"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

Read more...

Reframing faliure, getting through tough times

handle

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jul 18, 2005
Messages
893
Reaction score
108
I'd been doing great for a long time with this stuff. I was well on my way, and had made huge strides. My posture was more open, I was more relaxed and natural, and everything in my life way improving due to my positive outlook.
But then some stuff happened, and to make it short, I've been reverting to how I was. I lack focus, I'm all over the map, anxious, stressed, and just not doing well. Most of my social interactions are very forced and stressed. It's not good.
Just recently, I talked to this girl I haven't seen in a while. She's showing every sign (except being real close with this one guy, which throws me off a bit) and I thought about her a bit, so I decided "whatever, I've spent time thinking about her, so now I should just get her number and be done with it". I couldn't do it though, and I still can't. It's really ruining my mood. Failing to do something brings me down a lot.
So what are some ways that I can refocus on being positive and not letting this get to me? Should I just carry on, don't think about this girl at all, and just focus on myself for now, or should I force myself to get her number seeing as she does like me and this would be a missed opportunity?
 

"Nervous Around Beautiful Women? There's a Rule for That"

I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.

The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.

Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.

Read more...

unorthodox

Banned
Joined
Sep 15, 2006
Messages
221
Reaction score
0
Check out "strong your confidence" thread, I posted a reply there. Might be something you need.
 

everywomanshero

Master Don Juan
Joined
May 2, 2005
Messages
1,814
Reaction score
36
If you beat yourself up for not asking for the number, then you are programming your mind to simply avoid situations where you will feel guilty for not asking for the number, IMO!

Better way to look at this: Dude, that rocks that I had the ballz to talk to a chick I like. Next time it's going to be even mo pimp, cause I am gonna get the # too!'

No one interaction is the end of your social life, and everyday is a brand new life. Make tommorrow a better life.

One more suggestion, instead of trying to get the #, why not set the goals a little higher and try to get a kiss close or hold hands?

Tommorrows a new day man, make us proud tomorrow! Talk to at least 2 girls, if you get a good vibe going with one, try to hold her hand (if you want to cheat use palm reading or the greek god finger thingie).
 

Evo-Psych

Don Juan
Joined
Oct 11, 2006
Messages
15
Reaction score
0
You start off saying that you have made huge strides, so try to think back and put yourself in the state of mind you were in before things went bad. Don't dwell on the recent past failures. Try to keep the progress you have made in your mind and use it as a pep talk to help psych yourself up.

Start building a new string of successes and just shrug off the mistakes and regrets. Start off with the small things you thought were going to be hard when you first became an rAFC, but became so easy later on you wondered why you ever thought it was a big deal. That will help you get your confidence back and go on from there.

Changing your life and the years of AFC conditioning is a slow process and I know I have had many slips along the way. Just make a commitment to yourself that no matter how bad things seem you never want to live your life like a chump and press on.

Good luck.
 
Top