"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Rejection of kino

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MacAvoy

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godblessamerica said:
Well it was worth it hanging around for a year Macavoy I mean are you spininng three plates right now
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You bring up a very valid point. I'm glad you did. Since your new to the site, I'll point something very important out to you. You have to watch out for keyboard jockeys and guys that don't know what they are talking about, this is afterall an anonymous internet forum.

However you'll learn after a while who the respected posters are. One of the best ways to judge is to look at other posts and by threads started by a poster. My point is be wary of the advice you receive here, don't take it for gold.

What will be far more helpful is reading things like the bible, the book of pook and other archived posts. Because that is what will give you the knowledge to make decisions on your own. It will give you the foundation to be a better man, a more successful man.
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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MacAvoy

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godblessamerica said:
its not entirely black and white as you guys make out but not as gray as I woudl liek it to be
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And herein lies the truth my new friend. Your a smart guy, however like all us of, we make blunders. I do it as well. However thats what we are here for, to point things out. Many times on this forum, guys will be screaming that its black and white, AFC's will rationalize that its grey. The important thing for you is to find the balance and live your life accordingly.
 
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godblessamerica

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dongorgon whats your point i dont care about how many other guys are getting her action all i am interested is what action i get !!if it takes a year so what I have an extemely busy life work, study , sports . family, other plates spinning ....sometimes projects take time to fit into a busy schedule
 
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godblessamerica

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Point taken Macavoy look dont get me wrong I have really enjoyed the feedback you have and others have given me. After some deep introspection I think i persvered with her too long because i had my other plates to bounce back too when i got rejected .. There was a bit of push pull there as soon as cut contact with her after a bad date she was quick to initiate contact again. This is what confused me cos i coudlnt see the motivation for her doing that. On our dates I didnt do ****y/funny i ddint try to impress her i didnt qualify herself i just pitched in with gunwitch style body language and kino. So there was a lot of tension on our dates which generally ended in aragument .. I mean why did she want to keep doing this and for that matter why teh hell did I
 
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tick37

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You're just a friend and that's all you are. Otherwise, she wouldn't get upset when you touch her. She would be longing for your touch. Keep her as a friend only or next her. You have no other options.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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MotownMack

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Even g/f's where we were always been friends and never sexual, don't mind some contact-assuming they don't have issues or are on guard for sexual advances. I don't know what degree you're talking about here, but if mild kino is sending her scurrying after 12 dates, I would just move on. That's way too much work and not likely to go anywhere.

Not knew to dating, but more due to the DJ stuff-I go with the three date rule as well. I am not yet so good at it that I have to nail her by the 3rd date per se (though in most cases, I'd say it's ideal), but it better at least be clear by that point that you're expecting things to go further, in which case kino should be perfectly acceptable.

It does sound like you're an orbiter, and as soon as she finds someone she's just a tad more interested in passing the time with, you won't hear from here anymore. Best to move on now.
 
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godblessamerica

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MotownMack said:
Even g/f's where we were always been friends and never sexual, don't mind some contact-assuming they don't have issues or are on guard for sexual advances. I don't know what degree you're talking about here, but if mild kino is sending her scurrying after 12 dates, I would just move on. That's way too much work and not likely to go anywhere.

Not knew to dating, but more due to the DJ stuff-I go with the three date rule as well. I am not yet so good at it that I have to nail her by the 3rd date per se (though in most cases, I'd say it's ideal), but it better at least be clear by that point that you're expecting things to go further, in which case kino should be perfectly acceptable.

It does sound like you're an orbiter, and as soon as she finds someone she's just a tad more interested in passing the time with, you won't hear from here anymore. Best to move on now.
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Yes good advice I hear what you are saying .. wasted too much time orbiting around her .. still cant figure out why she stuck in there though cos i wasnt validating her and i was doing kino right from the word go and she would get mad and just keep coming bak for more. and honestly all I can think is maybe she was filling in a quiet weekend rather than being by herself , but you are right her time is definitely up !!!
 
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godblessamerica

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tick37 said:
You're just a friend and that's all you are. Otherwise, she wouldn't get upset when you touch her. She would be longing for your touch. Keep her as a friend only or next her. You have no other options.
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you are right but i dont have girl - friends as rule its all or nothing ( she slid past my defence ) thats why i will NEXT her properly thanx for the input as it has sorted my head out
 
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