"The Coffee Shop Girl You Never Spoke To"

You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.

For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.

Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.

The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.

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Pushed a girl to far

Theminatar

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This girl I'm interested doesn't text people back, when I asked why all she replied with "Don't worry about it". I kept asking why and she answered with the same thing over and over to the point she got pissed and said, "Don't ****ing worry about it!" After that I told her no, she'll hate me for it, but I will continue to worry about it.

After some thought I realized I shouldn't keep pushing someone to open up so I sent and apology text.

I guess my question is, how bad did I mess up? And can this be fixed? She keeps her emotions to herself and I want her to open up to me.
 

"She Wants a Man, Not a Boy"

You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.

Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.

Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.

Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.

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jtlancer

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This person is not worth your time or effort.
 

Theminatar

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jtlancer said:
This person is not worth your time or effort.
Yeah, it probably is for the best. I'll next her, she's so far in her shell I think she's lost.
 

NorwegianDJ

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I suppose you'll figure out later. Focus on getting better right now man, you need it. Girls come 2nd, but that doesn't mean you dont focus on girls.
 

f283000

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Theminatar said:
This girl I'm interested doesn't text people back, when I asked why all she replied with "Don't worry about it". I kept asking why and she answered with the same thing over and over to the point she got pissed and said, "Don't ****ing worry about it!" After that I told her no, she'll hate me for it, but I will continue to worry about it.
Stop making her seem like she's the prize. Your constant questioning of her not answering texts is just you stroking her ego without you knowing it. It's giving her more power and making you look weaker at the same time by making her feel more important than she really is.
After some thought I realized I shouldn't keep pushing someone to open up so I sent and apology text.
Apologize for what??? She using a cuss word at you?? she should be the one apologizing to you! You totally played this wrong.

NEVER APOLOGIZE TO A WOMAN EVER AGAIN! It's a basic rule that if you didn't know by now then now you know. It doesn't make you attractive it makes you weak. Women like men that don't apologize to anybody and are accountable for their own actions.

The only thing you will get with apologizing to women is being seen by women as a weak nice guy.
I guess my question is, how bad did I mess up? And can this be fixed? She keeps her emotions to herself and I want her to open up to me.
Do the opposite of what everyone & you do with her. You are probably not the first dude to try to get her to open up. With women the guys that win are those that are "different."

I would try the following tactics

1. show sexual interest in her: call her sexy, talk about you two kissing, get her to picture you two together, try to get her wet.
2. neg her and break her down: so you tried being nice to her like everybody else and that didn't work. Try to the opposite.

I would try one of the two tactics above but don't take this gal too seriously. Use her as an experiment but don't put too much effort.
 

“The 22 Psychological Triggers That Make Women Chase You… Starting Tonight”

Forget the cash, the cars, and the chiseled jawlines. Female desire operates on a completely different frequency. Primal. Subconscious. Triggers that bypass her logic and hit her on a gut level. Most guys are totally blind to them.

I know because I was one of them. The overthinking. The paralysis. The silent drive home kicking yourself for freezing up. Watching average guys walk away with the girl while you stood there stuck in your own head.

Then I decoded the psychology behind what actually makes women tick. 22 hard rules.  Subtle behavioral shifts that rewired my entire reality. The anxiety evaporated. Women started leaning in. Investing. Chasing.

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Theminatar

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f283000 said:
Stop making her seem like she's the prize. Your constant questioning of her not answering texts is just you stroking her ego without you knowing it. It's giving her more power and making you look weaker at the same time by making her feel more important than she really is.

Apologize for what??? She using a cuss word at you?? she should be the one apologizing to you! You totally played this wrong.

NEVER APOLOGIZE TO A WOMAN EVER AGAIN! It's a basic rule that if you didn't know by now then now you know. It doesn't make you attractive it makes you weak. Women like men that don't apologize to anybody and are accountable for their own actions.

The only thing you will get with apologizing to women is being seen by women as a weak nice guy.

Do the opposite of what everyone & you do with her. You are probably not the first dude to try to get her to open up. With women the guys that win are those that are "different."

I would try the following tactics

1. show sexual interest in her: call her sexy, talk about you two kissing, get her to picture you two together, try to get her wet.
2. neg her and break her down: so you tried being nice to her like everybody else and that didn't work. Try to the opposite.

I would try one of the two tactics above but don't take this gal too seriously. Use her as an experiment but don't put too much effort.
I'll definitely try tactic #2, and while negging I'll just completely and blatantly ignore her.
 

NorwegianDJ

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Theminatar said:
I'll definitely try tactic #2, and while negging I'll just completely and blatantly ignore her.
No dude, I highly doubt that will work. She needs to have interest in you for that to have some effect. Combine the two "tactics".
By the way, #2 doesn't say anything about ignoring.
 
U

user43770

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Yeah, I don't know how negs are going to help you at this point. You've already come off as needy through your constant texting - if you start negging her or showering her with sexual innuendos you will just be confirming your desperateness. Your best bet at this point is to try and forget about her. She needs to see that you have your own sh1t going on. She needs to see you talking to other girls having a good time. She may never come begging for your affection, but if that's the case, you probably didn't have a chance anyways. It's better to cut and run with your dignity intact than to let her think that she owns you.

Good luck out there.
 

SharinganUser

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Pushed a girl to far...

...Down the stairs? :kick:

Seriously though, as others have said, just back off for awhile and start going out with other women. Either she will wonder what is up, or she won't. Either way it's not a big deal.
 

"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Theminatar

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All ready decided I'm done with her. I went to school today and talked to a friend of mine.
 
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