"I just moved here from Florida."

That sentence contains at least five follow-up questions she WANTS you to ask. Where in Florida? What brought you here? How long have you been in the area? What do you miss? How does it compare to here?

She handed them to you on a silver platter. And you said, "Oh cool. I come here every week. I love this band. Ummm... pretty crowded tonight."

She smiled politely. Nodded. And never texted you back.

I was that guy for years. Talking too much. Listening too little. Panicking about my next sentence while she was literally feeding me the answers.

Then I found 22 rules that fixed the whole thing. Rule number one: shut up and listen. She'll tell you exactly what to say.

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Posture

orthanc

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Hello all, I have another question for you.

I naturally stand with a very closed posture, often crossing my arms and slouching. I never intend to convey that I'm brooding, withdrawing, etc., it just happens to be the way I stand. I try and remain conscious of this, and try to not stand like this when I am out "in the field", but I often find that as soon as I stop thinking about it, I go back to crossing my arms. Any suggestions as to how to counteract this instinct?
 

"You'll Never Feel READY to Walk Over"

Next Monday you'll feel more confident. After the gym you'll feel more confident. After one more drink you'll feel more confident. After you get a better haircut, a better jacket, a better job.

You've been "getting ready" for two years.

She's standing ten feet away right now. She'll be gone in four minutes. No amount of preparation will manufacture the courage that only comes from moving your feet.

Walk over. Stumble through the first sentence. Let it be clumsy. Let it be imperfect. You will feel more alive in those ten seconds than you have all month.

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wolf116

Master Don Juan
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hit the weights. work on your back to pull your sholders back. or wide grip chinups
 

jamescr73

Senior Don Juan
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yeah lift weights, and when you stand with your arms crossed, bring them up high, by your pecks. Stand tall, and use your arms to define your pecks. This will make you look tough, yet your body language wont portray that you are closed off, insecure, unconfident or whatever.
 

T Square

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I used to have that problem in high school. If you just keep consciously practicing better posture, it will eventually become a habit. Now I rarely slouch at all.

I haven't tried it, but I also hear that the Alexander Technique is good for improving posture.
 

Sean O

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Well-developed abs are also important for good posture. I don't mean being ripped, I just meaing having strong, built abs.
 

"So, What Do You Do for Fun?"

She asks it casually, mid-sip. And you feel the floor open up, because the honest answer is work, gym, and a couple shows you're half-watching.

Women rarely say this out loud, but a man with a life is attractive before he says a word. The guy who spent Saturday deep-sea fishing and came back with photos and a story — he walks in already interesting.

The "22 Rules" pushed me to build a life worth talking about. Turns out the fastest way to be interesting to women is to be interested in your own life first.

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banGbro

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Try developing arms and shoulders, chest and back, gym is good but could be done at home. Once you start lifting 40 lbs dumb bells in each hand you start getting pump, when you pump you want to keep your hands apart.

But the mare fact that you forget to control your posture, tells that you forgetting to control yourself, so that could also be a problem.
 

Jariel

Master Don Juan
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As others have said, lift weights. Nothing improved my posture more.

When your muscles are flaccid, your posture will naturally sink. You don't necessarily have to be a bodybuilder if you don't want to, but just keep those muscles active.
 
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