"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"
She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.
Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.
The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.
Question about friendships and attraction
- Thread starter Elfynne
- Start date
"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
rgeere
Master Don Juan
I'm not talking about what you mean by the supposed dirty, filthy, self-absorbed, catty, manipulative female equivalent of don juans. It's actually an insult to think that those girls are equivalents to don juans.
What I said has absolute truth in the matter. For women attraction is an illogical/emotional thing where as for men attraction is basically logical. As far as sex is concerned women want it just as bad as men and there are a few that are just as aggressive about getting sex, and they don't use logical means either.
I know you're possibly going to pop up and deny what I just said, and by all means go ahead. I've heard about every argument in the book on why a woman thinks this isn't so and I would be delighted to hear a new one, but from my own experiences and successes I would say that attraction from a woman's stand point is nothing short of an illogical sexual attraction.
"She's Out of Your League"
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
I have to admit that I'm close to the same (rare?) type as Elfynne - If I like a guy and something more is impossible, I still like to keep in contact with him (this, however has proven to be dangerous - I like to tempt myself ;-) ) all the while knowing that I could be playing with fire...
I have several guy "friends", but I am convinced that women and men can't be friends in a general sense; maybe they have periods when they're just "friends", but something more inevitably devlops at certain moments -
There have been two cases, so far, in which the friendship has developed into something more:
In one case, I was "friends" with and mutually respected and admired a guy for 10 years (starting from the age of 10) before something physical happened between us - it ultimately ruined the friendship.
In the other case, I met a guy (who had a gf) while I had a bf and we developed feelings for each other, but nothing ever happened... We were "friends" until two more years down the road, when he and I had both already broken up with our significant others (for various reasons)... We slept together only a month ago, three years after having met...
I then moved back overseas because he was emotionally unavailable (still brokenhearted and dealing with past emotional trauma/alcohol/abuse issues) and we are still "friends"...
The rest of my guy "friends" have either said at one time or another that they want to sleep with me, have looked at me in that "funny" way or have made blatantly sexually provocative comments like, "I want to see you masturbate" or "you should become a stripper - you'd make a lot of money" - all said in "fun" but, as we all know, not only...
Also, two of the guys with whom I was able to remain "friends" were friends long distance...
So, judging from that experience, wouldn't you agree that women and men can't simply be friends?
Oh, with one exception - when the relationship was based on friendship, grew into romance, and then the romantic part ended -
My ex-bf of 6 yrs and I are now in the "friend" zone, although I broke up with him last year. To get to this stage, of course, takes time... But that friendship "love" is still there and that's why we're still friends...:woo:
Docs
Banned
)I'm not interested in sex, not for a long long time, I'm interested in developing this friendship into a relationship. As of current, I guess she's never made much of a 'move' that could suggest liking me, except for the fact that she enjoys me around whenever I am (I have a weird work life). As for me, I make it a point to always find a way to Kino, either by tapping her on the shoulder when I need to talk to her, and hugs. Last christmas, a small present I gave her, I kissed her on the head (kinda like a caring kiss type-deal).
I'm known around my friend circle as a real sweetheart, a very nice person, caring, etcetc. I have a ex-gf that is in the friend circle and she knows exactly how I act if I get well..abused for my niceness. Just yesterday, my other friend was INCREDIABLY impressed that I went out of my way to get tickets for a concert she really wanted to go too, but she got someone to go with already.
So, back on track now..I would love to someday make my friendship into a relationship and I was wondering if any of you girls here could help give a few pointers or things I can work on that could increase the chance of it
others: I don't want flaming posts on how you think it might never work, i'm giving a limb, I don't want to be chewed apart.
Thank you for any comments that assist..
Hound_of_Love
Don Juan
- Joined
- May 16, 2005
- Messages
- 144
- Reaction score
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Not intending to flame but...don't ask girls how to do this. Even girls don't understand girls.
"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
diplomatic_lies
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Aug 4, 2002
- Messages
- 4,366
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RaWBLooD
Master Don Juan
i see everyone as equal, until they show they can be better.
Do you talk to women other than your age?
I mean if you are a healthy male, you will be physically attrated to many women, doesnt mean u cant be friend with them.