oakraiderz2
Master Don Juan
I know there are some here, theres gotta be. I just wanna know what year you are, if you wanna go to grad school, what youre interested in and anything else interesting.
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
Please tell us what your real major is.Potbelly said:You mean who here is getting a degree in having common sense? Like if someone is sad...what does it mean? Hmm...they're depressed maybe...
Not me, I chose a real major.
Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."
You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.
She's been waiting forty minutes.
Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.
I was joking man...did you not read the sarcasm? My real major is in economics and biology (double major). I might have to minor in one of those though....dunno how it looks right now.seanchai said:Please tell us what your real major is.
I didnt see any sarcasm in it either...interesting combo you got there.Potbelly said:I was joking man...did you not read the sarcasm? My real major is in economics and biology (double major). I might have to minor in one of those though....dunno how it looks right now.
My favorite professor, who teaches most of the classes I take, loves Seligman. He's also very big on Erik Erikson, whose Developmental Stages are forever etched into my brain as a result. Last MOD we essentially focused entirely on Positive Psychology and counseling using the Skilled Helper Model...from Egan's "Essentials of Skilled Helping". That text is geared heavily towards Positive Psychology. Good stuff...doctoroxygen said:I'm graduating with a degree in psychology this summer. I just presented my research on interactions between sexual history and situational factors on automatic sexual perceptions at a research symposium at my school yesterday.
Next year I'm going to be a paid research assistant in the psych department at my university while applying to Ph.D. programs in clinical psych with an emphasis on positive psychology interventions.
That is, of course, if I don't decide on medicine instead![]()
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.
lol...it's easier to tolerate people when you want to learn from them.doctoroxygen said:Seligman is a genius academically, but I hear he's a monster ****. Of course, I wouldn't turn down a spot at Penn's program
The program that interests me in George Mason with Todd Kashdan. He researches both curiosity as a signature strength and social anxiety in veterans.
Are you familiar with positive psychotherapy? If you have access to PSYCInfo look it up. It's in the Nov 2006 "American Psychologist". Fascinating and ground-breaking article, but largely ignored by disease-oriented folks.
That's very true, and a lot of psychology professors think it's a problem. There's a huge amount of "physics envy" in psychology, a real need to focus on making psychology into a "hard science" when that's not what it was intended to be. I say leave the real science to the biologists, chemists, and physicists and let psychology be fascinated by the world without understanding itPlasticSurgeon said:A lot of Psych programs are integrated heavily with Biology and Physiology and in my opinion that is the direction the field of Psych is moving.
Statistics are only as good as the people gathering them are honest and objective. Statistics are so easily manipulated to show whatever the person wants them to show.PlasticSurgeon said:Psychology becomes a science with Statistics. Ever notice that every psych program requires a stats class? You can prove any theory with t tests, chi square's, confidence intervals, and the 'null hypothesis.' Stats is the course that proves psychology is a real science!![]()
Agreed, a good statistician can prove just about anything.Wyldfire said:Statistics are only as good as the people gathering them are honest and objective. Statistics are so easily manipulated to show whatever the person wants them to show...
You've said it a hundred times. Maybe a thousand. And every time you say it, you train your brain to freeze the next time she walks into the room.
Leagues are a myth invented by guys who are scared of women.
She's a person. She has bad breath in the morning. She picks songs she can't sing in the shower. She overthinks her own texts.
Walk over. Say something. The league dissolves the second you open your mouth.
Only to people who are foolish enough to trust statistics.Francisco d'Anconia said:Agreed, a good statistician can prove just about anything.
The fact is...you are foolish if you trust statistics. I've worked for lots of non-profits who only got necessary funding by statistically proving there was a large need for their services. People who gather statistics have already decided prior to gathering them WHAT they want the statistics to show. So...they target populations most likely to provide the statistics they are looking for.Potbelly said:^ words of an idiot.
You trust good statistics you dumbass. Just because it isn't perfect and people cheat doesn't mean you discount the whole field. Do you go discounting all churches because some pervs molest kids?
You asked her if she wanted to grab coffee. Then you asked if the time worked. Then you asked if the place was okay. Then you asked if she'd prefer tea.
Four questions. Four chances for her to say no. Four signals that you're terrified of making a decision.
Plan it. Pick the place. Pick the time. Tell her where to meet you. She'll either show up or she won't.
Either way, you look like a man instead of a scared little boy.