Registered in 2001(then left for about 8-9 years) came back for a few, but haven't posted since about 2012, been in LTR/Marriage. Well damn it

[Borknagar]

Aside from those who started this site, I am probably the longest registered user who acknowledges this sites existence and remembers their username/password.

I registered almost 20 years ago. That's right, the women a lot of you are chasing were babys or grade school when I signed up. As were many of you.

I've been in a LTR since late 2012/early 2013 then marriage and we've been "no contact" for over a month, under the same roof. There have been issues for awhile.

Before this, I've never had anything remotely LTR, sadly I got what I think ya'll call is onits or something(yeah I miss her, but it's acceptable to have this during the downfall of a LTR, not on a women you had a few dates with) I can't remember all the damn lingo.

But one thing I have learned to get rid of this AFC(average frustrated chump) is be in this situation. A long LTR that makes you not wanna do it ever again, "mostly", assuming it doesn't work out though you want it to. You just feel you don't want to put this much time into a relationship again only for it to go downhill and end. However, if I do ever decide to venture after this all is final, maybe, I don't think I would be the same as 10 years ago(luckily, though, appearance wise, I look the same, but have to use "just for men" on the salt and pepper going on, being 40 and all. But don't look it. I work out too, still waiting on those wrinkles I was promised). I would be pretty shy, but I don't think I could be an AFC. I just wouldn't care enough.

I'll explain more later. I've chilling in the garage with the heater on. This corona BS is boring me to tears. I had to make due with the garage to lift weights and install a poormans pully system for pulldowns, But hell it works. The rest of my workout stuff is in "her space".

 

[cola]

If you guys had 8 years of mostly good times, it was a worthwhile experience.

what people don’t get is people change, you aren’t the same person 10 years ago and sometimes after 10 years people grow apart and that’s ok.

if you took precautions to not get divorce raped then I say all is well brush yourself off and welcome to the field.

 

[Ohso-Phresh]

Aside from those who started this site, I am probably the longest registered user who acknowledges this sites existence and remembers their username/password.

I registered almost 20 years ago. That's right, the women a lot of you are chasing were babys or grade school when I signed up. As were many of you.

I've been in a LTR since late 2012/early 2013 then marriage and we've been "no contact" for over a month, under the same roof. There have been issues for awhile.

Before this, I've never had anything remotely LTR, sadly I got what I think ya'll call is onits or something(yeah I miss her, but it's acceptable to have this during the downfall of a LTR, not on a women you had a few dates with) I can't remember all the damn lingo.

But one thing I have learned to get rid of this AFC(average frustrated chump) is be in this situation. A long LTR that makes you not wanna do it ever again, "mostly", assuming it doesn't work out though you want it to. You just feel you don't want to put this much time into a relationship again only for it to go downhill and end. However, if I do ever decide to venture after this all is final, maybe, I don't think I would be the same as 10 years ago(luckily, though, appearance wise, I look the same, but have to use "just for men" on the salt and pepper going on, being 40 and all. But don't look it. I work out too, still waiting on those wrinkles I was promised). I would be pretty shy, but I don't think I could be an AFC. I just wouldn't care enough.

I'll explain more later. I've chilling in the garage with the heater on. This corona BS is boring me to tears. I had to make due with the garage to lift weights and install a poormans pully system for pulldowns, But hell it works. The rest of my workout stuff is in "her space".

I think it's a disservice to you to think of relationships as a success or failure in terms of time. If it provided joy, happiness and fulfillment when it was going good that is success in it's own right. Granted the man you are now most likely is not the man she was aroused by or attracted to in the beginning. It's difficult to maintain polarity when what occurs is a natural harmonization for successful companionship. Everything happens for a reason and purpose and this situation has come about to give you a 'kick in the seat of the pants' for some personal growth.

Since you have been away so long, probably a good read would be 'The Rational Male' series, it provides a philosophical framework that goes into intersexual dynamics with a good deal of intellectual depth and it's practical application.

Best thing you can do is get your own place, pronto.

 

[jaymbrs]

Seems to be the new normal lifecycle of dating: LTR, marriage, divorce, start over.

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Are you guys still fvcking regularly? Does she cook and stuff?

 

[skinnyguy]

I’m surprised so many guys get married. Seems like it only benefits women