TheVampSlayer
Don Juan
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- Oct 26, 2014
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So, let's say I have a date and I'm not sure if the girl will remember. What's a good way to remind her without seeming desperate?
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
You make sure the date is near your place and you don't move until you get a confirmation from her.TheVampSlayer said:So, let's say I have a date and I'm not sure if the girl will remember. What's a good way to remind her without seeming desperate?
This is over gaming. You're taking the unnecessary risk of turning her off and being a jack a** when you already have a date setup. Yeah this move could pan out and maybe her IL will raise, but then again maybe it won't and there won't be a next date. Instead, just go on the damn date and raise her IL by showing yourself to her.Ruler said:The day of, send her a text saying "I have to cancel today".
And then don't show. Give some excuse of how you accidentally double booked with a buddy and you're going rock climbing or something.
Say you promise she can buy you a sh!tyy burger at x place, x date at x time.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
I hope you deleted that ho from your phone after that one.TheVampSlayer said:Thanks for the replies, guys. She remembered, but she flaked.
The whole story is at this thread:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=227093
TheVampSlayer said:Thanks for the replies, guys. She remembered, but she flaked.
The whole story is at this thread:
http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?t=227093
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
There is no reason to remind a girl of a date. She should be anxious and excited for the day of the date needing no reminders at all. When something is important as a date, girls will remember it looking forward to it. If she forgets she never really cared to go out. Set up your date and let her be ready to show up.TheVampSlayer said:So, let's say I have a date and I'm not sure if the girl will remember. What's a good way to remind her without seeming desperate?
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
Disagree. This line of thinking is illogical and also reeks of outcome dependency. First, calling things beyond your control a failure is a negative and self-defeating attitude. Second, woman routinely can and do flake on guys despite correct gaming. Third, if you weren't outcome dependent you wouldn't care to call things beyond your control a failure to begin with.nismo-4 said:If a woman doesn't show up to a date or flakes on you, you have failed. Either:
1. She wanted validation and an ego boost.
2. You didn't attract her enough for her to show up.
3. You f**ked up in the attraction process.
4. A better man entered the picture.
Whatever the case, delete her number and move on if she doesn't show to a date.
I'm going to disagree with this and here's why. If you made specific plans days in advance to meet a friend somewhere, would you not want to verify with him at some point beforehand? Would you really say nothing at all to each other, maintain silence, and just hope he remembers? No, because that's retarded and you value your time.Desdinova said:You verifying the date with her = your interest is too high
Friends are a bit different. You don't have high or low IL in a friend. They're just kinda there, and sometimes you get busy with 5hit and forget.Yewki said:I'm going to disagree with this and here's why. If you made specific plans days in advance to meet a friend somewhere, would you not want to verify with him at some point beforehand? Would you really say nothing at all to each other, maintain silence, and just hope he remembers? No, because that's retarded and you value your time.
I have yet to see a woman think this deeply about going on a date.Why does it show you're desperate? Because you're willing to sacrifice a big chunk of your time out of fear of compromising her IL. This is putting women on a pedestal 101. What makes more sense, quickly verifying you're not going to waste the next 30-60 minutes of your life... or going to meet someone who has given no clear indication she even remembers?
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.