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Power in a relationship and ultimatums about marriage etc

mrgoodstuff

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With the amount of leverage and entitlement they have in our society, they have positioned themselves as the "bosses" of the relationship ( in the non male Alpha ) cases. They will respect an outside Alpha male outside of your relationship as if he has the full range of discernment and proper decision making as a female. So in essense you are a "helper" in your own situation. Men outside of the household that she does not control are considered and viewed as men. Some of them attractive to her because she has not conquered them. We know for a fact that when women control the man that they will NOT SEXUALLY DESIRE HIM. They do not view him as a full male, he is a subordinate.



She CANT be grateful. When they position themselves as the "boss" of the relationship ( you pedastaled her ), they can NEVER be grateful, because you are supposed to do XYZ anyway. Each and every act of devotion, that required concentration, sacrifice, thought all lower your position in relation to her.



In todays society, it is most important to have your priorities in order. First it's you and your way of financially supporting yourself. Then it's your kids if you have any and any other activities you are part of or self care, or business development and growth. And then it's her, somewhere behind or ahead of "friends and family" depending on time, loyalty and effort.



It's really simple today. She simply cannot run the show because the male won't be appreciated and his needs won't be met. You need to understand your program and what works for you, and only deal with women who are compatible and want to accommodate that style.
Imagine that... Your her man and since you complied and did all your "honey dos", and was responsible and forthright she feels better than you. And any outside unattached man she looks at as more put together, more mature, more interesting and more attractive.
 

BackInTheGame78

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When a women sets ultimatums about marriage having children and buying property together how does a man regain the power without agreeing to such demmands if it’s not war he wants. Is the only option to walk away and start a fresh with someone else? I’m not sure I’m ever cut out for such commitments
Agree and amplify. Or ignore it. Or let her know by your actions that tou disapprove of her attempted ultimatums.
 

RickTheToad

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Make it very clear at the start of the relationship that there's no way you'll want those things. If she does not accept your terms then consider it time saved, better than waiting for however long until she suddenly starts pushing her agenda.

If you're looking for a specific type of relationship it's a lot more efficient to make the terms of it very clear early on. It seems many guys just shut up and hope for the best, until after having wasted a lot of time being passive about the whole thing discovers she wants something else.
Doesn't matter. They think you'l change your mind. Been there, done that a few times already.
 

mrgoodstuff

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Some excellent posts here guys. I think the game is already up tbh, as said she wouldn’t be giving ultimatums if she valued being with me that much she would not risk it
If we ponder it here or complain about it, it's probably not good at all.
 

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mrgoodstuff

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Doesn't matter. They think you'l change your mind. Been there, done that a few times already.
So how did it go down, so they tried to press their agenda thru again later? How did you act? Were you able to get them to give up on some consessions?
 

metalwater

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In todays society, it is most important to have your priorities in order. First it's you and your way of financially supporting yourself.
It is really clear how this works, I think every time. I tend to blame other men for women's bad behaviour and chances are that in most case there is another guy that has caught the interest of the girl. Just isn't obvious to others yet some times. She sort of has to have something to measure against to determine that we are not the strong one. Her imagination can put a crap guy ahead of her man, or if there is enough or the right choice the guy might be actually better. This issues just do not happen to couples that are more isolated. Almost 100% of the couples that move back from isolation to a social circle will end up with this issue within a short time. Threads like this one remind me about how the women behave when they lose respect. It is almost the same every time and for every man that it happens to. The behaviours and comments from the men are almost identical for each case after normalizing for culture, age, and backgrounds.
 

mrgoodstuff

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It is really clear how this works, I think every time. I tend to blame other men for women's bad behaviour and chances are that in most case there is another guy that has caught the interest of the girl. Just isn't obvious to others yet some times. She sort of has to have something to measure against to determine that we are not the strong one. Her imagination can put a crap guy ahead of her man, or if there is enough or the right choice the guy might be actually better. This issues just do not happen to couples that are more isolated. Almost 100% of the couples that move back from isolation to a social circle will end up with this issue within a short time. Threads like this one remind me about how the women behave when they lose respect. It is almost the same every time and for every man that it happens to. The behaviours and comments from the men are almost identical for each case after normalizing for culture, age, and backgrounds.
You can "lose respect for being 'too helpful ' to her ". You see when we do much more than they would they Guage it against what they would do for you. And that's how you lower yourself in her eyes being helpful. We must ensure our relationship are equally yoked.
 

Kotaix

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When a women sets ultimatums about marriage having children and buying property together how does a man regain the power without agreeing to such demmands if it’s not war he wants. Is the only option to walk away and start a fresh with someone else? I’m not sure I’m ever cut out for such commitments
My sister did this, she demanded children from my now brother in law or else she would leave him and find someone who would give them to her. He complied and they're happy right now, with the caveat that he already had two kids previously and it didn't take place in the US. There was no demand to buy property. My sister used to be an entitled brat, but she has calmed down quite a bit since having kids and realizes what she put my parents thru since her kids started doing the same thing to her.

When she says "buying property *together*" does it mean you pay for it and she gets to keep half on the exit deal? Or is she putting up money?

You cannot fight against a woman whose clock is ticking. If you don't give her what she wants then I guarantee that she'll be gone within 6 months, and she'll be looking for some poor chump to monkey branch to the minute you tell her no.
 

metalwater

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My sister did this, she demanded children from my now brother in law or else she would leave him and find someone who would give them to her. He complied and they're happy right now, with the caveat that he already had two kids previously and it didn't take place in the US. There was no demand to buy property. My sister used to be an entitled brat, but she has calmed down quite a bit since having kids and realizes what she put my parents thru since her kids started doing the same thing to her.

