RoadKing_Rabbit
Senior Don Juan
I'm with clockwerk on this one, full stop. As he aptly put, this is "bizarre."
Here are the things that don't make sense to me. (I understand you're still figuring things out. NOTHING wrong with that.)
1.) YOU are thinking about initiating an LTR. DON'T. I'm not making the decision for you, but if you want advice, It's not a good idea. I know you could choose another one to date or sleep with and you chose not to for whatever reason. So this doesn't strike me as oneitis as much as you have chosen to pedestalize this one. I think THAT is what is turning her off even if she can't tell you why she reacting the way she is.
2.) Why is her mother making her decisions? Is it because she lives with her/still depends on her? She's not making the appearance that she is mature enough for you. Why does it matter that you tell us she's a singlemother? That's giving me the impression that this girl has used this as an excuse for weird arrangements or requirements to set up a date or a meet. She's probably at least 21 if she's out here drinking and going on 'girls nights out.'
3.) It's just a bad situation all over. Are you telling us that you WANT to have an angry mother involved in a relationship that SHOULD be between two consenting adults? She's going to get in the way, man. You know that. Or if you don't know that, you should at least be able to understand that this will not get better, it will get WORSE.
4.) You shouldn't have to tell a woman what not to do. I'm counting 5 (FIVE. F-i-v-e) things that you've listed. The context would suggest she is doing these already. You're ignoring a LOT. Why? There are women out here who do NOT use snapchat. My fiance (popped the question about a month ago while, yes DURING, riding on the harley) calls it "that BS cheater's app." She posts photos of the dogs, the rabbit and pictures of us. Even her pictures before we met weren't suggestive or obviously accentuating 'things.'
There are also plenty of women out there who don't dress 'slvtty' and will make remarks about women who do when you're out together that do. There are even women who DO NOT DRINK AT ALL. You don't have to find a woman that is a prude and spends all her time at church or volunteering or who lives in a convent. She doesn't have to wear coverings everywhere to be all of those things for you.
There's women out there who also make an effort to be the special one in your life because you are that for her. This sounds like she wants you to be her knight in shining armor to ride in on your white charger and take her away from the wicked witch of the west and oppressive baron.
5.) You're in COLLEGE. You can start trying to find women that DON'T go to frat parties. Women who go to the library. Who are smiling a lot and continue to smile if you walk up to them and pick something to chat about. Then meet them again and see if they're consistent. Flirting will naturally happen. You'll find her sexy, she will notice, and then you'll know if it's good or bad because she will let you know. If it's cold or you're confused about how she is acting, TRY SOMEONE else.
6.) For the love of heck, focus on school FIRST. I'd find the subject that is the hardest one for you and start a study group and pick a meeting time. This will build leadership skills and you'll do better in school. Chances are, women will join this study group.
7.) Stay positive and DON'T GET DESPERATE. There's a bajillion women out there. And at that, women who make you feel like you have to 'lay down the law.'
If you're wanting to be with her truly, I'd just go on another date with her and ask her what she wants in life. NOT what she wants in a man. This is also the time for you to describe your ideal future and how you imagine your relationship with your wife would be. Those conversations typically naturally occur before a long term relationship is established.
You've complicated the situation (not placing blame on you at all, you've progressed a LOT) by making mom angry. Also, coming out with a list of thou shalt nots is probably going to backfire as she might feel like the things she is doing is a breakaway from her mother or her source of feeling free, having agency, or being independent. You try to make a woman decide between that and you, she will. And her decision won't be you. Unless you're an undefeated slot machine winner.
The cards are weighted in the dealer's hand. It sounds like your a serious dude and that she'd be picking a solid guy. But I'm not thinking she is ready for what you're ready for. Do you have the patience for that? Or further, who is to say she may not resent you for that role for a guy who just gets her excited or seems to do just that? "Get" her?
And sure, there is something to be said for a woman with fewer or no partners, but making her out to be the best for this factor is for naught if it doesn't work for you. Screw what the forum says, screw what the books say, gurus say, redpill says, manosphere says etc... Are they going to decide what hair color and style you like? They telling you to be a b00b or an a$$ man? No. ONLY YOU determine what you want in a woman. And if she ain't it? She ain't it. Not your fault, not her fault.
I do know this, man. There are a lot of women out there who ARE 'your type.' Just focus on those women and see which ones reciprocate. That's the long and short of all there is to know. Focus on the ones you want, learn to approach them. Don't worry about being awkward. There are always more. After a while you won't be awkward and even if you think you are being awkward, that's when you'll meet women who think the awkward is cute. Seriously. Head up man. Chest out, left foot, right foot.
