oakraiderz2
Master Don Juan
I know there are some here, theres gotta be. I just wanna know what year you are, if you wanna go to grad school, what youre interested in and anything else interesting.
You replay the conversation at 2 a.m. She texted back fast yesterday. Today, nothing. Was that smile friendly or flirty? What did the shoulder touch mean?
Every hour you spend decoding her signals drains your confidence and hands her the controls. Women can sense that insecurity from across the room — and it repels them.
One of the "22 Rules" kills the obsession on the spot: assume she likes you, and act accordingly. Sounds too simple. Works anyway.
Her interest tends to rise to meet your expectations. Psychologists call it a self-fulfilling prophecy.
That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?
She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."
She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.
I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.
Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.
Please tell us what your real major is.Potbelly said:You mean who here is getting a degree in having common sense? Like if someone is sad...what does it mean? Hmm...they're depressed maybe...
Not me, I chose a real major.
You've replayed it a hundred times. She stood three feet away, scrolling her phone. You had an opening. You composed the perfect line — after she was gone.
For all you know, she's married now. To some guy who said something. Anything.
Openers are cheap. Almost any sentence works when it's delivered within three seconds. The expensive part is the standing there, drafting and deleting, while the window quietly closes.
The "22 Rules" stripped out my hesitation. What to open with, how to keep it alive, and the one habit that costs guys more women than anything else: waiting for perfect.
I was joking man...did you not read the sarcasm? My real major is in economics and biology (double major). I might have to minor in one of those though....dunno how it looks right now.seanchai said:Please tell us what your real major is.
I didnt see any sarcasm in it either...interesting combo you got there.Potbelly said:I was joking man...did you not read the sarcasm? My real major is in economics and biology (double major). I might have to minor in one of those though....dunno how it looks right now.
My favorite professor, who teaches most of the classes I take, loves Seligman. He's also very big on Erik Erikson, whose Developmental Stages are forever etched into my brain as a result. Last MOD we essentially focused entirely on Positive Psychology and counseling using the Skilled Helper Model...from Egan's "Essentials of Skilled Helping". That text is geared heavily towards Positive Psychology. Good stuff...doctoroxygen said:I'm graduating with a degree in psychology this summer. I just presented my research on interactions between sexual history and situational factors on automatic sexual perceptions at a research symposium at my school yesterday.
Next year I'm going to be a paid research assistant in the psych department at my university while applying to Ph.D. programs in clinical psych with an emphasis on positive psychology interventions.
That is, of course, if I don't decide on medicine instead![]()
I could talk to any woman I wasn't attracted to. Charming, funny, relaxed. Then a gorgeous woman looked my way and I'd become a sweating, babbling mess.
The fix took me years to find and ten minutes to learn. Nervousness and excitement are the same physical state — pounding heart, adrenaline, flushed face. Your brain just picks the label. And you can pick a better one.
Rule 16 shows you how. You feel the nerves, relabel them as excitement, and let that energy pour out as enthusiasm. Women notice the guy radiating it. They always do.
lol...it's easier to tolerate people when you want to learn from them.doctoroxygen said:Seligman is a genius academically, but I hear he's a monster ****. Of course, I wouldn't turn down a spot at Penn's program
The program that interests me in George Mason with Todd Kashdan. He researches both curiosity as a signature strength and social anxiety in veterans.
Are you familiar with positive psychotherapy? If you have access to PSYCInfo look it up. It's in the Nov 2006 "American Psychologist". Fascinating and ground-breaking article, but largely ignored by disease-oriented folks.
That's very true, and a lot of psychology professors think it's a problem. There's a huge amount of "physics envy" in psychology, a real need to focus on making psychology into a "hard science" when that's not what it was intended to be. I say leave the real science to the biologists, chemists, and physicists and let psychology be fascinated by the world without understanding itPlasticSurgeon said:A lot of Psych programs are integrated heavily with Biology and Physiology and in my opinion that is the direction the field of Psych is moving.
Statistics are only as good as the people gathering them are honest and objective. Statistics are so easily manipulated to show whatever the person wants them to show.PlasticSurgeon said:Psychology becomes a science with Statistics. Ever notice that every psych program requires a stats class? You can prove any theory with t tests, chi square's, confidence intervals, and the 'null hypothesis.' Stats is the course that proves psychology is a real science!![]()
Agreed, a good statistician can prove just about anything.Wyldfire said:Statistics are only as good as the people gathering them are honest and objective. Statistics are so easily manipulated to show whatever the person wants them to show...
Dinner ran three hours. She laughed at everything. You walked her to her car thinking this one's locked in.
Then: nothing. Two texts. No reply. What happened?
You did what most men do on a great date. You filled every silence, answered every question, and left her with nothing to wonder about. No mystery. Nothing to sit with when she got home.
Rule 3 of the "22 Rules" changes the ending: tell her a little, hold back the rest, and let her imagination do the chasing. The ghosting stops too.
Only to people who are foolish enough to trust statistics.Francisco d'Anconia said:Agreed, a good statistician can prove just about anything.
The fact is...you are foolish if you trust statistics. I've worked for lots of non-profits who only got necessary funding by statistically proving there was a large need for their services. People who gather statistics have already decided prior to gathering them WHAT they want the statistics to show. So...they target populations most likely to provide the statistics they are looking for.Potbelly said:^ words of an idiot.
You trust good statistics you dumbass. Just because it isn't perfect and people cheat doesn't mean you discount the whole field. Do you go discounting all churches because some pervs molest kids?
Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.
You've been "getting ready" for two years.
She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.
Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.