesses it is virtue signalling to ban lots of users to show they care about safety and also a way for them to even out the male:female ratio.

It seems like a ticking time bomb because dating apps are a numbers game so as a man you are going to have a high volume of interactions with women and sooner or later you're guaranteed to run into a crazy or have some kind of misunderstanding/conflict or misread a situation and make an advance which is unwanted.

Are there any good preventive measures to reduce this risk aside from doing your best to screen for craziness/low interest/bad attitudes etc?
I think it is partly a generational thing so I've been avoiding much younger girls. I also avoid profiles where the girl comes across as opinionated/edgy etc.
I am also wondering if it is better to use a first date as a low key screening interview

 

[sevbucmash]

Most men have no idea about online dating. Most ask out at wrong times.

Basically there are stages in texting.
Know where you at. At what stage in your conversation, before asking out.

Silence
**** test
Logical & Platonic
Positive

Those are four types of text you receive. You can only escalate if girl is sending you Positive texts.

Most men ask out in Logical & Platonic stage or in **** test stage. Some even manage to ask out in Silence stage. Those creeps do get reported.

Todd V will explain it better to you -

 

[The Duke]

I've had my account closed once and shadow banned on there a few times for simply stating the facts regarding a chics bad behavior. The issue became prevalent about 10years ago as the "me too" movement took off. Yep the man is guilty because he is a man and women always tell the truth. lol

Best advice is to not say anything that they can use against you. The apps are not on your side, they have too many men the way it is.. And if things start to go sideways, delete the person/conversation immediately.

Bumble was always the worst about this stuff and its not hard to understand why when you know the history of the founder.

Whitney Wolfe was the original creator of Bumble. She filed a sexual harassment case against Tinder/Match, then created Bumble.

Whitney Wolfe Herd founded Bumble in 2014 to empower women by shifting dating dynamics, requiring women to make the first move to foster equality, kindness, and respect. This female-first approach directly challenged traditional dating norms and online misogyny, creating a safer space that has facilitated over 1.5 billion first moves.

Core Empowerment Principles of Bumble:

• Female-First Move: To reduce harassment and shift power dynamics, only women can send the first message in heterosexual matches.
• Platform Safety: Wolfe Herd prioritized protection against abuse, implementing features like photo verification and "Private Detector" to blur inappropriate imagery.
• Beyond Dating: The platform expanded to include Bumble BFF (friendship) and Bumble Bizz (networking) to empower women in all facets of life.
• Company Culture: Founded with a predominantly female team, the company actively promotes female leadership and a safe, respectful environment.
  
  Wolfe Herd, a former Tinder executive, established Bumble after experiencing harassment, aiming to turn her negative experience into a positive, secure, and empowering experience for others

 

[Barrister]

I used to ask chicks out on OLD within the very first conversation. Most of the time it yielded a positive interaction in some form "wow, you don't waste time!" However, there were a few times where I got a sh1tty response of some variance of "Already? I don't even know you and I am not agreeing to that so fast." These chicks I usually almost immediately dumped because my senses told me they could be trouble in this very vein of thinking something I did was going to be "bad" or "harassment."

OLD is absolutely a numbers game for men. But you have to know when to call the dogs off if you get an even slightly negative response. Just stop DMing them or delete them altogether. It is way too easy for them to get you banned/shadow banned otherwise.

 

[Solomon]

This seems to be an ever increasing hazard on dating apps. And it seems to be one strike and you are out if you read the guidelines of these apps any behaviour that makes a woman uncomfortable regardless of intent can be used as justification for a ban and of course there is no accountability because they refuse to give details of accusations to protect the privacy/safety of the user who made the report and for these businesses it is virtue signalling to ban lots of users to show they care about safety and also a way for them to even out the male:female ratio.

It seems like a ticking time bomb because dating apps are a numbers game so as a man you are going to have a high volume of interactions with women and sooner or later you're guaranteed to run into a crazy or have some kind of misunderstanding/conflict or misread a situation and make an advance which is unwanted.

Are there any good preventive measures to reduce this risk aside from doing your best to screen for craziness/low interest/bad attitudes etc?
I think it is partly a generational thing so I've been avoiding much younger girls. I also avoid profiles where the girl comes across as opinionated/edgy etc.
I am also wondering if it is better to use a first date as a low key screening interview

I try to get a woman's number ASAP to get off the apps and if things turn left, I block them, if you unmatch on some apps they can still report you so I block them and use reasons as "Not compatible" or "Other". I'll give you an example I was talking to a girl on Tinder the other day and got her number. The woman kept making racist jokes. The first time I let it slide the 2nd time though, I checked her on it and told her to **** off (Politely of course) before she could even respond back to my text, I blocked her from the app.

I'm very picky when it comes to my vetting process I've noticed in the last 2 years, there seems to be an epidemic of insufferable, desperate, broke women who think they can talk to you anyway but yet looking for free meals or free handouts.

It's not 100% fullproof but I never subscribe to guys telling men just talk to girls on the app until you meet in person than get her number

 

[Dash Riprock]

I haven't been on dating apps in 2 years.

The last app I used was Hinge. Because of how touchy some women can be on apps, I was always extremely polite and friendly. During my last OLD foray, I was messaging with this woman I had luke warm interest in. She lived in my city and also was a big fan of my favorite 80s metal band, Dokken, so we chatted about that for awhile. I got busy and didn't message back for about a week. I logged into Hinge one morning only to find a big message saying I was BANNED, lol. I messaged them asking why and the reason they stated was that...I took too long to message back which is a violation of their etiquette policy. So this dumb effing b*tch reports me for not replying fast enough. After this I was like 100% absolutely f*ck this. DONE.

