"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Question for you guys

speedF

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so about a month ago, i got this girl's number at a coffee shop. i called her back, and we talked for a few mins and she had to go.

anyhow, i called her back like a week later and she didn't pick up. so i just never called her back again, i was starting to see someone else so i didn't care.

few days ago, i logged onto myspace. i just randomly saw her while i was browsing around and recognized her face and name. she looks very hot now. iwas thinking of messaging her? but is that too weird because i dont really know her?

i know it's stupid, but let me know.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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penkitten

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speedF said:
so about a month ago, i got this girl's number at a coffee shop. i called her back, and we talked for a few mins and she had to go.

anyhow, i called her back like a week later and she didn't pick up. so i just never called her back again, i was starting to see someone else so i didn't care.

few days ago, i logged onto myspace. i just randomly saw her while i was browsing around and recognized her face and name. she looks very hot now. iwas thinking of messaging her? but is that too weird because i dont really know her?

i know it's stupid, but let me know.
you could message her and say "dont i know you from somewhere"?
 

floydtheater07

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I'd say to go with it. I've developed some very good relationships by doing that (I make it a rule to have met the person before I send them a message, but it seems as though you have that covered).

Really, just do it. It's not a big deal.
 

floydtheater07

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I'd say to go with it. I've developed some very good relationships by doing that (I make it a rule to have met the person before I send them a message, but it seems as though you have that covered).

Really, just do it. It's not a big deal. And of course man, good luck.
 

speedF

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yea, i added her, a few days ago and she didn't respond.
anyhow, it's kinda childish, but do you think i should just block her so she can't read my profile? or just forget it.
 

"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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Boschy

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Man, sounds like a lost cause to me. Unless you can get her to remember you and see that she has some interest in you, then move on. But no harm in trying. You will have to be very specific about your meeting with her, and then be very specific about hooking up later. Think of a time, day, activity (coffee, lunch, art gallery) and see what happens, and get a phone number. Remember that most hot chicks get approached all the time by men. Since she met you, she's probably gotten more attention from other guys.
 

Socialreject

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penkitten said:
you could message her and say "dont i know you from somewhere"?
That one is a sucker for "yeah, that's why i don't go there anymore!". :)
 

flexion_

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Well it won't hurt to try.

One question - when you first talked with her on the phone why did she end up having to go? My point is you should be the one to have to go - maybe you overcooked it a bit and turned it into a low IL situation from there.
 

Luscious

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If she didn't give you the Myspace then you shouldn't be adding her. It's going to scream 'stalker' to the nth degree.

Give yourself more options.
 

speedF

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great, so i look like a tool now. thanks. i could block her now and make myself invisiable
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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