"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Question by a Plate

Knight's Cross

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OK so one of the plates I'm hanging out with asked this doozy,"What's the worst thing people could say about you true or untrue, that you wouldn't like them to say"?

My response was that I value my integrity, and that if someone was spreading false rumors, saying that I don't hold my word, etc. I'd be pretty PO'd about that.

Granted she was a licensed psychiatrist.....Let's see where she goes with this. First hint of a head game and I'm outa there. Right now she's playing fair. The cool thing about having dated a BPD is my eyes are wide open.
This one was a psychiatrist, but is now managing fitness clubs in the city. She said that she wanted to help people stay healthy thru their body vs. what she did as a shrink doing suicide interventions, hostage negotiating, etc.

How would you guys answer the above?

KC
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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princelydeeds

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I don't give up my axis two diagnosis on the first date....Doctor...;)
 

Warrior74

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Knight's Cross, perhaps you're taking it too serious? Maybe some C+F evasion? I don't give serious answers to questions like that. That's for her to figure out.
 

Knight's Cross

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I agree W74. I've been asked things like,"what are you up to today?" Deflected back with,"curing cancer, deforesting my property..." Definitley pulled the di** card on a # of convos with her.
KC
 

Zarky

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Warrior74 said:
Maybe some C+F evasion? I don't give serious answers to questions like that. That's for her to figure out.
Exactly. You should NEVER respond to probing questions like this in a straight way. Or maybe 1 out of every 100 times.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Atom Smasher

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I disagree that she's playing fair. She's actually using a very sophisticated and stealthy way to probe you.

She is looking to hold you up to her template to see how well you fit. I think I myself would have been caught off-guard and possibly answered directly because I find those questions interesting. It could be just some harmless probing but be aware that you might have to turn the tables on this chick from time to time.

I'm sounding more and more like a fortune cookie on this forum.
 

DJDamage

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Q: "What's the worst thing people could say about you true or untrue, that you wouldn't like them to say"?

A: That I am obsessed with sex..... now are you going to take your cloths off or what?!
 

Scaramouche

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Dear KC,
She finds you interesting.....when you lose that Mystery she will leave.
 

Atom Smasher

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Scaramouche said:
Dear KC,
She finds you interesting.....when you lose that Mystery she will leave.
This is true. She considers herself a "selector" and she's qualifying you. Be on guard.
 

Colossus

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Sounds like a job interview.

I'd just answer with something ridiculous if I had the wit...but somethimes those questions catch you off guard.

If I had to give a serious answer, someone trying to deface my integrity would p!ss me off as well.
 

"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."

Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.

Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?

You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.

Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.

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