i asked a girl out last week for drinks, she was busy all week but suggested tonight. I agreed, but haven't spoke to her since, and she hasn't initiated any contact or said that it's still on. I get the vibe that if she was really interested in going out she would have at least text me to see if we are still on, I dunno whether I should ask her if we are still on.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Quick question
- Thread starter mattyt
- Start date
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
narcissist
Master Don Juan
Just ask her out. Don't be afraid of rejection.
Roober
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Nov 2, 2016
- Messages
- 2,372
- Reaction score
- 2,120
Usually women will text to confirm. If she doesn't by an hour before the date, you will likely get the "I forgot". You can always send a text assuming she is going like... "Grab a seat at the bar for me"
Did you guys agree on a time and date?
Did you guys agree on a time and date?
"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
SuckItUp
Senior Don Juan
Two schools of thought here.
One is to just show up and have a great time if she shows or doesn't show.
The other is to ping 24 hours before the date and bust on her a bit.
Obviously, you don't want to ask her if she's going to show up.
You say something like ready to get your butt kicked in pool, bowling, darts (applies to an activity assumed with date) or on the same day looking forward to tonight.
The question on whether to text or not depends on a few things.
In this case I would because it's been a week since you last spoke and she may think you are flaking.
Pinging her will give you a good idea if she's going to show up. She'll either give you some bs as to why she can't meet up or she'll confirm to you that she'll be there.
Of course her confirming means nothing unless she shows up, but it's more likely.