"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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quick advice!

coco99

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the other day i invited a girl to browse a record shop/get some coffee first meeting/date type thing.

i told her i was going to so and so place and so and so time and she should come along - she agreed.

i got her #, she doesn't have mine. the only thing i am questioning is, should i call a couple of hours before hand to offer to either pick her up or meet her there?
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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JLance

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Call her tonight between the times of 9 and 11. At those times she will likely be at home doing nothing. Vibe with her for a bit and then confirm the plans of where and when you will be hanging out. Personally I'd pick her up.

Jay Lance
 

coco99

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cheer, man. i'm reading the archives and am finding the info i need.

we're actually going out tonight at 7:00 p.m. and i am thinking of calling her at 6:00 p.m and offering to pick her up.

something like...'hey, blah blah, i am on my way there now. tell me where you are so i can pick you up'?

sound good?
 

Create Reality

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JLance said:
Call her tonight between the times of 9 and 11. At those times she will likely be at home doing nothing. Vibe with her for a bit and then confirm the plans of where and when you will be hanging out. Personally I'd pick her up.

Jay Lance

good advice.
 

Create Reality

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coco99 said:
cheer, man. i'm reading the archives and am finding the info i need.

we're actually going out tonight at 7:00 p.m. and i am thinking of calling her at 6:00 p.m and offering to pick her up.

sound good?
no call her now dude.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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JLance

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coco99 said:
cheer, man. i'm reading the archives and am finding the info i need.

we're actually going out tonight at 7:00 p.m. and i am thinking of calling her at 6:00 p.m and offering to pick her up.

sound good?
Call her right now! Talk about waiting until the last minute :)

Sometimes if plans aren't confirmed girls will make other plans. Especially is the girl is hot. A hot girl's phone rings all the time.

Jay Lance
 

coco99

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alright. the plans are confirmed. it is just a matter of getting there. she's got a car but i would rather pick her up and play on my home field
 

JLance

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coco99 said:
alright. the plans are confirmed. it is just a matter of getting there. she's got a car but i would rather pick her up and play on my home field
Good. Listen before you go do a quick workout. It will help you enormously with feeling comfortable. Don't forget your KINO! Good luck.

Jay Lance
 

coco99

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so, i think i was stood up.

i showed up at 7:10 p.m. and didn't see her anywhere. so i did what i went to do - which was to look for some music. did that for about 20 minutes and didn't see her. this place is huge. imagine a barnes and noble or chapters but just for music and stuff. so i grabbed some cds and went to lounge area and listened to them with a drink.

at about 8:00 p.m.i decided to jet and before leaving, approached a girl in the magazine area. got her phone and felt pretty good.
 

Charm

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Nice way turning the situation around and staying positive!
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

Read more...

coco99

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so, me and the girl who i met at the record store (where i was stood up by the other girl) went out for a quick breakfast.

upon entering the cafe, i see out of the corner of my eye the same girl who stood me up having tea with one of her girlfriends in the corner. as i walked by her, she noticed me but i acknowledge her (i didn't snub her but just acted i like i didnt see her) and took a seat with my date with my back facing the girl who stood me up.

crazy coincidence.

the date went well though. later on, i went to work and she was working as well. she completely snubbed me with no smile or anything - though i didn't go over and talk to her either.
 

coco99

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i am working other girls but would like other people's opinions on when you should cut loose a prospect.

the same girl described earlier approached me at work and made attempted some small talk but i was busy and smiled and told her later. she then emailed me asking if i was excited about the upcoming gig - i didn't email her back. i never went over and talked to her and she didnt attempt to either again.

what should my next move be? should i turn show her some attention again and invite out for something else or what?
 
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