"She Liked You in March. It's October Now."
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
Question about friendships and attraction
- Thread starter Elfynne
- Start date
"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.
rgeere
Master Don Juan
I'm not talking about what you mean by the supposed dirty, filthy, self-absorbed, catty, manipulative female equivalent of don juans. It's actually an insult to think that those girls are equivalents to don juans.
What I said has absolute truth in the matter. For women attraction is an illogical/emotional thing where as for men attraction is basically logical. As far as sex is concerned women want it just as bad as men and there are a few that are just as aggressive about getting sex, and they don't use logical means either.
I know you're possibly going to pop up and deny what I just said, and by all means go ahead. I've heard about every argument in the book on why a woman thinks this isn't so and I would be delighted to hear a new one, but from my own experiences and successes I would say that attraction from a woman's stand point is nothing short of an illogical sexual attraction.
"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
I have to admit that I'm close to the same (rare?) type as Elfynne - If I like a guy and something more is impossible, I still like to keep in contact with him (this, however has proven to be dangerous - I like to tempt myself ;-) ) all the while knowing that I could be playing with fire...
I have several guy "friends", but I am convinced that women and men can't be friends in a general sense; maybe they have periods when they're just "friends", but something more inevitably devlops at certain moments -
There have been two cases, so far, in which the friendship has developed into something more:
In one case, I was "friends" with and mutually respected and admired a guy for 10 years (starting from the age of 10) before something physical happened between us - it ultimately ruined the friendship.
In the other case, I met a guy (who had a gf) while I had a bf and we developed feelings for each other, but nothing ever happened... We were "friends" until two more years down the road, when he and I had both already broken up with our significant others (for various reasons)... We slept together only a month ago, three years after having met...
I then moved back overseas because he was emotionally unavailable (still brokenhearted and dealing with past emotional trauma/alcohol/abuse issues) and we are still "friends"...
The rest of my guy "friends" have either said at one time or another that they want to sleep with me, have looked at me in that "funny" way or have made blatantly sexually provocative comments like, "I want to see you masturbate" or "you should become a stripper - you'd make a lot of money" - all said in "fun" but, as we all know, not only...
Also, two of the guys with whom I was able to remain "friends" were friends long distance...
So, judging from that experience, wouldn't you agree that women and men can't simply be friends?
Oh, with one exception - when the relationship was based on friendship, grew into romance, and then the romantic part ended -
My ex-bf of 6 yrs and I are now in the "friend" zone, although I broke up with him last year. To get to this stage, of course, takes time... But that friendship "love" is still there and that's why we're still friends...:woo:
Docs
Banned
)I'm not interested in sex, not for a long long time, I'm interested in developing this friendship into a relationship. As of current, I guess she's never made much of a 'move' that could suggest liking me, except for the fact that she enjoys me around whenever I am (I have a weird work life). As for me, I make it a point to always find a way to Kino, either by tapping her on the shoulder when I need to talk to her, and hugs. Last christmas, a small present I gave her, I kissed her on the head (kinda like a caring kiss type-deal).
I'm known around my friend circle as a real sweetheart, a very nice person, caring, etcetc. I have a ex-gf that is in the friend circle and she knows exactly how I act if I get well..abused for my niceness. Just yesterday, my other friend was INCREDIABLY impressed that I went out of my way to get tickets for a concert she really wanted to go too, but she got someone to go with already.
So, back on track now..I would love to someday make my friendship into a relationship and I was wondering if any of you girls here could help give a few pointers or things I can work on that could increase the chance of it
others: I don't want flaming posts on how you think it might never work, i'm giving a limb, I don't want to be chewed apart.
Thank you for any comments that assist..
Hound_of_Love
Don Juan
- Joined
- May 16, 2005
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- 144
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Not intending to flame but...don't ask girls how to do this. Even girls don't understand girls.
“The 22 Rules That Flip the Script With Women… And How You Can Use Them Tonight”
Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
diplomatic_lies
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 4, 2002
- Messages
- 4,366
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RaWBLooD
Master Don Juan
i see everyone as equal, until they show they can be better.
Do you talk to women other than your age?
I mean if you are a healthy male, you will be physically attrated to many women, doesnt mean u cant be friend with them.