When she says "buying property *together*" does it mean you pay for it and she gets to keep half on the exit deal? Or is she putting up money?

You cannot fight against a woman whose clock is ticking. If you don't give her what she wants then I guarantee that she'll be gone within 6 months, and she'll be looking for some poor chump to monkey branch to the minute you tell her no.
for the baby thing, yes if she wants it then that is her priority. what about the other demands, will she fold on those or also always branch to get them?
 

Kotaix

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for the baby thing, yes if she wants it then that is her priority. what about the other demands, will she fold on those or also always branch to get them?
That depends on her, but if she's demanding a nest then I doubt she'd fold on those terms.

My ex walked because I wouldn't buy a house even though she was living rent free under my roof and wasn't going to pay a dime. Good for me because that relationship was crap. I have another friend that went as far as to buy a house when his crazy ex did the same thing to him. Now he's stuck with a mortgage and not happy about it, but at least he didn't have kids with or marry that psycho b!tch.
 

Georgepithyou

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Unless u are both religious, i don't see the point in getting married. I also don't see why an atheist woman would want marriage
 

metalwater

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That depends on her, but if she's demanding a nest then I doubt she'd fold on those terms.

My ex walked because I wouldn't buy a house even though she was living rent free under my roof and wasn't going to pay a dime. Good for me because that relationship was crap. I have another friend that went as far as to buy a house when his crazy ex did the same thing to him. Now he's stuck with a mortgage and not happy about it, but at least he didn't have kids with or marry that psycho b!tch.
good job. why do they want a house, is it really that they plan to take it, or is it a status competition with other women? clearly other dudes will not care if she owns a house or not...
 

RickTheToad

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So how did it go down, so they tried to press their agenda thru again later? How did you act? Were you able to get them to give up on some consessions?
Stood my ground, offered to each of them, very kindly, if this is not what you can handle, no problem. You can leave at any time. I had the convo again with my current GF. Day one, when we started dating, no marriage and no lawyers. Pretty simple. Not sure how it can be misconstrued in any way.

TBH, at my age, I really do not care if any of them stay or go. I never had this much clarity until after my divorce and subsequent annulment. Simple fact is, I am getting older, and I do not want to have to start over, nor have any State or person have control over me. Marriage is control, it's not an equal partnership. I can honestly say, I hated being married. I didn't like what mine was ours, and vice-versa. I do not want anything from any one else, so I never understood why I should have to be forced to share my fruits. If I want to, sure, but as soon as you are married, every penny you earn is half the other persons. Unfair in every way. Would I miss them (or her) if they go, sure, but I'd miss my financial security more. Females can be replaced easily; usually with a hotter and younger model. Finances and assets, not so much.
 

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mrgoodstuff

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Stood my ground, offered to each of them, very kindly, if this is not what you can handle, no problem. You can leave at any time. I had the convo again with my current GF. Day one, when we started dating, no marriage and no lawyers. Pretty simple. Not sure how it can be misconstrued in any way.

TBH, at my age, I really do not care if any of them stay or go. I never had this much clarity until after my divorce and subsequent annulment. Simple fact is, I am getting older, and I do not want to have to start over, nor have any State or person have control over me. Marriage is control, it's not an equal partnership. I can honestly say, I hated being married. I didn't like what mine was ours, and vice-versa. I do not want anything from any one else, so I never understood why I should have to be forced to share my fruits. If I want to, sure, but as soon as you are married, every penny you earn is half the other persons. Unfair in every way. Would I miss them (or her) if they go, sure, but I'd miss my financial security more. Females can be replaced easily; usually with a hotter and younger model. Finances and assets, not so much.
Lol @ clarity
 

mrgoodstuff

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It is really clear how this works, I think every time. I tend to blame other men for women's bad behaviour and chances are that in most case there is another guy that has caught the interest of the girl. Just isn't obvious to others yet some times. She sort of has to have something to measure against to determine that we are not the strong one. Her imagination can put a crap guy ahead of her man, or if there is enough or the right choice the guy might be actually better. This issues just do not happen to couples that are more isolated. Almost 100% of the couples that move back from isolation to a social circle will end up with this issue within a short time. Threads like this one remind me about how the women behave when they lose respect. It is almost the same every time and for every man that it happens to. The behaviours and comments from the men are almost identical for each case after normalizing for culture, age, and backgrounds.
What kind of comments are said?
 

Mauser96

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When a women sets ultimatums about marriage having children and buying property together how does a man regain the power without agreeing to such demmands if it’s not war he wants. Is the only option to walk away and start a fresh with someone else? I’m not sure I’m ever cut out for such commitments

If you don't want to do something, don't.

You need to decide for yourself, then sit down and discuss it with her. You two obviously aren't on the same page - which is ok - but why keep wasting each other's time?
 

CAPSLOCK BANDIT

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Ultimately, a negotiation cannot be a negotiation, without one or both parties expressly threatening to remove themselves.

Marriage, in my mind, is about arranging; your time to negotiate is over and hers is just beginning.

Basically, the second she started negotiating with you instead of arranging with you, it was over all the way back then... Like the negotiation doesnt get better for you over time.

But I suppose im the Manipulation guy and Manipulation is about Counter Manipulation: its a very deep concept... For example, once the ultimatum is given, she begins performing even more Manipulation, so you really have to catch this fast or have a deep understanding of basic Manipulation.

Any time a ultimatum is given, you are SILENT. Let her flounder to your reactionless response. Silence is the ultimate power... It doesnt work against all Manipulations, but its a basic defense... You keep her mind on that Ultimatum, not past it, by being silent.
 
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Georgepithyou

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Forcing Child support payments should be illegal, most times the wives don't even use it for the children. All it does is allow the wife to blackmail the husband.
 
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