"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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quick advice!

coco99

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the other day i invited a girl to browse a record shop/get some coffee first meeting/date type thing.

i told her i was going to so and so place and so and so time and she should come along - she agreed.

i got her #, she doesn't have mine. the only thing i am questioning is, should i call a couple of hours before hand to offer to either pick her up or meet her there?
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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JLance

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Call her tonight between the times of 9 and 11. At those times she will likely be at home doing nothing. Vibe with her for a bit and then confirm the plans of where and when you will be hanging out. Personally I'd pick her up.

Jay Lance
 

coco99

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cheer, man. i'm reading the archives and am finding the info i need.

we're actually going out tonight at 7:00 p.m. and i am thinking of calling her at 6:00 p.m and offering to pick her up.

something like...'hey, blah blah, i am on my way there now. tell me where you are so i can pick you up'?

sound good?
 

Create Reality

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JLance said:
Call her tonight between the times of 9 and 11. At those times she will likely be at home doing nothing. Vibe with her for a bit and then confirm the plans of where and when you will be hanging out. Personally I'd pick her up.

Jay Lance

good advice.
 

Create Reality

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coco99 said:
cheer, man. i'm reading the archives and am finding the info i need.

we're actually going out tonight at 7:00 p.m. and i am thinking of calling her at 6:00 p.m and offering to pick her up.

sound good?
no call her now dude.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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JLance

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coco99 said:
cheer, man. i'm reading the archives and am finding the info i need.

we're actually going out tonight at 7:00 p.m. and i am thinking of calling her at 6:00 p.m and offering to pick her up.

sound good?
Call her right now! Talk about waiting until the last minute :)

Sometimes if plans aren't confirmed girls will make other plans. Especially is the girl is hot. A hot girl's phone rings all the time.

Jay Lance
 

coco99

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alright. the plans are confirmed. it is just a matter of getting there. she's got a car but i would rather pick her up and play on my home field
 

JLance

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coco99 said:
alright. the plans are confirmed. it is just a matter of getting there. she's got a car but i would rather pick her up and play on my home field
Good. Listen before you go do a quick workout. It will help you enormously with feeling comfortable. Don't forget your KINO! Good luck.

Jay Lance
 

coco99

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so, i think i was stood up.

i showed up at 7:10 p.m. and didn't see her anywhere. so i did what i went to do - which was to look for some music. did that for about 20 minutes and didn't see her. this place is huge. imagine a barnes and noble or chapters but just for music and stuff. so i grabbed some cds and went to lounge area and listened to them with a drink.

at about 8:00 p.m.i decided to jet and before leaving, approached a girl in the magazine area. got her phone and felt pretty good.
 

Charm

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Nice way turning the situation around and staying positive!
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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coco99

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so, me and the girl who i met at the record store (where i was stood up by the other girl) went out for a quick breakfast.

upon entering the cafe, i see out of the corner of my eye the same girl who stood me up having tea with one of her girlfriends in the corner. as i walked by her, she noticed me but i acknowledge her (i didn't snub her but just acted i like i didnt see her) and took a seat with my date with my back facing the girl who stood me up.

crazy coincidence.

the date went well though. later on, i went to work and she was working as well. she completely snubbed me with no smile or anything - though i didn't go over and talk to her either.
 

coco99

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i am working other girls but would like other people's opinions on when you should cut loose a prospect.

the same girl described earlier approached me at work and made attempted some small talk but i was busy and smiled and told her later. she then emailed me asking if i was excited about the upcoming gig - i didn't email her back. i never went over and talked to her and she didnt attempt to either again.

what should my next move be? should i turn show her some attention again and invite out for something else or what?
 
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