You know how they say love will happen when you least expect it. That has me confused. If love happens when we least expect it, then what is the point of us being the persuers? Love happens when you least expect it but us men have ask the women out, doesn't that point away from it happening when we least expect it? Can someone please explain that to me?
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Question about love
- Thread starter Hammer79
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
Jeffst1980
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Apr 22, 2008
- Messages
- 834
- Reaction score
- 131
The answer is that it's just a silly statement that takes advantage of our anthropocentric tendencies. Everyone wants to have a story, and unexpected love is a much better story that "well, I was running Mystery Method on this two set..."
Hahaha.Jeffst1980 said:
The way I see it "love" is a gradual feeling, that will take over when you're too immersed in it to notice--similar to how a baby grows up I guess? That's the only analogy I think of at the moment. It was building all along but you don't realize it until there's a big noticable change there....
....I totally stole that from George Harrison's interview on how The Beatles broke up...
jophil28
Master Don Juan
"They" say a lot of things that are either myths or comforting delusions.Hammer79 said:
MY alltime favorite popular hallucination is , " The badazz's and jerks get all the hot women."
The next time you see one of those guys on his Harley, take notice of who is sitting in behind him. Do you see some model gorgeous babe with hair blowing in the wind ?
:crackup:
"Love will happen when you least expect it."
That's what they tell chicks, because for them, things magically happen, when in reality, it's the result of men training, planning, plotting, scheming and generally working their arses off.
That's what they tell chicks, because for them, things magically happen, when in reality, it's the result of men training, planning, plotting, scheming and generally working their arses off.
Usually it's just his fat arse, or sometimes his equally fat girlfriend.
"She Laughed All Night. Then She Ghosted You. Here's Why."
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Bible_Belt
Master Don Juan
If love happens when we least expect it, then what is the point of us being the pursuers?
You're supposed to pursue sex, not love. The latter is an unfortunate side effect of the former.
You're supposed to pursue sex, not love. The latter is an unfortunate side effect of the former.
SoldMySoul
Master Don Juan
Bible_Belt said:
I like this and shall use it as a burning flame!!! However, I do love the woman that say, "You only want to have sex with me." I am starting to re think this too!!! If they provide more than sex, I am open to beneficial suggestions.
Kailex
Master Don Juan
Love is a myth, basically a bear trap laid by women decorated with promises of sex and stability.
zekko
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 6, 2009
- Messages
- 16,799
- Reaction score
- 10,029
I think there's some truth to that, actually. I would modify it as to say love OFTEN happens when you least expect it. I wouldn't call it a hard and fast rule.
For example, I've had women fall in love with me when I wasn't really paying attention to them. I wasn't trying for them, so obviously it was unexpected. When you're not trying, you're being yourself, and that can be attractive. So I think that's where the saying comes from.
THANK YOU for pointing that out. This myth is heavily perpetuated by this website, and other pickup gurus. It's true that women often fall for the bad boy, but it's also true that women are attracted to a variety of different kinds of men. You don't have to squeeze yourself into someone's idea of a stereotype to get women.
taiyuu_otoko
Master Don Juan
In men, I believe the feeling of "love" is the tipping point when a shyteload of hormones and unconscious and evolutionarily programmed survival strategies are fired off all at once, continuously, as a result of continued sexual intimacy with someone who happens to satisfy our various unconscious desires and needs.
Don't let my cold biological description fool you. It is the best (or perhaps one of the best) possible feeling to experience.
Nevertheless, it is programmed into us by evolution so that our ancestors didn't get a bunch of cave-women pregnant and then split the scene. Not only for child rearing, pair bonding has a dramatic effect when you consider the increased productivity due to the resultant sexual division of labor.
Since most of it is unconscious, you're not sure when somebody you hook up with is going to give you "that" feeling.
Keep in mind that the creation of "that" feeling happened when people lived in tribes of about 200 or so, so the options were fairly limitied.
Now you pass by 200 different people in the course of an hour or so in your daily life, so the chances of meeting somebody that could potentially give you you "that" feeling is much higher than 10K years ago.
The best way to minimize the randomness (and gain more control) is to do what was suggested over the Oracle at Delphi:
Man: Know Thyself.
If you know your needs, conscious and unconscious, your criteria, it's only a matter of sorting and qualifying.
The process is more complex and cerebral, but the resultant feelings are just as nice.
Don't let my cold biological description fool you. It is the best (or perhaps one of the best) possible feeling to experience.
Nevertheless, it is programmed into us by evolution so that our ancestors didn't get a bunch of cave-women pregnant and then split the scene. Not only for child rearing, pair bonding has a dramatic effect when you consider the increased productivity due to the resultant sexual division of labor.
Since most of it is unconscious, you're not sure when somebody you hook up with is going to give you "that" feeling.
Keep in mind that the creation of "that" feeling happened when people lived in tribes of about 200 or so, so the options were fairly limitied.
Now you pass by 200 different people in the course of an hour or so in your daily life, so the chances of meeting somebody that could potentially give you you "that" feeling is much higher than 10K years ago.
The best way to minimize the randomness (and gain more control) is to do what was suggested over the Oracle at Delphi:
Man: Know Thyself.
If you know your needs, conscious and unconscious, your criteria, it's only a matter of sorting and qualifying.
The process is more complex and cerebral, but the resultant feelings are just as nice.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.