"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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Reached heavy kino, but not full-close - analysis and suggestions welcome (LONG)

Horizon

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Hi everybody,

Now there's this girl (HB7 I guess) (no-no, not an one-itits, I date
others).

Initiated kino on the first date (carried her over a puddle of mud, then kissed in the lips at the end of the date).
Some wine drinking and kissing in the rain on the second date (plus some pattern followed up by a real-life surprise stemming from that pattern).

Then a mini-date - just walked her home and then involved in a some kind of shamanic ritual to summon snow & cold (tambourine included). Again, some hugging and cheek kissing (it was quite cold and her lips would have chapped).

Finally, the third full date for which I prepared a scene from her own dream (she had told me that on one of the previous dates). The girl was really surprised. Then I invited her to my place just to drop some props prepared for the scene, we watched some photos, then some other magic ritual which escalated into kissing and heavy kino (up to kissing her breasts).

Initially, there was no big LMR, but it grew gradually. I displayed some persistency, but since we work together, I don't want to gamble too much, so to say - so I eventually stopped but was trying to keep the body language like "OK lady I know what's going on and it's OK if we wait for a little while". Then, walking her home, I told her something like "Some women believe that if they sleep with a guy early, he'll easily loose interest,
but with some guys (SP) things are different". The story cheered her up (she was somewhat nervous when we left my place).

Then, she invited me for a cup of tea, the body language was quite positive, but the LMR defense remained. Again, out of the ethics reasons I decided not to go caveman. We were drinking the tea and chatting with good rapport. Then I kissed her goodbye (again in the lips) and went home (number-closing another girl in the subway ;)
Now, the questions:

a) How "lethal" it was not to proceed with physical contact escalation (keeping the ethics issue in mind)?

b) What would be my best further steps to close the deal (the goal is LTR, not ONS)?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Kaptain

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a) It wasn't. Showing respect is good.

b) Stop thinking so much and putting pressure on yourself and her. Otherwise how are you supposed to enjoy yourself. You sound like a fun guy to be around. Put a end to that would be "lethal".

PS

Whats LMR???
 

Kaptain

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Cheers Alphathree.

LMR, Patterns, ONS, LTR, physical contact escalation ????
Horizon picking up chicks is not a programming language.

PS LJBF OK
 

DonJuanMonk

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^, Yes HORIZON please stop using acronyms it's quite obvious Horizon posts under another name. Now for suggestions? None, you seem to be doing well, continue what you're doing and you will achieve what you dream of.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Horizon

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Acronyms etc.

Thanks everyone for your replies!

I indeed post under another name, but not on this forum. The original post was copied from there, hence all the acronyms (they are more than acceptable there, so I assumed they would be as acceptbale on this forum).

It is my first post here, so please don't bust me hard - I will accomodate to the local culture over time.
 

So pimp its scary

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There's nothing really wrong with what you wrote.

Personnally, Once things start getting hot and heavy I've yet to have a girl stop things... probly cause I'll take as much time as it takes.

For example, if we're making out for like 10-20 minutes, I might run my hand under the brim of her shirt and then go back... she might see that hint and take her shirt off or do something to show 'don't stop'.
 
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