TheVampSlayer
Don Juan
- Joined
- Oct 26, 2014
- Messages
- 47
- Reaction score
- 0
So, let's say I have a date and I'm not sure if the girl will remember. What's a good way to remind her without seeming desperate?
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
You make sure the date is near your place and you don't move until you get a confirmation from her.TheVampSlayer said:So, let's say I have a date and I'm not sure if the girl will remember. What's a good way to remind her without seeming desperate?
This is over gaming. You're taking the unnecessary risk of turning her off and being a jack a** when you already have a date setup. Yeah this move could pan out and maybe her IL will raise, but then again maybe it won't and there won't be a next date. Instead, just go on the damn date and raise her IL by showing yourself to her.Ruler said:The day of, send her a text saying "I have to cancel today".
And then don't show. Give some excuse of how you accidentally double booked with a buddy and you're going rock climbing or something.
Say you promise she can buy you a sh!tyy burger at x place, x date at x time.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
I hope you deleted that ho from your phone after that one.TheVampSlayer said:Thanks for the replies, guys. She remembered, but she flaked.
The whole story is at this thread:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=227093
TheVampSlayer said:Thanks for the replies, guys. She remembered, but she flaked.
The whole story is at this thread:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=227093
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
There is no reason to remind a girl of a date. She should be anxious and excited for the day of the date needing no reminders at all. When something is important as a date, girls will remember it looking forward to it. If she forgets she never really cared to go out. Set up your date and let her be ready to show up.TheVampSlayer said:So, let's say I have a date and I'm not sure if the girl will remember. What's a good way to remind her without seeming desperate?
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Disagree. This line of thinking is illogical and also reeks of outcome dependency. First, calling things beyond your control a failure is a negative and self-defeating attitude. Second, woman routinely can and do flake on guys despite correct gaming. Third, if you weren't outcome dependent you wouldn't care to call things beyond your control a failure to begin with.nismo-4 said:If a woman doesn't show up to a date or flakes on you, you have failed. Either:
1. She wanted validation and an ego boost.
2. You didn't attract her enough for her to show up.
3. You f**ked up in the attraction process.
4. A better man entered the picture.
Whatever the case, delete her number and move on if she doesn't show to a date.
I'm going to disagree with this and here's why. If you made specific plans days in advance to meet a friend somewhere, would you not want to verify with him at some point beforehand? Would you really say nothing at all to each other, maintain silence, and just hope he remembers? No, because that's retarded and you value your time.Desdinova said:You verifying the date with her = your interest is too high
Friends are a bit different. You don't have high or low IL in a friend. They're just kinda there, and sometimes you get busy with 5hit and forget.Yewki said:I'm going to disagree with this and here's why. If you made specific plans days in advance to meet a friend somewhere, would you not want to verify with him at some point beforehand? Would you really say nothing at all to each other, maintain silence, and just hope he remembers? No, because that's retarded and you value your time.
I have yet to see a woman think this deeply about going on a date.Why does it show you're desperate? Because you're willing to sacrifice a big chunk of your time out of fear of compromising her IL. This is putting women on a pedestal 101. What makes more sense, quickly verifying you're not going to waste the next 30-60 minutes of your life... or going to meet someone who has given no clear indication she even remembers?
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.