"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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Question for guys over 40

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Powersurgeon

Don Juan
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I already told her that if he's going to share time with the kids I have to meet him. Or better told, he's going to meet me. I'm a recovering AFC and so my thread reeks of betaness, but as a recovering chump now I know that I wouldn't invest in a LTR with a woman like my ex.
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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Albatross953

Master Don Juan
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He's probably an alright guy. And just as much of a chump as you were. As we all were.
 
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Eco-J

Don Juan
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Yeah, there's nothing really that unusual about it. He's likely an AFC who either doesn't know or makes excuses for your ex's cheating and is "interested" in the kids bc he's sucking up to your ex (and not a dangerous pedophile). Don't let it drive you crazy.

I went through the exact same thing when I split w/ my ex - who I was still seeing daily bc of the kids - including wondering why her new admirer was so interested in the kids and telling her I thought he might be a pedophile. Shockingly, leading with accusing her of taking up with a pedophile made her less interested in listening when I came back with calmer requests (limit his interactions w/ the kids bc it can be confusing to them; see him when the kids are w/ me, etc.).
 
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Powersurgeon

Don Juan
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Thank you

Eco-J said:
Yeah, there's nothing really that unusual about it. He's likely an AFC who either doesn't know or makes excuses for your ex's cheating and is "interested" in the kids bc he's sucking up to your ex (and not a dangerous pedophile). Don't let it drive you crazy.

I went through the exact same thing when I split w/ my ex - who I was still seeing daily bc of the kids - including wondering why her new admirer was so interested in the kids and telling her I thought he might be a pedophile. Shockingly, leading with accusing her of taking up with a pedophile made her less interested in listening when I came back with calmer requests (limit his interactions w/ the kids bc it can be confusing to them; see him when the kids are w/ me, etc.).
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That's a very good advice. Yeah, I see this guy as a total AFC, and my ex being post wall or very close to it knows that she has to stick with this "nice guy", that buys her things and invites her to trips, etc.
 
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