Most guys accidentally kill attraction before they even speak. They assume they need a bigger bank account, a better physique, or smoother lines. They miss the point.
Female desire operates on a specific set of psychological triggers. Break them, and you're invisible. Follow them, and you become magnetic.
I learned this the hard way. Years of freezing up. Getting friend-zoned. Watching other guys walk away with the girl I wanted. Then I discovered a set of 22 simple rules that rewired my entire approach.
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
Well, now that you have experienced such situations for yourself, you know exactly the type to avoid.Originally posted by superpud
I guess this post wasn't necessary, and yeah, you're right Elfie. I've known a few girls who I let drive me crazy like that. What was I thinking?
Originally posted by Elfynne
With me personally, attraction is very emotional as well as physical; I'm rather sentimental and I always develop feelings for someone I'm attracted to.
Originally posted by rgeere
Take notes gentleman, the cat's out of the bag. All women are pretty much like this...
I'm not talking about what you mean by the supposed dirty, filthy, self-absorbed, catty, manipulative female equivalent of don juans. It's actually an insult to think that those girls are equivalents to don juans.Originally posted by Elfynne
Ummm....no, they aren't. The female equivalents of Don Juans that are always being described with such disgust on these forums, are not like this at all.
Attraction runs on a clock.
She flirted for weeks. Touched your arm. Found reasons to be alone with you. And you were careful. Respectful. Waiting for the right moment.
The moment had a shelf life. It expired around month two, and by the time you asked her out, she'd quietly filed you under "little brother."
One of the hardest lessons inside the 22 Rules: women rarely wait. Interest either grows or it decays, and nothing decays it faster than a man who never moves.
Make the move while she's still inventing reasons to be near you.
I have to admit that I'm close to the same (rare?) type as Elfynne - If I like a guy and something more is impossible, I still like to keep in contact with him (this, however has proven to be dangerous - I like to tempt myself ;-) ) all the while knowing that I could be playing with fire...Originally posted by becker
How many of these friendships ever turned out to be anything more?
Not intending to flame but...don't ask girls how to do this. Even girls don't understand girls.So, back on track now..I would love to someday make my friendship into a relationship and I was wondering if any of you girls here could help give a few pointers or things I can work on that could increase the chance of it
the ladder theory article was written by a sad and bitter group of people.Originally posted by Elfynne
Reading the "Ladder Theory" article made me raise this question: If you are attracted to someone, or vice versa, is it possible to still be just good friends with them?
I suppose I'm just curious because I once liked a guy who had a girlfriend already. I knew I didn't have a chance, but I thought that if I could be his friend, that would be better than being his nobody. With me personally, attraction is very emotional as well as physical; I'm rather sentimental and I always develop feelings for someone I'm attracted to. Anyway, I never even spoke to the guy because I was far too scared to approach him. It may sound weird, but I am usually very intimidated and even frightened of guys that I like.
So, anyway, I would appreciate your thoughts on this.
Naw it just makes you have no balls... and is a bit of a turn off even for men (me at least) towards women. Maybe you're a hypocrite too.Originally posted by Elfynne
and I would wait for him to make the first move. I'd never make the first move...I suppose I'm a little Victorian when it comes to female aggressiveness.
You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.
And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.
Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.
The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.