This is probably a silly question, but I am curious about something- all you DJ's who are dating multiple women, how do you deal with a day like today where they all expect something? I imagine they would all want to spend time with you today and you cannot be two places at once.
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
question for those with multiple GF's
- Thread starter StevenR
- Start date
"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
aussiegoat55
Senior Don Juan
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The DJ/real man spends this day (Feb 14th) with one special woman. Even if you're dating multiple women, pick the one that means the most to you. Yes the other girl's feelings will be devastated. If that bothers you then you shouldn't be dating multiple women, but if it doesn't, go ahead, pick one and drop the others. I would have forseen this problem a couple of weeks ahead of today and broken off relations with the runner up girls and decided to spend the day with the one girl I like the most.
The idea of dating multiple women is effieiciency, plate theory, keeping busy, and not developing oneitis. If you can date one woman at a time without succumbing to those negative factors,... then great. If you just like dating multiple women be sure to understand the pros and cons of both, see it from the girl's perspective as well. Imagine if the girl you were dating was dating/sleeping with another guy. Hmm?
I used to date multiple women, but now I'm dating just one, and I do flirt with other girls now since it's just dating and nothing serious. But when I want to committ, I stop my flirtatious behaviour with other girls and focus on only one.
It's really whatever works for you.
The idea of dating multiple women is effieiciency, plate theory, keeping busy, and not developing oneitis. If you can date one woman at a time without succumbing to those negative factors,... then great. If you just like dating multiple women be sure to understand the pros and cons of both, see it from the girl's perspective as well. Imagine if the girl you were dating was dating/sleeping with another guy. Hmm?
I used to date multiple women, but now I'm dating just one, and I do flirt with other girls now since it's just dating and nothing serious. But when I want to committ, I stop my flirtatious behaviour with other girls and focus on only one.
It's really whatever works for you.
Daddy The Pimp
Master Don Juan
I date multiple girls . All the time . .
Thats because i wont be needy . And since i know i have other girls waiting for me i dont give a fvck what she's gonna do . I dont fall for her games .
But in this special day , yesterday , i stayed at home .
I didnt want to date any of these . As aussiegoat said you gotta spend this day with someone special . And noone of them is special .
I dont know whats gonna happen today
. They all mad :crackup: .
Thats because i wont be needy . And since i know i have other girls waiting for me i dont give a fvck what she's gonna do . I dont fall for her games .
But in this special day , yesterday , i stayed at home .
I didnt want to date any of these . As aussiegoat said you gotta spend this day with someone special . And noone of them is special .
I dont know whats gonna happen today
. They all mad :crackup: .Carrying on with multiple girlfriends is a study in time management. For me, and seemingly with most guys who maintain multiple relationships, one of the girls tends to matter far more than the others. On days like Valentines I usually spend with my favorite.
With the others our relationships tend to be more sporadic. One is married and knows the relationship that I have with my favorite. Actually, I guess we are having an affair so there is an expectation that we not get together on Valentine’s Day. Of the more casual girlfriends it is an easy matter to just tell her something like, “Why don’t we get together on Friday night instead, so we can stay up all night.” For the most part though, Valentine’s Day is no big deal. With most women just a card and a hug and a kiss are enough, and it doesn’t even have to be on Valentine’s Day – like on the 12th or the 13th.
With the others our relationships tend to be more sporadic. One is married and knows the relationship that I have with my favorite. Actually, I guess we are having an affair so there is an expectation that we not get together on Valentine’s Day. Of the more casual girlfriends it is an easy matter to just tell her something like, “Why don’t we get together on Friday night instead, so we can stay up all night.” For the most part though, Valentine’s Day is no big deal. With most women just a card and a hug and a kiss are enough, and it doesn’t even have to be on Valentine’s Day – like on the 12th or the 13th.
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Francisco d'Anconia
Master Don Juan
Are you guys truly dating these women? Doesn't that mean that there's some type of commitment? That they are special. Why date a woman or even worse multiple women who you don't believe is special anyway, isn't that a waste?
Dongfu
Banned
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I'm fvcking several women. I spent valentines day surfing, and later in the evening I let one of them make me dinner and give me a massage.
Bible_Belt
Master Don Juan
how do you deal with a day like today where they all expect something?
