"Why Women Dump the Guys Who Try the Hardest"

You paid for dinner. You drove. You said "whatever you want is fine" every single time. All the effort, no expectations.

And she left anyway — probably for a guy who makes her pick up the pizza.

Painful. Also predictable. Her mind quietly concludes that anything requiring zero effort from her is worth exactly zero. You became a free sample, and free samples get taken for granted.

The 22 Rules flip the dynamic. Small shifts that get her investing effort, money, and time in you — until SHE'S the one afraid of losing YOU.

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ppl always say that im over confident?

antidonjuan

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back to grade 6 teachers and friends all say that i am over confident even until now, the girls ive talked to always said that i am over confident and somtimes ****y, what should i do? after reading the dj bible, i learned that confident and ****iness are great things, but ppl are actually stating this fact, it feels awkward hearing it

should i back off a bit and act a bit less confident?
 

"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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L Duke

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antidonjuan said:
back to grade 6 teachers and friends all say that i am over confident even until now, the girls ive talked to always said that i am over confident and somtimes ****y, what should i do? after reading the dj bible, i learned that confident and ****iness are great things, but ppl are actually stating this fact, it feels awkward hearing it

should i back off a bit and act a bit less confident?
take as a compliment because it is
 

antidonjuan

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yea, i think i am haha but its just the way i am.. i tried to back off sometimes but i show overconfidence and some arrogance without concience, ehh this is annoying
 

War Against Betaism

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It all depends on the tone they said it to you in. If they said it in a way like "Hey you're pretty overconfident," it MIGHT mean a good thing. Being overconfidence is better than having a lack of self esteem. But if they said it like "omg I swear you're so overconfident," then that's bad. Just be more open minded.
 

"Stop Asking Your Friends What to Text Her"

Your buddy Dave has been single for three years and thinks "hey u up" is a valid strategy. Your other buddy Mike just got dumped and told you to "just be yourself."

You showed them her text. You asked them to decode the emoji. You drafted four responses and sent the screenshot to the group chat for a vote.

She's been waiting forty minutes.

Put the phone down. Stop crowdsourcing your love life. Type something that sounds like you. Hit send. Then go do literally anything else with your evening.

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Damian

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There's a line between CONFIDENCE and ARROGANCE. I've learned the hard way that RESPECT is that line.

A lot of people, when starting out with C+F, overcompensate for confidence with arrogance. They disregard everyone else's thoughts and opinions because it is easy to assume they are insignificant compared to whatever your own thoughts are. This creates a sort of enmity that pushes you into the "a-hole" zone. It's almost too easy to become self-absorbed and jaded, but you always have to keep others' emotions in the back of your mind.

Over time, you'll come to find a balance between confidence and disregard. You can still be confident while practicing mutual respect. Have serious conversations with people and take respect their opinions. You can be confident and sympathetic at the same time. Be aware of how other people feel around you and have them keep a positive attitude of you. Remember that a good DJ is confident, but behind that confidence is an empathetic individual that can understand and connect with people on an emotional level.
 

Dank Juan

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If you were playful and funny you wouldn't come off as such an ass.
 
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