but now is into manipulating men without giving them sex
That's horrible, great sex is really the only thing BPD's are good for at all, and even then it is not worth it IMO
I treat her like dirt, like a cheap wh0re who is only good for sex.
Yep, that is how they like to be treated, messed up isn't it? The one I dated was really hot too, did professional modeling, most guys would have given their left, well, don't know if I am allowed to say it, but body part hehe, to have a chance to sleep with her.
I wondered why she wanted me and not someone rich and famous, but as you said their self esteem is completely messed up and they like men who treat them poorly. I just cannot do it, I am not that kind of guy. She needed someone who treated her like dirt for a good unstable dysfunctional relationship.
I was funny and ****y with her at first, and just casual with her, but after awhile she wore me down, made me fall in love with her before I knew what she was really like, and turned me into a total wbafc with her psycho mind games.
addendum:I think the "need" she has is that at some level she wants you to validate her, to start treating her like a princess. She probably thinks if she can turn you around and control you that will somehow make her feel better. Essentially she wants a challenge, she was likely abused at some point and you are like a proxy, where if you(or some other guy who treats her like dirt) validate her in the end it is the next best thing to her original abuser validating her. Of course if you actually do this, she will start treating YOU like dirt and lose interest until you act like a jerk again, because she is psycho. Actually trying to have a relationship with these women is a no-win situation. But take my advice as just personal experience/conjectures because I am not a psychologist .