Tell me about it. New Year's Eve was difficult, too. I have two girls, a hb7 who is a total afc over me and a hb9, who is a crazy bpd single mommie and amazing in bed. I have been spending these times with the 7 and mostly just dumping the 9, telling her to go off with one of the flock of AFC guys who are always after her. Both girls know about each other. The 9 has never been rejected by a guy before, and it drives her crazy. She didn't call me last night, so I imagine she had an AFC to entertain her. She did have a steady stream of guys stopping by yesterday to give her cards and flowers. Although I am, afaik, the one guy who is actually getting sex from her, she got no card or flowers from me. I send her off with the AFCs, because I know she'll be bored within a day or two and be calling me again. I never call either of these girls, btw, they call me. They each know they have to, because they are in competition with another girl.
So my plate-spinning v-day method would be to reject the hotter girl who never gets rejected and let that fvck with her head until she calls me in a day or two and throws herself at me in a desperate attempt at validation.
Tell me about it. New Year's Eve was difficult, too. I have two girls, a hb7 who is a total afc over me and a hb9, who is a crazy bpd single mommie and amazing in bed. I have been spending these times with the 7 and mostly just dumping the 9, telling her to go off with one of the flock of AFC guys who are always after her. Both girls know about each other. The 9 has never been rejected by a guy before, and it drives her crazy. She didn't call me last night, so I imagine she had an AFC to entertain her. She did have a steady stream of guys stopping by yesterday to give her cards and flowers. Although I am, afaik, the one guy who is actually getting sex from her, she got no card or flowers from me. I send her off with the AFCs, because I know she'll be bored within a day or two and be calling me again. I never call either of these girls, btw, they call me. They each know they have to, because they are in competition with another girl.
So my plate-spinning v-day method would be to reject the hotter girl who never gets rejected and let that fvck with her head until she calls me in a day or two and throws herself at me in a desperate attempt at validation.
And you didn't even have sex with her?
BPD!!!? Run Forrest..run! You know she has BPD and you are dating her? you are playing with fire dude. Reading your posts it is obvious you get off on this kind of risky behavior, but don't say I didn't warn you.
I am almost certain she is just telling you that to boost her ego. I would reject her if she has BPD and I knew about it.
That is what she tells YOU anyway. Knowing how BPD works, I seriously doubt she is telling you the truth. BPD women live in their own world and their word is as good as...well it isn't. BPD women are the worst AW's and having sex with different men for them is validation of their own fragile messed up ego. That and she is incapable of real emotional attachment to any one guy.
Bible_Belt
Master Don Juan
I have known her ten years, fwiw. She has been slvtty a long time, but now is into manipulating men without giving them sex. AFCs don't demand sex, she is just now figuring this out. But I do. I treat her like dirt, like a cheap wh0re who is only good for sex. After sex, I will often dump her off crying at her mom's house where she lives. Treating her badly fulfills a need she has, which is why she keeps calling me. Hot crazy b!tches usually need to be treated poorly.
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
That's horrible, great sex is really the only thing BPD's are good for at all, and even then it is not worth it IMO
Yep, that is how they like to be treated, messed up isn't it? The one I dated was really hot too, did professional modeling, most guys would have given their left, well, don't know if I am allowed to say it, but body part hehe, to have a chance to sleep with her.
I wondered why she wanted me and not someone rich and famous, but as you said their self esteem is completely messed up and they like men who treat them poorly. I just cannot do it, I am not that kind of guy. She needed someone who treated her like dirt for a good unstable dysfunctional relationship.
I was funny and ****y with her at first, and just casual with her, but after awhile she wore me down, made me fall in love with her before I knew what she was really like, and turned me into a total wbafc with her psycho mind games.
addendum:I think the "need" she has is that at some level she wants you to validate her, to start treating her like a princess. She probably thinks if she can turn you around and control you that will somehow make her feel better. Essentially she wants a challenge, she was likely abused at some point and you are like a proxy, where if you(or some other guy who treats her like dirt) validate her in the end it is the next best thing to her original abuser validating her. Of course if you actually do this, she will start treating YOU like dirt and lose interest until you act like a jerk again, because she is psycho. Actually trying to have a relationship with these women is a no-win situation. But take my advice as just personal experience/conjectures because I am not a psychologist .
Dongfu
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Actually, no I didn't. But I gained something much more valuable. I will be posting about this later. The focus of the post will have to do with taking advice about women from women. Anyway, I will have sex with her at the exact appropriate moment, no sooner no later. That was not the appropriate time.StevenR said: