You know how they say love will happen when you least expect it. That has me confused. If love happens when we least expect it, then what is the point of us being the persuers? Love happens when you least expect it but us men have ask the women out, doesn't that point away from it happening when we least expect it? Can someone please explain that to me?
"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"
Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.
She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.
Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.
So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.
The words come later. The impression comes first.
Question about love
- Thread starter Hammer79
- Start date
"I just moved here from Florida."
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Jeffst1980
Master Don Juan
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- Apr 22, 2008
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The answer is that it's just a silly statement that takes advantage of our anthropocentric tendencies. Everyone wants to have a story, and unexpected love is a much better story that "well, I was running Mystery Method on this two set..."
Hahaha.Jeffst1980 said:
The way I see it "love" is a gradual feeling, that will take over when you're too immersed in it to notice--similar to how a baby grows up I guess? That's the only analogy I think of at the moment. It was building all along but you don't realize it until there's a big noticable change there....
....I totally stole that from George Harrison's interview on how The Beatles broke up...
jophil28
Master Don Juan
"They" say a lot of things that are either myths or comforting delusions.Hammer79 said:
MY alltime favorite popular hallucination is , " The badazz's and jerks get all the hot women."
The next time you see one of those guys on his Harley, take notice of who is sitting in behind him. Do you see some model gorgeous babe with hair blowing in the wind ?
:crackup:
"Love will happen when you least expect it."
That's what they tell chicks, because for them, things magically happen, when in reality, it's the result of men training, planning, plotting, scheming and generally working their arses off.
That's what they tell chicks, because for them, things magically happen, when in reality, it's the result of men training, planning, plotting, scheming and generally working their arses off.
Usually it's just his fat arse, or sometimes his equally fat girlfriend.
"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"
She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.
You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.
She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.
The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.
Bible_Belt
Master Don Juan
If love happens when we least expect it, then what is the point of us being the pursuers?
You're supposed to pursue sex, not love. The latter is an unfortunate side effect of the former.
You're supposed to pursue sex, not love. The latter is an unfortunate side effect of the former.
SoldMySoul
Master Don Juan
Bible_Belt said:
I like this and shall use it as a burning flame!!! However, I do love the woman that say, "You only want to have sex with me." I am starting to re think this too!!! If they provide more than sex, I am open to beneficial suggestions.
Kailex
Master Don Juan
Love is a myth, basically a bear trap laid by women decorated with promises of sex and stability.
zekko
Master Don Juan
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- Aug 6, 2009
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I think there's some truth to that, actually. I would modify it as to say love OFTEN happens when you least expect it. I wouldn't call it a hard and fast rule.
For example, I've had women fall in love with me when I wasn't really paying attention to them. I wasn't trying for them, so obviously it was unexpected. When you're not trying, you're being yourself, and that can be attractive. So I think that's where the saying comes from.
THANK YOU for pointing that out. This myth is heavily perpetuated by this website, and other pickup gurus. It's true that women often fall for the bad boy, but it's also true that women are attracted to a variety of different kinds of men. You don't have to squeeze yourself into someone's idea of a stereotype to get women.
taiyuu_otoko
Master Don Juan
In men, I believe the feeling of "love" is the tipping point when a shyteload of hormones and unconscious and evolutionarily programmed survival strategies are fired off all at once, continuously, as a result of continued sexual intimacy with someone who happens to satisfy our various unconscious desires and needs.
Don't let my cold biological description fool you. It is the best (or perhaps one of the best) possible feeling to experience.
Nevertheless, it is programmed into us by evolution so that our ancestors didn't get a bunch of cave-women pregnant and then split the scene. Not only for child rearing, pair bonding has a dramatic effect when you consider the increased productivity due to the resultant sexual division of labor.
Since most of it is unconscious, you're not sure when somebody you hook up with is going to give you "that" feeling.
Keep in mind that the creation of "that" feeling happened when people lived in tribes of about 200 or so, so the options were fairly limitied.
Now you pass by 200 different people in the course of an hour or so in your daily life, so the chances of meeting somebody that could potentially give you you "that" feeling is much higher than 10K years ago.
The best way to minimize the randomness (and gain more control) is to do what was suggested over the Oracle at Delphi:
Man: Know Thyself.
If you know your needs, conscious and unconscious, your criteria, it's only a matter of sorting and qualifying.
The process is more complex and cerebral, but the resultant feelings are just as nice.
Don't let my cold biological description fool you. It is the best (or perhaps one of the best) possible feeling to experience.
Nevertheless, it is programmed into us by evolution so that our ancestors didn't get a bunch of cave-women pregnant and then split the scene. Not only for child rearing, pair bonding has a dramatic effect when you consider the increased productivity due to the resultant sexual division of labor.
Since most of it is unconscious, you're not sure when somebody you hook up with is going to give you "that" feeling.
Keep in mind that the creation of "that" feeling happened when people lived in tribes of about 200 or so, so the options were fairly limitied.
Now you pass by 200 different people in the course of an hour or so in your daily life, so the chances of meeting somebody that could potentially give you you "that" feeling is much higher than 10K years ago.
The best way to minimize the randomness (and gain more control) is to do what was suggested over the Oracle at Delphi:
Man: Know Thyself.
If you know your needs, conscious and unconscious, your criteria, it's only a matter of sorting and qualifying.
The process is more complex and cerebral, but the resultant feelings are just as nice.
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.