Prioritizing career, relationship downfall, and break-up

bluepilled

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Hi guys, in need of your experiences and insights with regards to breaking up.

Background: 28 years old, 6'4'', I wouldn't call myself an alpha yet but I've certainly had my fair share of interactions with women (having been with around 30 of them). I am hungry for power and growth and have been that way long before I've even heard of everything redpill-related. I thought something was deeply wrong with me until I ran into Rational Male and SoSuave.

Anyway, met a girl a couple years ago whom I've banged, we stayed in touch even though she lives far away. I think she fell in love with me because of my determination to be the best version of myself, being ****y, honest and supportive of her and the fact that I don't really need her, but rather want(ed) her.
Decided to try my first exclusive relationship with her, as I nailed a Ph.D. position nearby that fits my future career considerations perfectly. In the meantime she was transitioning from finishing college to finding work and I encouraged her to look outside of her state as well (because she was scared that she won't find something she wanted), and she told me she was interested in a place 700 miles away and that she's already found a direct flight to my city.
I tell her that she misunderstood, that I support her in pursuing her deepest desires, but that I don't want an LDR. She flips out on me, I stay resolute, and tell her that if I got a job that really interested me somewhere in the States, I would take it regardless of our status. In our long talks, I also said that I'm not the cheating type (and not for lack of options), but rather the guy who would end things as soon as they got stale.
She was DEVASTATED by and in tears because of this, but still stuck with me, demonstrating her love along the way. She decides to find another job which would let her work remotely and live in my city. Often pays for our dinners, hotel rooms, makes food for me, gets wet and enjoys sucking my c*ck, seeing me pleased, all that desire sh*t. I see a child in her eyes when she looks at me.

However, lately my gut feeling has been telling me that something went wrong. I check her messages and see she told a guy who's into her (texting her he really misses her) that he can visit her in October, coincidentally while I'm on vacation. A few days later she asks me when exactly have I bought the plane tickets. I gave her an opportunity to tell me what her plans are, but she never mentioned anything about the guy and told me that her sister is going to visit her. She doesn't know I saw the messages.
I'm pretty sure I'm not paranoid, but I will confirm this soon. And when I do, I will give her a chance to explain herself, after which I will break up with her (in any case).
What I need from the DJs here is the advice on how to break up with a girl in a way that would demonstrate higher value and allow me to move on. I won't lie, this is the first girl I've had feelings for and she has been great to me. I believe I'm just not the guy for her as she likely doesn't want to live in this intense of uncertainty. I saw her backup guy, and while I'm not going to comment on his appearance, he is certainly not a higher SMV prospect than I am (although, may he one day become a high SMV man, all the more power to him ;) ).
I am planning on
1) Looking at the texts once again to be 100% sure that I'm not an emotional little b*tch who is just being paranoid;
2) Sitting her down, telling her that I have this terrible feeling of something not being exactly right, and asking again why she inquired about my plane tickets;
3) Get the truth out of her and tell her in a solemn, calm, and polite way that she is clearly not the woman for me and that I'm not the guy for her;
4) Delete our chat history, photos, social media connections, etc., to facilitate the process of getting over her. Carrier-oriented or not, this still hurts my ego and even though I know I can find somebody better for me (no disrespect to the girl), I very much like(d) this one.

Thoughts? Thanks.
 
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bluepilled

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Line, thank you for your reply.
I think I did validate her, as she literally said on multiple occasions that I am the man who gives her power. I think the issue here is putting myself before her in ALL scenarios and not going all in for her like she was ready to go for me.
Which I don't regret. If I'm not sure she's the woman I want to raise a family with one day (which would likely interest me in the future if the conditions were right for me), I can't promise anything.

But I am asking on advice how to break it up in a civilized manner, not for hindsight.
 

bluepilled

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Full validation is a death warrant. With that being said, you have no idea that you are being manipulated. She has a fall backup plan and backups. You are in a forum talking about this. She is not.

You are not withdrawing mentally and physically. You can be manipulated because you are taking those past moments as authentic. This is her leverage.
Why does she need a backup? Why don’t men do this? Everything is in the wiring. You think she feels like you do. You would be upset if a woman was contemplating dumping you. It’s completely different for her. This is why people say say a man is one blow job away from love.

I will be right up front with you. She wants an anchor to execute her dualistic sexual strategy on.
Line, Line, Line, you apex analyst you!

I'm not asking about the why or how, I realize that very much :) I'm not trying to romanticize my relationship or put the girl on the pedestal, I'm stating the facts. Thanks anyway.

Again, what I wanted from this post is 2 cents on how to approach a break up.
 
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