"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Question by a Plate

Knight's Cross

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OK so one of the plates I'm hanging out with asked this doozy,"What's the worst thing people could say about you true or untrue, that you wouldn't like them to say"?

My response was that I value my integrity, and that if someone was spreading false rumors, saying that I don't hold my word, etc. I'd be pretty PO'd about that.

Granted she was a licensed psychiatrist.....Let's see where she goes with this. First hint of a head game and I'm outa there. Right now she's playing fair. The cool thing about having dated a BPD is my eyes are wide open.
This one was a psychiatrist, but is now managing fitness clubs in the city. She said that she wanted to help people stay healthy thru their body vs. what she did as a shrink doing suicide interventions, hostage negotiating, etc.

How would you guys answer the above?

KC
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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princelydeeds

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I don't give up my axis two diagnosis on the first date....Doctor...;)
 

Warrior74

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Knight's Cross, perhaps you're taking it too serious? Maybe some C+F evasion? I don't give serious answers to questions like that. That's for her to figure out.
 

Knight's Cross

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I agree W74. I've been asked things like,"what are you up to today?" Deflected back with,"curing cancer, deforesting my property..." Definitley pulled the di** card on a # of convos with her.
KC
 

Zarky

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Warrior74 said:
Maybe some C+F evasion? I don't give serious answers to questions like that. That's for her to figure out.
Exactly. You should NEVER respond to probing questions like this in a straight way. Or maybe 1 out of every 100 times.
 

"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."

Attraction runs on a clock.

She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.

The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."

One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.

Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.

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Atom Smasher

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I disagree that she's playing fair. She's actually using a very sophisticated and stealthy way to probe you.

She is looking to hold you up to her template to see how well you fit. I think I myself would have been caught off-guard and possibly answered directly because I find those questions interesting. It could be just some harmless probing but be aware that you might have to turn the tables on this chick from time to time.

I'm sounding more and more like a fortune cookie on this forum.
 

DJDamage

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Q: "What's the worst thing people could say about you true or untrue, that you wouldn't like them to say"?

A: That I am obsessed with sex..... now are you going to take your cloths off or what?!
 

Scaramouche

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Dear KC,
She finds you interesting.....when you lose that Mystery she will leave.
 

Atom Smasher

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Scaramouche said:
Dear KC,
She finds you interesting.....when you lose that Mystery she will leave.
This is true. She considers herself a "selector" and she's qualifying you. Be on guard.
 

Colossus

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Sounds like a job interview.

I'd just answer with something ridiculous if I had the wit...but somethimes those questions catch you off guard.

If I had to give a serious answer, someone trying to deface my integrity would p!ss me off as well.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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