I will NEVER go back to OLD. F*ck 'em.

Good luck.
~Dash

 

[viking22]

Agree with getting the number asap. Although not foolproof as they can report previous matches even if you unmatch/block.

My concern is more about getting reported after a date simply because she didn’t like you or felt uncomfortable or felt you didn’t make enough effort or felt rejected.

I think most girls are normal so if you are polite and respectful there won’t be issues

But all it takes is one girl who is overly sensitive or has some kind of mental issues and it’s game over

 

[Solomon]

I haven't been on dating apps in 2 years.

The last app I used was Hinge. Because of how touchy some women can be on apps, I was always extremely polite and friendly. During my last OLD foray, I was messaging with this woman I had luke warm interest in. She lived in my city and also was a big fan of my favorite 80s metal band, Dokken, so we chatted about that for awhile. I got busy and didn't message back for about a week. I logged into Hinge one morning only to find a big message saying I was BANNED, lol. I messaged them asking why and the reason they stated was that...I took too long to message back which is a violation of their etiquette policy. So this dumb effing b*tch reports me for not replying fast enough. After this I was like 100% absolutely f*ck this. DONE.

I will NEVER go back to OLD. F*ck 'em.

Good luck.
~Dash

You dodged a bullet brother! One thing I've learned especially as I get older is there are a lot of insufferable women on dating apps and that's why they are single the sad part is they will always have a victim mentality and I noticed being on and off apps/dating sites for 2 decades now a lot of women are preputually single either getting pumped and dumped because one of the reasons is their insufferable then over time they become more insufferable and either raise their standards or lower them (usually cause they get fat and don't have the same options they had in their prime)

 

[Solomon]

Agree with getting the number asap. Although not foolproof as they can report previous matches even if you unmatch/block.

My concern is more about getting reported after a date simply because she didn’t like you or felt uncomfortable or felt you didn’t make enough effort or felt rejected.

I think most girls are normal so if you are polite and respectful there won’t be issues

But all it takes is one girl who is overly sensitive or has some kind of mental issues and it’s game over

I totally agree with everything you said except the "most girls are normal line" I've noticed since we talking about online dating there has been a huge shift!
I'm not trying to be dramatic but post-COVID, I've noticed more women openly admit that

• They are depressed on SSRI medication
• Trauma with an ex-boyfriend/husband
• Women who want to keep convos on the apps or on other apps
• Women looking for a father for their kids
• Women looking for a sponsor to pay their lifestyle

Some will say these things have always been around, that's a fair take however for me I noticed after 2020 these things increased and they are all dealbreakers They great thing is if you know how to VET women properly typicall you'll know within the first month heck with some women even before the first date! (I have saved so much time and energy by not going on dates with wrong women)From my experience, those type of women tend to be very loony obviously it's not all but it has increased dramatically

 

[Bokanovsky]

This seems to be an ever increasing hazard on dating apps. And it seems to be one strike and you are out if you read the guidelines of these apps any behaviour that makes a woman uncomfortable regardless of intent can be used as justification for a ban and of course there is no accountability because they refuse to give details of accusations to protect the privacy/safety of the user who made the report and for these businesses it is virtue signalling to ban lots of users to show they care about safety and also a way for them to even out the male:female ratio.

It seems like a ticking time bomb because dating apps are a numbers game so as a man you are going to have a high volume of interactions with women and sooner or later you're guaranteed to run into a crazy or have some kind of misunderstanding/conflict or misread a situation and make an advance which is unwanted.

Are there any good preventive measures to reduce this risk aside from doing your best to screen for craziness/low interest/bad attitudes etc?
I think it is partly a generational thing so I've been avoiding much younger girls. I also avoid profiles where the girl comes across as opinionated/edgy etc.
I am also wondering if it is better to use a first date as a low key screening interview

Yes, there is a very effective preventative measure that works every single time. It’s called unmatching. She starts saying stupid or objectionable sh!t? Don’t argue with her. Just unmatch. She’s giving you a weird vibe for a whatever reason? Unmatch. The date didn’t go well and you have no interest in seeing her again (or have a feeling she doesn’t want to see you again)? Unmatch immediately. Once you are no longer matched, she can’t report you.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I never had this happen to me and I have had tons of interactions on these apps.

 

[RoadKing_Rabbit]

Never been "Revenge reported." Although I HAVE had my profile "reported" on two occasions. Once for absolute crap reasons, and another for an unknown reason although I can guarantee what lead to it. Both were Tinder. The apps ain't it. Search features and independent messaging going 'byebye' was the end of feasibly being able to meet someone online. Swiping is gambling. Just with time vs money.

 

[viking22]

Quite a few of the apps now allow you to report people even after they've unmatched you. So that will probably lead to an explosion of revenge reporting as girls do not take well to being unmatched even if they deserved it for being difficult or hostile so that old strategy may even backfire.

I really do not understand it because the share prices of Match Group Bumble etc have fallen off a cliff due to a decline in paying users. Apparently there have been a few high profile cases of sexual predators who used these apps as hunting grounds which resulted in these companies getting sued and having to make significant settlements. So from a corporate liability perspective maybe they feel it is safest to just ban anyone who gets any kind of negative report.