"The Kiss of Death Mistake"

You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?

Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.

One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.

Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.

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Question for you guys

speedF

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so about a month ago, i got this girl's number at a coffee shop. i called her back, and we talked for a few mins and she had to go.

anyhow, i called her back like a week later and she didn't pick up. so i just never called her back again, i was starting to see someone else so i didn't care.

few days ago, i logged onto myspace. i just randomly saw her while i was browsing around and recognized her face and name. she looks very hot now. iwas thinking of messaging her? but is that too weird because i dont really know her?

i know it's stupid, but let me know.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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penkitten

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speedF said:
so about a month ago, i got this girl's number at a coffee shop. i called her back, and we talked for a few mins and she had to go.

anyhow, i called her back like a week later and she didn't pick up. so i just never called her back again, i was starting to see someone else so i didn't care.

few days ago, i logged onto myspace. i just randomly saw her while i was browsing around and recognized her face and name. she looks very hot now. iwas thinking of messaging her? but is that too weird because i dont really know her?

i know it's stupid, but let me know.
you could message her and say "dont i know you from somewhere"?
 

floydtheater07

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I'd say to go with it. I've developed some very good relationships by doing that (I make it a rule to have met the person before I send them a message, but it seems as though you have that covered).

Really, just do it. It's not a big deal.
 

floydtheater07

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I'd say to go with it. I've developed some very good relationships by doing that (I make it a rule to have met the person before I send them a message, but it seems as though you have that covered).

Really, just do it. It's not a big deal. And of course man, good luck.
 

speedF

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yea, i added her, a few days ago and she didn't respond.
anyhow, it's kinda childish, but do you think i should just block her so she can't read my profile? or just forget it.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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Boschy

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Man, sounds like a lost cause to me. Unless you can get her to remember you and see that she has some interest in you, then move on. But no harm in trying. You will have to be very specific about your meeting with her, and then be very specific about hooking up later. Think of a time, day, activity (coffee, lunch, art gallery) and see what happens, and get a phone number. Remember that most hot chicks get approached all the time by men. Since she met you, she's probably gotten more attention from other guys.
 

Socialreject

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penkitten said:
you could message her and say "dont i know you from somewhere"?
That one is a sucker for "yeah, that's why i don't go there anymore!". :)
 

flexion_

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Well it won't hurt to try.

One question - when you first talked with her on the phone why did she end up having to go? My point is you should be the one to have to go - maybe you overcooked it a bit and turned it into a low IL situation from there.
 

Luscious

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If she didn't give you the Myspace then you shouldn't be adding her. It's going to scream 'stalker' to the nth degree.

Give yourself more options.
 

speedF

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great, so i look like a tool now. thanks. i could block her now and make myself invisiable
 

"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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