Why "Whatever You Want" Keeps You Single

She says the movie looks dumb; you suddenly agree. She tests you with a little attitude; you apologize for nothing.

You think you're being easy to get along with. She reads something else entirely: a man with no edges. Nothing to hold on to. No friction, no tension, no reason to wonder what he really thinks.

The "22 Rules" taught me to push back — playfully, calmly, without needing her approval. Strange things happened after that.

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Reframing faliure, getting through tough times

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Master Don Juan
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I'd been doing great for a long time with this stuff. I was well on my way, and had made huge strides. My posture was more open, I was more relaxed and natural, and everything in my life way improving due to my positive outlook.
But then some stuff happened, and to make it short, I've been reverting to how I was. I lack focus, I'm all over the map, anxious, stressed, and just not doing well. Most of my social interactions are very forced and stressed. It's not good.
Just recently, I talked to this girl I haven't seen in a while. She's showing every sign (except being real close with this one guy, which throws me off a bit) and I thought about her a bit, so I decided "whatever, I've spent time thinking about her, so now I should just get her number and be done with it". I couldn't do it though, and I still can't. It's really ruining my mood. Failing to do something brings me down a lot.
So what are some ways that I can refocus on being positive and not letting this get to me? Should I just carry on, don't think about this girl at all, and just focus on myself for now, or should I force myself to get her number seeing as she does like me and this would be a missed opportunity?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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unorthodox

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Check out "strong your confidence" thread, I posted a reply there. Might be something you need.
 

everywomanshero

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If you beat yourself up for not asking for the number, then you are programming your mind to simply avoid situations where you will feel guilty for not asking for the number, IMO!

Better way to look at this: Dude, that rocks that I had the ballz to talk to a chick I like. Next time it's going to be even mo pimp, cause I am gonna get the # too!'

No one interaction is the end of your social life, and everyday is a brand new life. Make tommorrow a better life.

One more suggestion, instead of trying to get the #, why not set the goals a little higher and try to get a kiss close or hold hands?

Tommorrows a new day man, make us proud tomorrow! Talk to at least 2 girls, if you get a good vibe going with one, try to hold her hand (if you want to cheat use palm reading or the greek god finger thingie).
 

Evo-Psych

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You start off saying that you have made huge strides, so try to think back and put yourself in the state of mind you were in before things went bad. Don't dwell on the recent past failures. Try to keep the progress you have made in your mind and use it as a pep talk to help psych yourself up.

Start building a new string of successes and just shrug off the mistakes and regrets. Start off with the small things you thought were going to be hard when you first became an rAFC, but became so easy later on you wondered why you ever thought it was a big deal. That will help you get your confidence back and go on from there.

Changing your life and the years of AFC conditioning is a slow process and I know I have had many slips along the way. Just make a commitment to yourself that no matter how bad things seem you never want to live your life like a chump and press on.

Good luck.
 
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