Quest to get a gf or get laid by Feb 32nd, 2039.

[Chaotixxx]

I've noticed a recurring theme throughout your entire thread and in most of your posts. I think this is the real reason for your problems.

You set yourself tasks or goals to accomplish, because you want the end result, which is natural. For example, you want to be slimmer, you want to have sex with an attractive woman, you want a relationship, etc.

However, your ideas and methods to combat any of this are never direct, head on, to the point and ultimately; effective. You take the easier, more cowardly but less rewarding options that usually lead to little progress.

For example, getting sex/relationship/dates - You straight away hit the books, you hit internet sites, you use your parents.

For example, losing weight and getting a good body - Walking, herbal stuff, fat free sweets and weird health stuff.

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If you truly wanted to smack this area(s) of your life, instead you would:

For getting sex/dates etc - Get a good haircut, get/use some decent clothes and shoes/trainers and go out and approach lots of women in malls, bookstores, coffee shops, streets, gym, clubs both irectly and indirectly and go for it. That's opening, talking to them and then closing.

For your physique/health - Go running, join a quality gym and do weights and cardio, eat a quality diet with meat, veg, fruit, pasta, rice, eggs, milk etc. in a calorie deficit and actually change the way you look.

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Bottom Line - You take the cowardly, risk free but ultimately less helpful and rewarding options because you never step out of your comfort zones. You don't take plunges and you don't just go for it. It's always meticulous, cowardly and very safe; and you don't take on board advice from others, which means you keep sticking to these 'safe' ideas with little/no return.

Even look at the title of your thread - The date is Feb 2009, which is 1.5 years way, which is a very long time. This encourages you implicitly to do nothing for ages because the deadline isn't too impending as it stands. Also, notice "gf or get laid"; this means in theroy, you could post in 1.5 years saying "I'm still a virgin, but I'm dating this girl now so I guess it's ok." Notice how it's always safe, meticulous and never too ballsy and taking the plunge? Bad attitude to have in life.

MM

Hit the nail right on the head, grow some balls man.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

Basically - rotating friends in a revolving door-set up. Will focus on a particular female friend, try and set-up a date that particular week, then focus on another girl at another week and set-up another date, and continue doing this with all female friends who are willing to go out with me. Each week therefore shall be with a different girl in a sort of 'line-up'. This is a MINIMUM STANDARD and it's possible that more than one girl may be seen in a given week.

These shall all be 'friends'. Reason for this system is I'm mostly invested in my career and dont have much time for a relationship (since they seem to be falling through the cracks if I live in denial that relationships dont need time I may as well concede) but think that a minimal effort is needed to socialize and get comfortable dating and being around women.

In this 'revolving friends' door, I'm still somewhat selective on who is spiritually (i.e. if they like reading questionable literature I'm not sure if I'll see them) in the door. However, the concept is to use whatever resources are out there and fit them into efficiency - and this is the most efficient use of resources.

The idea was actually reverse engineered by an ex-limerant (ex-crush) that seemed to revolve me around her life, and perhaps a shadow to the ex-limerant afterwards --- even though I do not like them, I still think they have a good idea or system and decided to try this myself - friendzone everyone and have a revolving door of various female friends - if you cant win, then at least steal their ideas and use them yourself on the opposite sex like a good Russian spy.

****

On the aside:
In this time-sector - I've decided to relax porn viewing laws and allow myself to masturbate whenever I want to - basically soft-core porn is viewed at a maximum of 5 minutes five times a week, at least once a day, and there are three strike rules further than that.

- Basically 'word' porn is fine - or any content in movies that has sexual related themes or content is also looked at.
- Three strike rules are in place to maintain order and stay in line - as opposed to the absolute strike-shield where any viewing of porn would result towards suspension of the internet, so enforcement is relaxed.

This system is implemented because the girl on this thread - didn't kiss me at the end of the date.

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[wolf116]

This system is implemented because the girl on this thread - didn't kiss me at the end of the date.

**********

You mean, you diden't kiss her.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

You mean, you diden't kiss her.

I tried to kiss her the last time and she said lets talk about it - she brought up something that I hurt her something I did earlier but we never ended up talking about it on this date, maybe she didn't want to kiss this time.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

Well, didn't know this thread was lying around somewhere still, but will update it today.

It turns out that right now I'm no longer interested in getting laid, but am just having pleutonic / business relationships with taken women (and non-taken 'LJBF' as this appears to be what I have been doing since March 3rd this year and have been going for lunch dates, coffee, etc.. with them. It seems I'm content and there is no sexual or other frustration out of this. In fact, just went on a lunch date with a married woman who paid for a buffet.

Interim deadline to September 25, 2008 to find a girlfriend appears to not be working out. As usually, I'm not meeting any new girls or have the time, and do not see anyone that I would be compatable with, so looks like that deadline is also going to pass.

Will continue lurking and reading up on various threads and free e-books within this site, etc....

 

[IsiMan84]

Apparently this thread died with your chances.

 

[daygameguy]

wow. you need some changes. and need to start NOW.

1. Join a gym - Run like a mad animal and lift medium heavy weights.
2. Change hairstyle or clothing to appear well groomed, at least to your own satisfaction.
3. Stop posting problems. Find solutions in the field and get valuable advice here.
4. Be OUTSIDE your head when you are out, and need to take action rather than analyze what to do or say.
5. Focus on the process and not the outcome. Do something to enjoy your life APART from the pick up/dating world.

Your success depends on how badly you want to improve yourself. Stop posting in this thread.

 

[Prod]

wow. you need some changes. and need to start NOW.

