You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
True, women just don't operate that way. A guy can only get so far with rapport. After that it takes time to escalate rapport to comfort, from comfort to romance and from romance to intimacy.Go getta said:cant do that with in minutes man...
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
That's just basic rapport. It's all about gaining mutual agreement on a particular topic or two.April_Infinite said:I meant those guys that seem to connect with women extremely fast, within 10 minutes of talking to them, can get them smiling and such.
Personally, I don't think that there is such a thing as deep rapport (at least not quickly). Rapport in itself is just gaining a basic comfort level when you initially meet someone. Why would a woman open up to you on a deep level if she has just met you?April_Infinite said:So you are telling me that when you are trying to get into deep rapport with someone, you fish for a topic that both of you agree on?
Yes, that's very effective.Francisco d'Anconia said:Pay attention to where you are and what's going on around you, that's your in-road to gaining rapport.
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
I'd be careful making fun of people, even doing it just a bit could make you seem insecure. And if the woman enjoys it, she may be the type of woman who regularly puts down others. Bad attitude and possible high maintenance.Max Power said:Yes, that's very effective.
Making fun of the people around you can work if you don't over do it.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.