"She Made Her Decision Before You Finished Your Sentence"

Three seconds. That's how long it took. Your shoes. Your posture. The way you held your drink. Whether you looked at the floor or looked at her.

She already filed you away. Interesting. Boring. Safe. Bold. Before you even opened your mouth.

Everything you say after that is just her confirming what she already decided.

So stop rehearsing lines. Fix the first three seconds. Stand tall. Look up. Smile like you mean it. Walk like you belong wherever you're standing.

The words come later. The impression comes first.

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Posture

orthanc

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Hello all, I have another question for you.

I naturally stand with a very closed posture, often crossing my arms and slouching. I never intend to convey that I'm brooding, withdrawing, etc., it just happens to be the way I stand. I try and remain conscious of this, and try to not stand like this when I am out "in the field", but I often find that as soon as I stop thinking about it, I go back to crossing my arms. Any suggestions as to how to counteract this instinct?
 

"How I Made Sure No Woman Ever Friend-Zoned Me Again"

She calls you when her car breaks down. When she needs help moving. When some guy she's actually dating treats her badly.

You're the listener. The reliable one. The guy who would treat her so much better, if she'd just open her eyes.

She won't. You trained her to see you as the low-effort option — the friend who requires zero risk and zero investment. Every favor dug the hole deeper.

The "22 Rules" break the pattern. You'll stop auditioning for a role she already cast and become the man she chases instead. It starts with Rule 1.

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wolf116

Master Don Juan
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hit the weights. work on your back to pull your sholders back. or wide grip chinups
 

jamescr73

Senior Don Juan
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yeah lift weights, and when you stand with your arms crossed, bring them up high, by your pecks. Stand tall, and use your arms to define your pecks. This will make you look tough, yet your body language wont portray that you are closed off, insecure, unconfident or whatever.
 

T Square

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I used to have that problem in high school. If you just keep consciously practicing better posture, it will eventually become a habit. Now I rarely slouch at all.

I haven't tried it, but I also hear that the Alexander Technique is good for improving posture.
 

Sean O

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Well-developed abs are also important for good posture. I don't mean being ripped, I just meaing having strong, built abs.
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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banGbro

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Try developing arms and shoulders, chest and back, gym is good but could be done at home. Once you start lifting 40 lbs dumb bells in each hand you start getting pump, when you pump you want to keep your hands apart.

But the mare fact that you forget to control your posture, tells that you forgetting to control yourself, so that could also be a problem.
 

Jariel

Master Don Juan
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As others have said, lift weights. Nothing improved my posture more.

When your muscles are flaccid, your posture will naturally sink. You don't necessarily have to be a bodybuilder if you don't want to, but just keep those muscles active.
 
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