1. Join a gym - Run like a mad animal and lift medium heavy weights.
2. Change hairstyle or clothing to appear well groomed, at least to your own satisfaction.
3. Stop posting problems. Find solutions in the field and get valuable advice here.
4. Be OUTSIDE your head when you are out, and need to take action rather than analyze what to do or say.
5. Focus on the process and not the outcome. Do something to enjoy your life APART from the pick up/dating world.

Your success depends on how badly you want to improve yourself. Stop posting in this thread.

You are spot on, but this change will not happen now, after 20 pages of "discussion". Seriously, how much can you have to say about underachieving severely without making some progress.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

wow. you need some changes. and need to start NOW.

1. Join a gym - Run like a mad animal and lift medium heavy weights.

I'm already part of a gym. I'm starting to do that.

2. Change hairstyle or clothing to appear well groomed, at least to your own satisfaction.

I have already done this.

3. Stop posting problems. Find solutions in the field and get valuable advice here.

I'm looking at threads on here.

4. Be OUTSIDE your head when you are out, and need to take action rather than analyze what to do or say.

Of course. Most of the time I analyze is AFTER the fact anyway.

5. Focus on the process and not the outcome. Do something to enjoy your life APART from the pick up/dating world.

There are plenty of things I enjoy doing APART from the pick up/dating world and it's not like I'm desperate either to get laid or find a girlfriend.

 

[Bible_Belt]

This morning I went to church with my girlfriend and her mother, sangs songs about Jesus, and then went to lunch with the two of them. Then my gf and I went back to my house and had wild monkey sex all afternoon. The stuff this girl does makes porn look boring, plus she has F-cup t!ts.

She was single for a long time, and went to church every Sunday morning with her mother. If any guy would have had the balls to come up and talk to her, she would have been very happy about it, but no guy ever did. Think about that when you see those church girls without a guy. They are just as lonely and sexually frustrated as you, if not more so.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

This morning I went to church with my girlfriend and her mother, sangs songs about Jesus, and then went to lunch with the two of them. Then my gf and I went back to my house and had wild monkey sex all afternoon. The stuff this girl does makes porn look boring, plus she has F-cup t!ts.

She was single for a long time, and went to church every Sunday morning with her mother. If any guy would have had the balls to come up and talk to her, she would have been very happy about it, but no guy ever did. Think about that when you see those church girls without a guy. They are just as lonely and sexually frustrated as you, if not more so.

Interesting story, but all just the same. ALL church girls that I have seen visiting a few churches have guys approaching them all the time and talking to them, and they are usually in a group anyway. This ideal world of some single girl that no guy is talking to them, and the first one that comes up is lucky is just fantasy. You probably had a great connection with her, while she may have blown off or friendzoned other guys there.

 

[Luke Skywalker]

Do not get me wrong. The lastest post I made to update this thread was not a declaration that I'm sexually frustrated with myself or even have any problems. It's merely stating that I have expanded my mind to ALLOW friendships to exist with girls who are already taken, whereas before I wouldn't even talk to them or think I'm being strung along. LJBF/singles are still rejected as a class of women that I'm staying away from since a sence of loss or severe compromise is associated. Still trying to juxtaposition friendship with taken women vs friendship with single women that may not really be the right match without hating them.
For whatever reason I'm taking them on if they are nice to me and if they are coming out with me.

In a sence this is good practise to get comfortable around women that I'm not trying to impress, and therefore do not have a sence of loss if something goes awry (because they are already taken, therefore there is no need to try and impress or try to get them to like you), and it's a state of mind to stay into so when I do talk to single women, I can juxtapostion them both together. I was also going after ugly single women too that are not in demand, again, to get into that comfortable state of mind where you do not feel a need to impress, or sence of loss if something goes wrong. It also seems I'm not really motivated that much anyway as perhaps I'm content here, and just think I have other challenges in life that's bigger than finding a girl, such as making my next Real-Estate deal, or having a stable set-up where it would be possible to move out of my parent's house without going homeless after a few months.

For example, today was a picnic that I could have gone to with an office function where I set up a meeting with a Spanish girl from Equidor to visit there. I forfeited and stayed home out of laziness. So, it doesn't seem to me that I'm very motivated for whatever reason, but seem to be content as I described having whatever form of social validation from even taken women.

 

[PulpFiction]

Luke you gotta get over yourself because no one but you can solve your own problems.You know the basics,fear is holding you up.Do not fear women i.e. do not fear rejection.If your first date goes well you can be damn sure you'll get laid that very day if you don't screw up.But if you wait and think "I will kiss the girl on the first date but I won't do her" then you'll lose everything.
Girls love sex and they don't like wussies.I listened to an NLP track by Chris Howard and he said "If somebody believes they're shy,there are certain actions they won't take and therefore there will be certain experiences of life that will be cut off to them,like going out or going dancing or meeting new people;but that person’s world has changed as a result of the believe that they HAVE."

You gotta believe that every single thing in your life goes the way,YOU want it to be because in this way you'll be able to reach your goal,you're the one who has set your goal and your you're the one who will reach it.

Best of luck getting it on with the girl of your dream

 

[TheBaconator]

Hey Luke have you and fleshlight reconciled or you still on the outs?

 

[Desdinova]

Who the hell changed the year from 2008 to 2009 in the thread title?

 

[daygameguy]

Who the hell changed the year from 2008 to 2009 in the thread title?

:crackup: :crackup:

 

[PulpFiction]

Originally Posted by Desdinova
Who the hell changed the year from 2008 to 2009 in the thread title?

Well said

 

[IsiMan84]

Who the hell changed the year from 2008 to 2009 in the thread title?

In the grand scheme of things, does it really matter what the date is? You know the outcome (or lack thereof) is gonna be the same either way haha.

 

[Alle_Gory]

Mods: The title is innacurate. It should be 2010.

 

[TheBaconator]

Mods: The title is innacurate. It should be 2010.

I'd go with "Quest to get laid before I drop dead"