"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Rate my looks?

Wildebeest

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i know its irrelevant, but what do you guys think

avg, ugly, or good looking?

 

"I'm Not Looking for Anything Serious Right Now"

When a woman says it, guys hear a confession. A heads-up. A scheduling conflict.

Here's the translation: I don't feel anything. Right now. With you.

Watch what happens when a man triggers actual attraction. The busy career, the recent breakup, the "not in a place to date" — all of it evaporates instantly. The same woman who was guarding her freedom is suddenly free every night.

The "22 Rules" explain why. When the right switches flip, her timeline rearranges itself around you.

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Wildebeest

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5'11
82 kg
fairly fit, I have decent shoulders, and nice biceps, but body fat is like in 12-20% range. No 6 pack, but stomach isnt too flabby
 

Wildebeest

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I can grow stubble slowly, with decent coverage, but I cant really grow a beard atm
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Wildebeest

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yea, I typically dont clean shave anymore, and I feel good about it.

I am asking opinions because girls never seem to think im cute in my mind at least.
 

Wildebeest

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I dont tend to get complimented on my looks. Pretty much only complimented was on pof by a psycho stalker girl in the making, who was like a 6 or 7

Ive been complimented by girls on my clothes sometimes. I dress a little bit more stylish lately. Not afraid to wear a shirt that is different or unique.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Mike32ct

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Girls are very tough on looks, much worse than us guys are. They generally only compliment the top 20 percent of guys.

This naturally leaves many decent looking and even handsome dudes (understandably) questioning their looks. I do the same thing.
 

Wildebeest

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I actually thought I was very ugly when I was 17-19.

"Girls are very tough on looks, much worse than us guys are"
- thats interesting, is it because theyre obsessed with looking good themselves?
 

Mike32ct

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I don't want to hijack your thread with a looks rant lol. Those threads get out of control lol.

But suffice to say that girls are big into looks for the following reasons:

1. Because they can. They generally get way more attention than most males do, so they can be much more picky.

2. Girls are big on status. She wants to show off to her girlfriends that she is dating and/or hooked up with the hot guy.

3. Because of #1, they have a sense of entitlement.

So anyway, all a guy can really do is try to optimize their looks. In your case, grow some stubble and continue working out.
 

SamTheHobit

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loveshogun

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OP:

Your looks are good enough. Don't obsess over it.

If you work out, it should be for the benefits of being healthy, and the huge impact being healthy makes on your everyday life - looks are just a nice positive side-effect.
 

"She's Out of Your League"

You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.

Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.

She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.

Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.

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marmel75

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loveshogun said:
OP:

Your looks are good enough. Don't obsess over it.

If you work out, it should be for the benefits of being healthy, and the huge impact being healthy makes on your everyday life - looks are just a nice positive side-effect.
Always remember that to bang a girl, you only really need to meet a certain "minimum requirements" in the looks department. As long as you do that, what happens is really up to your abilities. Obviously if you are a great looking guy, its going to be easier for you because your looks alone will turn her on, but there are a lot of other way to turn women on besides looks. I think you are a decent enough looking guy...actually remind me a little bit of Nicholas Cage, although a younger version...
 

vatoloco

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Wildebeest said:
yea, its actually my main dp for pof lol
doing my puppy dog eyes
Holy shit son! If this is you main pic, you're never gonna get anywhere, especially on POF!!

You exude "Nice Guy." No offense, bro. You just do. You're not a bad-looking kid but you need an edge...
 

floydb25

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You look kind of like Nicholas Cage. There's a resemblance, at least. It doesn't really matter what guys think about how you look - only women. Not women on PoF, either. If you have girls checking you out and agreeing to dates, you're good. They don't have to compliment you; not all women are forward. The city / state I live in now has a lot of reserved, shy, polite, traditional women (the south) who don't seem very flirtacious or social, but I can see them staring from a distance, so its all good. Back home (the midwest), the girls were very forward and aggressive, and had no problems approaching, flirting, complimenting, or getting right down to business. All depends on the locale, and the people you run into. Not everyone is going to say "hey sexy" or "you're hot", or scream / whistle at you. They might not say anything, or come up to you at all. Looks are looks. If you get them, and get dates, and sexual advances, you're good. Don't obsess because you're not being approached. Only the aggressive ones tend to do that.
 

SoSuaveDude

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I will agree that you have the sort of nice guy look, so try some facial hair.

Other than that, get your confidence up because making this thread is a clear cutaway that you are lacking a bit in the area (which is also most important).
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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