Here are the things that don't make sense to me. (I understand you're still figuring things out. NOTHING wrong with that.)
1.) YOU are thinking about initiating an LTR. DON'T. I'm not making the decision for you, but if you want advice, It's not a good idea. I know you could choose another one to date or sleep with and you chose not to for whatever reason. So this doesn't strike me as oneitis as much as you have chosen to pedestalize this one. I think THAT is what is turning her off even if she can't tell you why she reacting the way she is.
2.) Why is her mother making her decisions? Is it because she lives with her/still depends on her? She's not making the appearance that she is mature enough for you. Why does it matter that you tell us she's a singlemother? That's giving me the impression that this girl has used this as an excuse for weird arrangements or requirements to set up a date or a meet. She's probably at least 21 if she's out here drinking and going on 'girls nights out.'
3.) It's just a bad situation all over. Are you telling us that you WANT to have an angry mother involved in a relationship that SHOULD be between two consenting adults? She's going to get in the way, man. You know that. Or if you don't know that, you should at least be able to understand that this will not get better, it will get WORSE.
4.) You shouldn't have to tell a woman what not to do. I'm counting 5 (FIVE. F-i-v-e) things that you've listed. The context would suggest she is doing these already. You're ignoring a LOT. Why? There are women out here who do NOT use snapchat. My fiance (popped the question about a month ago while, yes DURING, riding on the harley) calls it "that BS cheater's app." She posts photos of the dogs, the rabbit and pictures of us. Even her pictures before we met weren't suggestive or obviously accentuating 'things.'
There are also plenty of women out there who don't dress 'slvtty' and will make remarks about women who do when you're out together that do. There are even women who DO NOT DRINK AT ALL. You don't have to find a woman that is a prude and spends all her time at church or volunteering or who lives in a convent. She doesn't have to wear coverings everywhere to be all of those things for you.
There's women out there who also make an effort to be the special one in your life because you are that for her. This sounds like she wants you to be her knight in shining armor to ride in on your white charger and take her away from the wicked witch of the west and oppressive baron.
5.) You're in COLLEGE. You can start trying to find women that DON'T go to frat parties. Women who go to the library. Who are smiling a lot and continue to smile if you walk up to them and pick something to chat about. Then meet them again and see if they're consistent. Flirting will naturally happen. You'll find her sexy, she will notice, and then you'll know if it's good or bad because she will let you know. If it's cold or you're confused about how she is acting, TRY SOMEONE else.
6.) For the love of heck, focus on school FIRST. I'd find the subject that is the hardest one for you and start a study group and pick a meeting time. This will build leadership skills and you'll do better in school. Chances are, women will join this study group.
7.) Stay positive and DON'T GET DESPERATE. There's a bajillion women out there. And at that, women who make you feel like you have to 'lay down the law.'
If you're wanting to be with her truly, I'd just go on another date with her and ask her what she wants in life. NOT what she wants in a man. This is also the time for you to describe your ideal future and how you imagine your relationship with your wife would be. Those conversations typically naturally occur before a long term relationship is established.
You've complicated the situation (not placing blame on you at all, you've progressed a LOT) by making mom angry. Also, coming out with a list of thou shalt nots is probably going to backfire as she might feel like the things she is doing is a breakaway from her mother or her source of feeling free, having agency, or being independent. You try to make a woman decide between that and you, she will. And her decision won't be you. Unless you're an undefeated slot machine winner.
The cards are weighted in the dealer's hand. It sounds like your a serious dude and that she'd be picking a solid guy. But I'm not thinking she is ready for what you're ready for. Do you have the patience for that? Or further, who is to say she may not resent you for that role for a guy who just gets her excited or seems to do just that? "Get" her?
And sure, there is something to be said for a woman with fewer or no partners, but making her out to be the best for this factor is for naught if it doesn't work for you. Screw what the forum says, screw what the books say, gurus say, redpill says, manosphere says etc... Are they going to decide what hair color and style you like? They telling you to be a b00b or an a$$ man? No. ONLY YOU determine what you want in a woman. And if she ain't it? She ain't it. Not your fault, not her fault.
I do know this, man. There are a lot of women out there who ARE 'your type.' Just focus on those women and see which ones reciprocate. That's the long and short of all there is to know. Focus on the ones you want, learn to approach them. Don't worry about being awkward. There are always more. After a while you won't be awkward and even if you think you are being awkward, that's when you'll meet women who think the awkward is cute. Seriously. Head up man. Chest out, left foot, right foot.
